May 1998 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: Fwd: a little crude, but funny none the less!]]]
by cybersmartie 22 May '98

22 May '98

>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>To My Dear Wife: >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. >>>>>>>>>>I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten >>>>>>>days. >>>>>>>>>>The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>-54 times the sheets were clean >>>>>>>>>>-17 times it was too late >>>>>>>>>>-49 times you were too tired >>>>>>>>>>-20 times it was too hot >>>>>>>>>>-15 times you pretended to be asleep >>>>>>>>>>-22 times you had a headache >>>>>>>>>>-17 times you were afraid of waking the baby >>>>>>>>>>-16 times you said you were too sore >>>>>>>>>>-12 times it was the wrong time of the month >>>>>>>>>>-19 times you had to get up early >>>>>>>>>>- 9 times you said you weren't in the mood >>>>>>>>>>- 7 times you were sunburned >>>>>>>>>>- 6 times you were watching the late show >>>>>>>>>>- 5 times you didn't want to mess you new hair-do >>>>>>>>>>- 3 times you said the neighbours would hear us >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory >>>>>>>>>>because: >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>- 6 times you just layed there >>>>>>>>>>- 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling >>>>>>>>>>- 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with >>>>>>>>>>- 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished >>>>>>>>>>- and one time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you >>>move >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>To My Dear Husband: >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons >>>>you >>>>>>>>>>didn't get more than you did: >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>- 5 times you came home drunk and tried to fuck the cat >>>>>>>>>>- 36 times you did not come home at all >>>>>>>>>>- 21 times you didn't cum >>>>>>>>>>- 33 times you came too soon >>>>>>>>>>- 19 times you were soft before you got in >>>>>>>>>>- 38 times you worked too late >>>>>>>>>>- 10 times you got cramps in your toes >>>>>>>>>>- 29 times you had to get up early to play golf >>>>>>>>>>- 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the >>>balls >>>>>>>>>>- 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper >>>>>>>>>>- 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running >>>>>>>>>>- 2 times you had a splinter in your finger >>>>>>>>>>- 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day >>>>>>>>>>- 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book >>>>>>>>>>- 98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on >>>>>TV >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>Of the times we did get together, the reasons I laid still was >>>>>>>>because: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>- You missed and were fucking the sheets >>>>>>>>>>- I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said >>>>was, >>>>>>>>>>"would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" >>>>>>>>>>- The time you felt me move, was because you farted and I was >>>>>trying >>>>>>>>>>to breathe >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>HEH HEH!! >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>I have a game for you. Once you read this letter, you have to >>>keep >>>>>>it >>>>>>>>>>going. You must send this letter to 7 people within 5 days. On >>>the >>>>>>>5th >>>>>>>>>>day someone will ask you out or say "I love you". This is not a >>>>>>joke. >>>>>>>>>It >>>>>>>>>>has worked for many years. If you break the chain, you will have >>>>>bad >>>>>>>>>>luck forever. >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>* If you read this letter on a Sunday, wish for a really fun >>>week. >>>>>>>>>>* If you read this letter on a Monday, wish for money. >>>>>>>>>>* If you read this letter on a Tuesday, wish for love. >>>>>>>>>>* If you read this letter on a Wednesday, wish for success. >>>>>>>>>>* If you read this letter on a Thursday, wish for anything you >>>>>want. >>>>>>>>>>* If you read this letter on a Friday, wish for a hot date. >>>>>>>>>>* If you read this letter on a Saturday, wish for an important >>>>>phone >>>>>>>>>>call >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>Send this to seven people (after you make a wish). >>>>>>>>>>REMEMBER, make a wish, send this letter (and hope it happens). >>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>Good Luck!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>>______________________________________________________ >>>>Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com >>> >>> >>>______________________________________________________ >>>Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>______________________________________________________ >>>Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com >>> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Jeff > .-""-. > (___/\ \ > , (|^ ^ ) ) > /( _)_\=_/ ( > ,..__/ `\ ____(_/_ ` \ ) > `\ _/ _/---._/(_)_ `\ ( > '--\ `-.__..-' /. (_), | ) > `._ ___\_____.'_| |__/ > `~----"` `-.........' > > > > ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sinister: What a lovely day for a shout... -Reply
by Pedro Rodrigues 22 May '98

22 May '98

>>> Steven Jay Goldman <sgold06(a)emory.edu> 21 May 1998 14:43 >>> > Hey fellow B&Sers... > (...) > Carpe ranam, > --Steven "Seize the frog"? Is that it? I'm amazed,... talk about high ideals! :-))) Tell me i'm wrong, will you? ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sinister: oooh, it's my first time
by N.C. West 22 May '98

22 May '98

Hello I've been onthe list for a couple of months or something but was in a state of miserable non particiaption. But now too much time in the criminology library trying to tempt people into stealing my felt tips (because it would be really funny, right) has given me the impetus to actually reach out and talk to you... Milla- hello only found out you were into B&S through a tape you made for Andy Harris. and you're on the list. Cool. I hope to see you soon. I am jumping off the Cambridge ship and running away for a couple of days though. (ps when's the picnic?) Hugh tuffen- hope everything's good with your volcanos- I tried to email you a while ago but the address didn't workxx just spotted a grey squirrel out of the window- vermin but v cute. My cat eats them (but leaves the tails) love Naomi x ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sinister: Calling all Cambridge folks!
by Stephen Landamore 22 May '98

22 May '98

Is anybody going along to Boogie Wonderland tonight? I am going to be there with some friends, please come and say 'hi!' if you see me, I shall be wearing a very purple shirt. But then again, so is probably everyone else :-) On a B&S related note, did I hear mention of an imminent Cambridge picnic? Regards, Stephen ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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RE: Sinister: stuart david on telly
by blue soda 22 May '98

22 May '98

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RE: Sinister: stuart david on telly
by Chris Leonard 22 May '98

22 May '98

>>he'll be on a channel 4 documentary called "the party's over" which is >>basically a cheap controversial/political/pathetic* swipe at the >>so-called "cool britannia" stage of the labour party's government. it >>starts at 23.35 and finishes at 00.35 So, was he actually on this? I fell asleep halfway through. I fear he was and I have subliminally acquired his diction. I'll be even more sweary from now on. I do have "things can only get better" (new labours theme tune) spinning round my head, which is rather upsetting. Also you know the dog on wheels video, when cheekbones murdoch spray paints "le pastie de la bourgeousie" on the wall at charing cross? It was there last week and now it's not. It's gone. Someone stole it and put it on they're bedsit wall. And painted the wall red. Piffle. Won't someone cheer me up? I'm in a bad way. Oh hold on, it's Serge tonight! Happy! Renfrew Ferry is in Glasgow , Rob b you asked. You'd better get your skates on if your going to come. That is all, c ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sinister: bee love
by Lindsay Sworski 22 May '98

22 May '98

janine wrote... >during the job interview I believe I told them about how I love >bees, and my desk and computer are covered with bee stickers, little >stuffed bees, bee stamps, a jar of honey, etc. when i was in elementary school i used to chase bees!!!! i decided when i saw all the silly girls in their frilly dresses running and screaming like there were hands up their pants - that i would be the girl who ran after the bees instead of running from them. Im actually pretty proud of how wonderful little me was! and i never got stung either. probably good i never caught one... HI EVERYBODY OUT THERE!!!!!!!!! IM HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!! he he lindsay ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sinister: I think I'm getting addicted
by Mark Casarotto 22 May '98

22 May '98

As I'm writing this, I have the programme rumoured to contain Stuart David on in the background. Reports as they come... A question - when someone writes something relevant particularly to you, or relating to something you said in a posting, is it etiquette to write to them individually or to post on the list? As I'm not sure, here are a couple of responses to things I've seen... 1. Laini - I have Degogo's first single, if you're interested in hearing some - might be worth waiting for the album, though - I think it's going to be a bit groovy (in a year's time, natch). I'll be seeing them all in a coupla months when they come over to record (for Lo-fi, the label run by Nick and Warren from Duran Duran), so I'll let you know what's going down if yr interested! 2. Milla-Isobel - yes, a band sounds like a fantastic idea!! I'm not v good with m'guitar, but I do try, and I have an idea or two. I can't believe you cover You made me forget... it's my total fave B&S song (though I'm sure it'll be a different one tomorrow). I live in London too - near Wimbledon - and jamming would just rock my world (see, I even know the lingo). Anyone else fancy it? 3. Rob b - Stina Nordenstam, YES!!! I haven't got any of her stuff (well, one song on an ancient compilation tape made for me by an extremely clued up friend 5 years ago), but I always regret finding out more. Still haven't seen Stuart on the telly - Martin Rossiter, yes - maybe later? Don't think I'll be at the social on Friday (though you never know) but the picnic is absolutely essental - and this time I might actually introduce myself to some people (lucky people), as long as they promise to play football with me! I'll have my friend Jackie with me, who's a bit unhappy at the moment, but I'm sure I can rely on you all to cheer her up. Okay, what new stuff do I have to say? The Daily Mail and The Daily Express make me angrier than ANYTHING in the WHOLE WORLD - they write such preachy, prissy, fascistic, judgmental, advantage-taking, bigoted, inciting-to-racial-hatred fucking FUCKING SHIT!!! that I can barely breathe, I'm so apoplectic. The only thing they've ever done that I've enjoyed was when they named the blokes who killed Stephen Lawrence - ethically it was v. dodgy, but in this case I fuckin' loved it. And the Levellers suck big-time. That'll do now. Pop music and football - that's what it's all about! See you on Monday, sweeties, love Mark xxx p.s. still no bloody Stuart - they always make us wait... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sinister: Yalberton Road/Brixham Road Paignton.
by Adrian Evans 22 May '98

22 May '98

Keith wrote : >What a lovely day it is today. That all depends on what you're doing really. Weathers nice if that's what you mean. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Sinister: Yalberton Road/Brixham Road, Paignton.
by Adrian Evans 22 May '98

22 May '98

Keith Watson wrote : >I could do with a nice cup of tea. You deserve one Keith. Treat yourself to one of those London Herb and Spice Company "Sweet Berry Swirls". ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister(a)majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------

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