October 1999 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit but your dog refused to look at it
by The Narrow Wizard 09 Oct '99

09 Oct '99

GAS MEN My dad is a gas engineer and He's really a nice guy honest so please don't say nasty things about them. In fact earlier this year he cycled accross the country for charity so you should say nice things about him really. KERRY'S LIST CRUSH Well Kerry now that you've made a complaint about not getting any votes and pointed out that you have a picture on the site (and a very nice picture it is too) I'm sure that you'll get a lot of votes. Of course if I was cynical I'd say that I always thought it better to give list crush votes to people who write nice posts (and I'm not saying you don't) than to people with sexy pictures, but as I'm not like that I won't say it. THE PASTELS AND KURT COBAIN Somebody was asking about the pastels so whoever it was should mail me and then I can tell you lots of pointless facts about one of my favourite bands. For instance did you know that Stephen Pastel produced the first Vaselines stuff and it was some of Kurt Cobains favourite music hence the cover versions of Molly's Lips and Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam. One of my friends was at a concert once and the support band was Captain America which was Eugene's band after the Vaselines and she was sitting at the back smoking when some guy came up to her and asked for a cigarette, she gave him one (a cigarette that is) and sat talking to him for a while and then she noticed a large group of girls giving her nasty looks so she asked him if he was in one of the bands and he said he was a lead singer and that they were on later. It was only when Nirvana came on that she realised that she'd been talking to Kurt Cobain. B&S CONTENT ermmm sorry I can't think of any right now. Maybe we should go back to recounting all of our "hilarious" lyric mishearings. On second thoughts maybe we shouldn't AND FINALY A quick update on my lovelife just to show that it's going as badly as ever. The girl I'm after has decided that she likes me but that she doesn't want to go out with me because of a couple of other women who like me that I'm not interested in. She seems to think that because I have all these women to choose from (that'd be funny if you'd ever met me) then I'm going to dump her as soon as someone better comes along. Sometimes I don't know why I bother with women. bye now love owen this is owen's signature file and as such will appear at the bottom of all of his mails. If you have a problem with this then feel free to contact him at ol01(a)students.stir.ac.uk or owen(a)belleandsebastian.org +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: This is where my summers have gone, I want a second chance
by Robert Foster 09 Oct '99

09 Oct '99

The BBC's Walking With Dinosaurs has tainted my perception of things. I imagined a hideous deformed being. Uncouth and loud with snarling yellow teeth, long dirty claws and un-polished shoes. I dreaded listening to it gruffly, roughly, murdering a poem about butterflies or flowers or brown paper packages tied with string. This morning my gentle dozing was disturbed by a scratching at my window. I carefully removed the rose petals which had served as a blanket, wrapped my silken gown around my bare shoulders and glided over to the French doors. There, through the clear glass stood a figure of magnificent form and beauty. Surrounded in a golden halo, like a cultured Golden Graham. An enormous wing span tempted me. It was like a giant 65 million year old hug from something cosy. I undid the latch and let it in. Once inside cherubs descended from the painting on the ceiling and began to prepare a breakfast of Strawberries, Mango, Grapes (seedless) and green tea. We took our meal out into the patio to consume under the light of a morning sun. Once sitting we talked for quite a few hours about Keats, Yeats and Marlow. Even some bloke called Murdoch. Anyway, were great friends now. He convinced me to offer something for harvest, so here it is. The Darkling Thrush, Thomas Hardy I leant upon a coppice gate When Frost was spectre-grey, And Winter's dregs made desolate The weakening eye of day. The tangled bine-stems scored the sky Like strings of broken lyres, And all mankind that haunted nigh Had sought their household fries. The land's sharp features seemed to be The Century's corpse outleant, His crypt the cloudy canopy, The wind his death-lament The ancient pulse of germ and birth Was shrunken hard and dry And every sprit upon earth Seemed fervourless as I. At once a voice arouse among The bleak twigs overhead In a full-hearted evensong Of joy illimited; An aged thrush, frail, gaunt and small, In blast-beruffled plume, Had chosen thus to fling his soul Upon the growing gloom So little cause for carolings Of such ecstatic sound Was written on terrestrial things Afar or nigh around, That I could think there trembled through His happy good-night air Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew And I was unaware. I think that it is customary at this point to whisper in the pterodactyl's ear and persuade him who to fly to next. My first choice was Isobel Cambell. But the pterodactyl just laughed. How about GEORGE DICKIE. I said. This made the pterodactyl a bit cross because I shouted in his ear. But sure enough and after he finished his green tea he took to the sky, off to DICKIE acres. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Anyone can fall in love, that's the easy part, but keeping it going..
by shut your maawf you dozy taaart 09 Oct '99

09 Oct '99

in last week's episode robert foster (who seems unhealthily concerned with people's willies) if all goes to plan I could have me a poetry parrot, or that retched dinosaur arse hole. I heard that he's trying to snuff the parrot out so that he can be the new poetry hard man, a sort of gay Dirty Den. -------------------------------------- This week on Ianstenders.... "shut yawr mawf you dozy cawr.......I never lavd ya...I aalways lavd Jan...She was miles classier than yaa'll evver be" Ian slaps Anita Roddick....(should be Anita Dobson but we couldn't get her) around the chops and storms out of the bar. Angie/Anita collapses into a heap on the floor sobbing. Close up of Ian's evil face, staring up at the streetlamps of Oaklands Road and laughing... he mutters the words "stupid cawr..." to himself before climbing into his car and driving off to see his mistress (who is, of course, only masquerading under the name Jan and is really a seven foot Sumo wrestler named Sid) Back to Anita, crawling across the floor of the Queen Mick and sobbing something incoherent about peppermint footwash.. stayed tuned for the next episode.. ---------------------------- Well, I'm trying...I'm even using capitals to dispell that tweeness and enhance my new evil persona.... I must warn you sir, that if you insult my pterodactyl, you insult me, and I am handy with a whip-and-chain.. Well, it seems the pottery pterodactyl was not a resounding success...oh my poor ceramic baby...what have they done to you? nothing, except cast aspersions on your sexuality? And I didn't even give you genitals? Well, that's life kiddo. Sit and ponder the essential thanklessness of it all and recite us a poem: "A Doll's House" A man sat staring at a doll's house Hour after hour and more and more He believed. He could see In the kitchenette two personettes And one of them was standing in the sink And one lay on the floor. The man stared more and more The bed in the bathroom was neatly made up with a Pink eiderdown neatly made up from a Pink ribbon. But noone was in the bed And noone was in the bathroom. Only a horse Was trying the door. The man stared more and more. Then softly the man went in, Edged down Past the creaky banisters, down He crept To the hall, hid nimbly Behind a cow. >From the sink: "My dear, That tractor's on the roof again, I fear." Sadly from the floor "These nights It always seems to be there." Then silence between Personette A and Personette B Now like a matchstick drumming a plastic thimble, Now like the sea. >From the sink; "How I wish, my dear, That you and I could move house. But these matters are not in our hands. Our directives Come from above." Said the floor: "How can we ever move house When the house keeps moving, my love?" A man sat staring at a doll's house Hour after hour and more and more He believed he could see Perspectives of the terrorized world, Delicate, as a new-tooled body, Monstrous, mad as he. Kit Wright. Coo gently, my pottery friend, and think of new tales for us all. Mr Foster, if you want my pterodactyl, you are welcome to borrow. Just don't try and make it do anything unsavoury... oh...one last thing.. megan said >opposition will be listened to, but surely overcome, as the new order of >sebastianites leads the procession into the next battlefield. join to us, >we like thai elephants! and for that, you get my list crush vote...whether you want it or not... Dirty Ian +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I'll only buy a book for the way it looks
by Laura Llew 09 Oct '99

09 Oct '99

Welcome to LauraLand! Please learn and follow the rules while in LauraLand. No running, no yelling, no grumbling, no cutting in line, no jumping, no horseplay. That means you. No breaking things and putting them back like nothing happened. No sad faces, bad attitudes, introspective moments, irritation at the mindless happiness of the masses, and no littering. Is that clear? Our Main Attraction here is Laura Llew's Lovely Literary List of 1999. http://perso.club-internet.fr/jimgrund/litlist.htm (and you thought it was me. ha!) It was so named for egotistical purposes more than anything else. The recommendations from this list was the work of members of this lovely sinister list. Now, there was one suggestion from a non-list member who thought that all of belle and sebastian songs sound alike. But just as the anti-government psycho woodsman who I got stuck up in the mountains of Utah said to me, "Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Even if its blatantly wrong." Please take careful note of the lovely disclaimer at top. I am not held personally accountable for any images/thoughts/ideas that are inflicted in your minds because of these books. However, if you want to talk to me about any of the books feel free to. I have a short synopsis of most of the books (provided by those who recommended them) and have read quite a few of them. It'll be like a second opinion of sorts. I would like to thank everyone who participated and recommended their favorite reads to me. I enjoyed putting together the list immensely and am quite pleased that I had such a good response. I'm quite looking forward to reading all of the suggestions (my new goal). As always, I am thankful that Honey allows me to use this list to beef up my e-mail box and allow me to use this list to compile my own. Very kind of our list mummy indeed. Blake Hamilton was also very encouraging during the early stages of the list with cheers and such. He makes a fabulous cheerleader. Though his legs in that short skirt, leave something to be desired. Like more fabric. hehe. I would especially like to show my utmost gratitude to: **Laura Llew's MVP (Most Valuable Poster)** For that list member whose patience, knowledge, and kindness that knows no bounds. Who has helped tremedously with the list - graciously offering to put the list up on the web. Their name should be at top of the list - not mine. They did a TON of work on this list and has been incredibly patience with my ignorance and my affinity of *tweaking*. Yes, I am eternally thankful for the help of ........................Jan Imgrund............................... I really can't even begin to express how much help he has been. So, I'll stop trying to. So, Wouldn't you like to get away? Give yourself up to the allure of Catcher In The Rye The future's swathed in Stars and Stripes Wouldn't you like to get away? Kerouac's beckoning with open arms, And open roads of eucalyptus Westward Bound............ *Snapped Crackled and P!O!P!P!I!N!G!* I've never met a bat I didn't like... Laura Llew Who (is still disappointed that no one thought to send her the following last week: "Laura's feeling just ideal. Her Horoscope was nearly perfect. She's thinking of something to do because she is the birthday girl." Fit perfectly, eh?) ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Looking Up, he saw that on the contrary, the sky is like the viels of whick a thousand madonnas have let fall from their hair....
by Steve Kado 09 Oct '99

09 Oct '99

Since books are very much an issue around here again i thought this would be an ok time to bring this up (although I'm sure this has come up before). has anyone noticed that there is quite a bit of obsessing over a 'fox in the snow' in the first chapter of 'Orlando' by, perhaps my favourite grown up author, Virginia Woolf (or is it that czec fellow who turns into a beetle...i just can't be sure)? anyway, if no one has noticed this then you should all go and read the first chapter of said book and hopefully you'll read the rest....although after reading the L.L.L.L. it seems that Orlando won't be nearly smutty enough for sinisitrines....henry miller indeed! pah! sk +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: there you are, you're so demure.
by Tigerxdare＠aol.com 09 Oct '99

09 Oct '99

hello darlings, well here i am, on a friday night, i just got home from watching the kids, and ive had a more fun evening than i would have had if i would have went out with any of my friends. i like kids. i mean sure sometimes they arent fun, but for the most part i really love them and cant wait to have my own kid some day. today when i went there, i was upset (am i ever not upset these days?), and i started crying a little bit, so the little three year old tried to comfort me, and he told me that he would beat up whoever made me sad. =)...i have two days with no school and i am just going to stay in the house and sleep and not talk to anyone. my friend called me today and the last time i talked to him he was quite rude. today my dear sinisterees, i have reached my breaking point. no more will i endure other people shite. i don't deserve to be treated bad by anyone, and i refuse to converse with anyone who wont treat me with anything but respect. so he called and said whats up and i proceeded to tell him off and scream and it was liberating. i am buying a new address book for all my telephone numbers and i am burning my old one. i am only going to keep very few numbers. i dont even like most of the people i associate with so the answer is to stop talking to everyone. i will just meet new people but actually if i dont i really dont give a flying fuck. i enjoy being alone and not having to deal with people and their annoying little attitudes. today is the start of a new era, my dears. xoxo, lauren. p.s- i miss you LJ and yes marie, you must buy that secret stars cd but i will still copy it for you plus their other cd called geneologies. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I used to know someone who was babysat by Gary Glitter
by Robert Foster 08 Oct '99

08 Oct '99

Gay Jeremy is still waiting out side in the rain. He's been doing shifts with Stan from The Housemartins. Stan by day, Jeremy by night. We all thought that Jeremy and his pin prick eyes would search the night sky better than Stan and his NHS spectacles. Besides, Stan's glasses have a tint in them and can repel sunlight. Well, I have fought long and hard to get to, wait for it, 194 in the list crush. Quite popular then, no. I can't think what it is. I've changed my pants, have a new hair cut (French Crop) and regulary wear deodorant. And, in the hope that I will be noticed, even walk past the girls changing rooms on the way to PSE, but that doesn't count in my favour. Some of the girls have noticed the string attached to the handle and followed it back to my house. They wrote things on my front door in paint that's really hard to shift and they keep writing me rude letters, I don't mind that but I wish that they'd post them the normal way. Anyway, the main point for mailing. A few days ago, Wednesday to be exact, not too far away from Ladbrook Grove, gulp, I purchased a copy of Illunination by The Pastels. I've currently been looking for it's cover for half an hour but that's besides the point. The thing is, and I know it's list abuse but I've been to their site and all and I must confess I thought they were late teens early twenties, only to discover they were on their 28th album when The Smiths were starting out. I would like to know as much as poss about them, The Pastels. TweeNet wasn't it's usual help full self and their site was vauge. Oh, hang on, I remember that Miss Cambell played something on Illunination, so I suppose it's got something to do with B&S - you have to really want to beleave that one though. If any of you know anything it would be greatly apprieacited, fanks. Rob <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> http://members.tripod.co.uk/wpwe http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Performance/4408 <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Queen of Screech
by ian 08 Oct '99

08 Oct '99

hello... i'm not going to do a funny introduction today, i'm not in the mood.. pj miller and friend were discussing: >>>Yoko Ono: Surely the Queen of Screech has appeared with one of the Lennon >brats at some time or other? -Ah yes. Yoko's most recent albums, entitled "Rising" and "Rising -Remixes" featured Wee Sean's group IMA, which must stand for -something. I thought about buying them at the time, but thankfully I -didn't bother in the end. The remix one has got a twenty or thirty -minute thing tagged on the end. Correct me if I'm wrong. right, mr miller, open wide.. your mouth that is...and stay still while i get my trusty bar of soap.. it seems that it is one of those periodic sticking-up-for-yoko moments... actually, i'm not going to engage in a heated debate on the quality of madam ono's music, or defend her right to scream her way through an album if that's what she wants to do (granted, not one of her most listenable attempts) probably best to stick to specifics.. pj, if you like yoko then these albums are well worth a listen. as with most of her excursions into recording, there are some songs that work and some that don't but when she does hit the nail on the head the results are amazing. having said that, i've never played the thirty minute interactive piece at the end of the mix album. there's a song that precedes it named "franklin summer" where yoko makes noises for twenty minutes, and i've never really got past that. hmm...i'm not doing a very good job of sticking up for her am i? its very late in the day and i should be out there drinking with the other boys and girls instead of inside tapping away at my keyboard. but while i'm here....owen said -The -thing is you can never really understand what I'm trying to say unless -your me, and one thing you can never be is me. I can send you a postcard -but you can't come to visit. If I could write better postcards then you -might get a better view of where I am. It depresses me that I can't as -being useless at expressing myself leads to the sort of misunderstanding -that is documented above. you know owen, i thought your postcard was wonderful. it had the sort of design that i could sit and stare at for hours. perhaps you should keep that analogy and use it the next time you meet mr murdoch... rob: _As far as the list crush goes I now refuse to recognise it's authority. I deny it. I am a _fugitive from its dominion. See? Knackers to it. right on, comrade....we don't need no popularity contest. we are sure enough of ourselves and our own identities, and we don't require them to be reified by a computerised poll... sour grapes? me? of course not.. alasdair reveals excellent taste: _Songs with speaking in them. I really like the end of Suede's 'Stay _Together', in fact it's one of my favourite endings to a song because of _the general chaos, which the speaking enhances amen to that, brother (oh, sorry, i was momentarily possessed by the soul of a gospel singer)....i especially like the whale noises at the end of the extended version... perhaps i should stop there. i've gone into "agreeing with people" mode and that's usually a sign that my creativity's gone down the pub. i'll go and stare at the wall for a bit instead ian "sort of like a gay dirty den, really"...apparently.. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: goin' out to the Glasgow junglist massive
by Ketan Shankardass 08 Oct '99

08 Oct '99

with the sun being out and the trees changing colour, i must proclaim: "it was a lovely day in south western ontario". anyways, the following is a request that has nothing to do about b&s but alas...i am not a member of any Glaswegian listserve...i thought that this would be a good place to ask instead... i am seriously considering doing a Masters in public health at U of Glasgow next year and i was wondering if anyone out there has any experience or insight into the matter...please respond to my email address and not the list...kshank(a)interlynx.net good night...god bless...sweet dreams...tweety birds... (i used to say that as fast as i could to every member of my family before bedtime when i was wee.) ketan +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: a note of thanks
by kerry 08 Oct '99

08 Oct '99

So i just thought i'd post to thank the anonymous stranger who sent me a cute little post card. i would have saved you all a little time and written him/her personally, but he/she sent it with a fake address. so thank you, mysterious stranger, it did indeed put a smile on my face. and thank you to whomever it was that suggested my name on the list crush site, even if it was only to get me to shut up about it (ha! your plan didn't work! i'm still talking about it!). okay. i hope honey doesn't yell at me about sending such a short and belleandsebastianless post. -kerry "sustained by special providence, i am fighting for dear life against that demonic rice-cake." -Soseki Natsume, _i am a cat_ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister(a)majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo(a)majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

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