October 1999 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: introduction and sex talk
by Gregory Dole 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Hi, I'd like to introduce myself after a month or two of lurking. My name is Greg Dole, I am from Ottawa, Canada, I am currently working in the U.S. of A., and I like a certain band from Scotland. I would like to weigh in on the sex euphemism (spelling?) discussion. To my amusement, my american colleagues use the expression "getting the job done." This working class approach to sex gets me laughing every time someone talks about a sexual escapade. Here's me: Hey Mike, what did you do last night? Mike: Well, me and Suzie had a bottle of wine and then we spent the night getting the job done. That's humour if you ask me. Note that I use the term getting the job done without reference to myself. Why? I'm honest. Other favourites include horizontal jogging and the horizontal mambo. However, both are a bit too wordy, so I generally stick with getting the job done. I find great humour in the term getting the job done, and as I often hear it misused in everyday conversation, the humour value is times ten. Basically I like getting the job done, shabloinking and horizontal jogging, I don't mind shagging, but you won't find me talking about fuck*ng or making love. Of course, that's just my opinion, and I'm easily amused. And I'll end here because this is a hell of a long email about nothing. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: where wine, dance and music is the name of the game.....
by Scott Rowland 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

evenin' all if you want to feel better then compare your life against mine........ it's friday night and i went to the pub after work but instead of staying out and getting boozed up i am now at home watching transformers:the movie.......... oh and if anyones going to salako at the borderline next friday and fancies a couple of pints before get in touch anyway must go optimus prime and megatron are about to have their final battle. luv hugs n stuff scottie xxxx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Please excuse my big feet
by Dan Hooper 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Howdy all you sinister kids, Seem I inadvertently trod upon zoe's toes in my last post, and for this I sincerely apologize. My intention was not to hurt anyone's feeling or cast aspersions upon anyone's home, but merely to suggest some fun in the sun. I am sorry if my humor missed it's mark. I meant no disrespect or to make a new member feel bad. I would also like to thank all those of you for your messages of condolence for my recent heartache, even those who upbraided me for my foolishness (thanks and smiles Brandt). I'm still tumbling down the road towards hopeless romanticism, I'm still searching for my soulmate (which I obviously still believe in), and I still don't love anyone in particular (except maybe my sister, though I do love all of you for your indulgence and kindness). Anyway, I'm back to my old happy, cashmere-socks wearing self, wishing I were downing boddington's with b & s loving people in a dark warm pub and falling in love with a sweet pickish girl with a soft warm accent. Oh well, I'll live vicariously through the sinister postings. I remember, not so long ago, there were some rather forward party behaviours reported here. How come none of the parties I go to devolve to such decadent levels? (well they do, but not before we have to take the girls home). Regarding what we call sex: I've always found "making love" a bit too precious (unless it is said in a Barry White kinda voice), but otherwise I have to agree with danielle. "Shagging," like so many britishisms, really captures all fun and dumbness and there is to say about it, but to use it on this side of the pond makes you sound like your sending up Austin Powers. "Fuck" and "screw" sound too rude to use with someone you really like, and the ever popular "do it," and "hide the salami" can be confusing after a few beers. So I like "boink" or "bonk." They sound fun, silly, and lighthearted like "shag," but with out the crushed velvet aftertaste. But the best are the secret codes we establish with our regular lovers, like "and what prodigious mowing shall we make?" Alasdair's explanation of the baseball analogy we yanks use to describe our sexual exploits is much tamer than what I learned in the backseat of my father's oldsmobile, but certainly more fitting with the experiences in my cafe. For a graphic depiction of the more traditional take on this analogy listen to "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" from Meatloaf's first Bat Out of Hell Album (I wouldn't necessarily buy it, but with the number of units that album continues to sell, you might be surprized at who you might borrow it from). A homerun is pretty obvious, but the bases are harder to pin down. They seem to vary depending on geographic location, education, and socio-economic background of the participants. I've even heard it differ between the participants (The boy: "I didn't go any further than first base, after all it was only our third date" The girl: "He was so close to home it wasn't even funny. I guess he doesn't like me."). And just for the record, I love the gentle wind LP and still think Isobel is babe. I too make passes at girls who were glasses. With that I bid you good weekend and All the best Daniel Hooper +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I wonder what you people do with your lives
by susannah 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Kids. Morrisey! Did you all see Harry Hill 'do' Morrisey on Celebrity Stars in their Eyes last Saturday? Fantastic. I've seen Trousers 'do' Morrisey too, and that was also equally fantastic. Do you remember that guy who used to hang round Highbury Garage on a permanent Morrisey trip? If you know him or have seen him recently then write in stating whether he still is. Closing date next Wednesday. Sean Hughes! My crush grows ever larger. Ever time I see him on Never mind the Buzzcocks I wet my pants(again).Last time i was watching it with my Dad and Dad kept making very lewd comments about Marianne Faithfull who was on at the time. Its really disturbing to hear your Dad going on about Mars Bars and where to shove them. Anyway Sean used to always be hanging at the bar at the Garage getting pissed. Is he still? I've spoken to him once or twice but just sort of 'alright Sean?' and thats as far as it goes. He lives in North London too, but where Kids? where? Rumour has it he was/is going out with 'What is this remerkable antiperspirant?' girl. Is this all old hat? Its hard to keep up. Oh, yes. Blokes in hairbands. Gorgeous. First there was the Karate kid when you were twelve, theres been footballers in hairbands like Cannigio and Berger, and that one of Ready Steady Cook! Everyone please start wearing hairbands. Pornography! New programme on Channel 4, very interesting in a purely historical kind of way. My friend Becca has a whole set of coasters with all the Pompeii pictures on and I'm quite jealous. If anyone sees them for sale then will you get them for us and I'll pay you back. Susannah xxx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: A big outlook express 5 mess up
by Jason Andreas 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Sorry, but the last 'mail' from me to the list seems to have sent to you all the last message that I recieved in my inbox, something someone was telling me about money problems, I hope that it didn't offend anyone. Sorry :( -- Jason Andreas -- Hailing from Glasgow, city of half a million souls and one million people ICQ: 45821217 +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I saw a dog on wheels today :)
by Jason Andreas 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Just when you think that for the first time in your life you've found a group of people that you can relate to and become friends with, you realise that you can't fucking well do *anything* about it because you're a fucking tink with no money and can't even fucking well afford the fucking bus fare to the place where they're all having a night out. And you're embarassed because every time one of them invites you (about nine, so far) you have to turn around and bastarding well explain for the umpteenth time that you can't fucking afford to have a life because you can't find a fucking job and your family can't/won't help you out in the slightest way and then you realise that the whole of your fucking life has been like this. LIFE IS SHIT! I wish I was fucking dead, but I don't even have the fucking guts! Ach, fuck this. - ME +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I saw a dog on wheels today :)
by Jason Andreas 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Just when you think that for the first time in your life you've found a group of people that you can relate to and become friends with, you realise that you can't fucking well do *anything* about it because you're a fucking tink with no money and can't even fucking well afford the fucking bus fare to the place where they're all having a night out. And you're embarassed because every time one of them invites you (about nine, so far) you have to turn around and bastarding well explain for the umpteenth time that you can't fucking afford to have a life because you can't find a fucking job and your family can't/won't help you out in the slightest way and then you realise that the whole of your fucking life has been like this. LIFE IS SHIT! I wish I was fucking dead, but I don't even have the fucking guts! Ach, fuck this. - ME +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I saw a dog on wheels today :)
by Jason Andreas 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Just when you think that for the first time in your life you've found a group of people that you can relate to and become friends with, you realise that you can't fucking well do *anything* about it because you're a fucking tink with no money and can't even fucking well afford the fucking bus fare to the place where they're all having a night out. And you're embarassed because every time one of them invites you (about nine, so far) you have to turn around and bastarding well explain for the umpteenth time that you can't fucking afford to have a life because you can't find a fucking job and your family can't/won't help you out in the slightest way and then you realise that the whole of your fucking life has been like this. LIFE IS SHIT! I wish I was fucking dead, but I don't even have the fucking guts! Ach, fuck this. -- Jason Andreas -- Hailing from Glasgow, city of half a million souls and one million people ICQ: 45821217 +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Oh, it makes me MMMAD!
by Alasdair Cook MC1996 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Deary me, what an annoying day yesterday. While waiting for a bus I realised that someone had nicked the batteries I was going to put in my walkman from my pocket, along with my chewing gum. This meant that I had to sit on a bus for half an hour without music, which is rubbish in itself. Bloody hell, what a tragic state of affairs I hear you say, surely things cannot get any worse. Well chums, they did. I got to the club where Vic Godard was playing only to find out the bleedin' gig had been cancelled. Bollocks. Then I played pool for the rest of the night, missed my last bus home by literally 20 seconds and had to pay 14 quid for a taxi home. Double bollocks. Anyway, Keith: > and it will feature the DJ-ing "talents" of myself, Claire > Timmins, Mick and Alasdair Cooke (not Alasdair from the list, but Mick (48) > Cooke's Brother). Bloody hell, bet that gave every Glasgow listee a stroke. Keith would have to be barmy to let me and my record collection loose on an unsuspecting public. I mean there'd be no 70s WHO for a start. Mind you, Klur's doing it and she freely admits to being shit, so I suppose anything goes. Steve: > Didn't you just bloody know that we would get England in the Euro 2000 > play-offs?.I mean granted if we qualify at their expense it'll be yay! and > dancing in the streets,but what if THEY win?.(I'll reach for the razor-blades > and end it all).On a more positive note,we could have a sinister > Scotland/England thing...poetry and lyric reciting,singing and dancing rather > than thugs jumping on each other's heads.Imagine. Can't we jump on each other's heads instead, it'd be far more fun. During my trips down to London it's been all I can do to stop myself laying into all those English types with a garden chair and a pitchfork. Perhaps we should all congregate in a pub in Switzerland to watch the games. Do you know in today's Daily Record, the first 8 pages (plus the back 7 pages) are taken up with stuff about the game. Far more important than those silly Scottish fighter pilots who died, who are deservingly on page 9. Juicy: > Just realised that parentheses must be as catchy as crabs because I've > obviously caught brackets off somebody on this list. Better than rickets I > suppose. But you can't catch rickets because it's caused by vitamin > deficiency or something. Vitamin D deficiency to be precise. And vitamin A deficiency causes night-blindness, vitamin B deficiency causes beri beri and vitamin C deficiency causes scurvy. That may be the single most boring thing I've ever said (which is saying something), but I've just realised it's about the only thing I've ever read that I can remember, apart from stuff about football. Martin: > And while on the intercourse theme and the Atlantic divide in its > linguistic reference could someone eleborate on the baseball analogy for > courting*. That is, what exactly has to be done to be on 1st, 2nd, 3rd base > and get a home run*. Let me explain Martin. 1st base: This involves seeing a pretty girl who works in a cafe, bookshop or record store, and frequenting the establishment as much as possible. A form of stalking if you will, only without the need to hide behind lamposts. 2nd base: This involves finding out the girl's name. It might be "Brenda" or "Alison" or even "Moon Unit". 3rd base: This involves touching. Don't get scared now kids, I'm talking about cunningly brushing up against said girl, perhaps while she is serving coffee or rearranging the sale items. Bonus points are scored if you can get her to brush up against your naughty bits. Even more bonus points are scored if you can get her naughty bits to brush against your naughty bits. Home run: This involves talking. Since your mouth will be very dry, it is prudent to carry an emergency flask of ribena as a saliva substitute. This will also mean that you will smell nice, like blackberries. Go up to the girl, say "hello, my name is (insert name). I like you" in a squeaky voice, then run as fast as you can until you get home (hence the term "home run") and never go back into the shop ever again. If you do go back the girl may say that she likes you back, which would be disastrous and could lead to the rubbing of naughty bits WITHOUT CLOTHES. This is too be avoided at all costs as you will inevitably be TOO SMALL and will eventually have to kill yourself. Hope that clarifies things for you Robbo. I'm off to pull loads of birds my passing myself off as Mick Cooke's brother. This'll be too easy. Alasdair xx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Do Not Open This Jealousy-Inducing Email!
by Josh Baze 15 Oct '99

15 Oct '99

Hello everyone, I wanted to share with you the good cd shopping fortune I had last night! For a grand total of $28 dollars (1,215 rupees, or 8,469 drachmas) I picked up: Momus- the little red song book (original!) Hefner- breaking God's heart Exodus Quartet- way out there John Lennon- plastic ono band I'm pretty excited about all this, and thought you all may be able to appreciate it. Did see two copies of Tigermilk (new), and plenty of used Richard Marx. have great weekends, everyone. headphones set to stun- Josh +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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