August 2001 - Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: so long and thanks for all the fish
by the narrow wizard 28 Aug '01

28 Aug '01

well folks its a sad day for me and a happy one for you sinister people cos this is my last post I finish uni on friday and so goes my internet access just noticed something the above sections have three lines each this is just a modern haiku be free with your sylables with your lines be three wanted to say thanks to you all for everything thanks for the laughs the serious stuff and the arguments thanks for the friendships the kisses and the crushes you guys have been great and I've been so so and now I must go love and hugs Owen and remember so much depends on the red wheelbarrow with that the narrow wizard waggled his bushy eyebrows and exploded messily all over the place leaving behind a nasty stain +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: the state the toilet is in
by Miss Marianna Longmire 28 Aug '01

28 Aug '01

greetings y'all for those who haven't read it, there was a little something written about Struan in TIme Out last week. -- CELEB SQUATTING What the bogs of the rich and famous are really like: Stuart Murdoch 'It's a bit of a mess, frankly. I notices what looked like a tube of Canestan on the side of the bath. Or mayby it was KY Jelly. Quite disappointing.' -- Other celeb thunderboxes mentioned included: Uri Geller, Michael Jackson. Colin Greenwood and Gary Barlow. Rock and (toilet) roll. In other news, I was at Reading on the weekend and it was the tits. Mercury Rev blew my mind and I danced like I was 15 again when Teenage Fanclub were on. Woo! I also spotted 3 Ampersand t-shirts and 1 I Love My Car t-shirt. Obviously they were being worn by people, they weren't just boogieing by themselves. I wanted to go up and say hi, but didn't. I just smiled stupidly instead. x Marianna _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: new order gig and london roundabout:)
by Rebecka popgirl 28 Aug '01

28 Aug '01

hey darlings anyone going to the new order gig on the 12th of october?? I must go as I happen to be in london that time..i am going over to uk on the 3rd october nad home on the 2oth most of the time i'll be in canterbury but the rest in lovely london dates 3rd to 7th and 12th to 14th..yeaaay:) anyone like to meet up? know ehre to go? to crash? and mostly anyone going to either lucksmiths or new order gig?? will the tikcets sell out can someone purcase one for me and they'll get the money later?? :) hugs becka in sweden http://hem.passagen.se/beckygirl _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: the case of the runaway thread- cliffhanger
by idleberry 28 Aug '01

28 Aug '01

as comaboy sat waiting for a miracle, idles was brushing herself down. She'd woken up to find herself in a gutter, and couldn't quite remember how she'd got there. She was somewhere on the edge of town, her head felt dizzy and her arm stung with the dull throbbing pain like someone had given her a dead arm and then she'd fallen on it. She looked around. There was nobody to be seen. Just the orange hue of the street lights fuzzing above her, and the scent of stale perfume coming out from the Picnic Brothel. There was a poster up in one of the windows. Tonight was caberet night, and Johnjohn was performing with his golden feather boa, teasing the locals and batting his eyelashes at anyone who entered. It was a leathal combination, sure to drive any Sinisterian mad with lust. And boy, did johnjohn know it. Idleberry stood up, staggered and fell back down again. Something wasn't right here, and it wasn't that she'd spent the time asleep in the gutter. No. Idles was used to that. There was something else, some other mysterious forces at play. There was only one thing for it.... Idles got back to her apartment. The clock on the wall said half past four, but you know, she wasn't quite sure if it was, or if it was just the fact that Jarvis Cocker was crooning downstairs in the local restuarant, Salt Cellar, run by Will Salt. She picked up the reciever of the phone. She had some serious phonecalls to make. She didn't want to look like a fool, not being able to solve this case, she had to find someone to blame, and fast. Afterall, it was her duty, and her responsibility, and its all very well to end up with wet leaves on your face from a night in the gutter, but egg really wasn't her thing. She had a reputation to uphold. She made the phonecalls, and quickly nipped into her wardrrobe to get changed. Minutes later, she was standing n front of the mirror, wearing blue shorts, a red basque top and a gold headband and sweatbands round her wrists. "Oops" she though "wrong costume". She quickly nipped in again, til she found her tweed skirt and jacket, and a pale cream blouse, and her sensible shoes. "There" she thought to herself "Not wonderwoman, Miss Marple." She waited til those who she had summoned to the room arrived, and sat in a most unlady like fashion, drinking ribena straight from the bottle. She tried to recollect what had happened the night before.... *********** idles had found herself outside Alistair Cooks newstand, where he and a young lad had been selling the papes. "Read all abaaat it!" they had screamed, in mockney accents. Idles had paid for a paper, and picked up a copy. At that moment, Stuart Murdoch crept up behind her and put his hands over her eyes. "Guess who?" he had said. Idles knew who those sticky palms belonged to. It had to be Murdoch. She only wished he'd actually wash his hands a little more often. They had ended up, inevitably, back at his bacholor pad, which was indeed pretty cool, all done up with little remote controls for everything, in a sort of sixties way. She sat listening to him, getting him more and more drunk on Ribena and plying him with chupa chups, trying to get the truth out of him. If he knew what the truth was. But Murdoch was a hardman. A hard core West coaster. And he could handle his ribena well. Idles had forgotten that. She forgot what a light weight and cheap date she was. ******************** That was all she could recall. She was a little dissapointed that she'd ended up in the gutter, but was sure it wasn't Murdoch who had put her there... no... ***************** She recalled a knock at the door, shortly before she passed out. Murdoch had answered it in his Hugh Hefner smoking jacket.. and been over powered by a rather spooky pizzaboy that looked exactly like..... ************ Idles sat down. They were all here. Murdoch, V bird, The Narrow Wizard, Sunset, Timothy Meskers, The Ugly Gardiner dame, Photojenni, Robin Stout, and comaboy. "I've gathered you all here, becuase I know who started the runaway thread" started Idles. "Do you?" asked Sunset. "Not really, but I have a air idea of who to blame, and watch them panic and see if it really is them" whispered idles back to her. ************************* Who dunnit? who was it and why? And was it in the library with the pistol? find out in the final concluding installment of "The Case of The runaway Thread"!!! ===== http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/corduroysmoke and the world did get covered in a thick haze of corduroy smoke. And it felt good. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Make international calls for as low as $.04/minute with Yahoo! Messenger http://phonecard.yahoo.com/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: oh dear
by Kirsten Kenyon 28 Aug '01

28 Aug '01

Tonight I was drunk and out for a cup of coffee, and not five minutes after had I settled down with my sketchbook, a little high- school girl rushed over to my table. "Hi, my name is Katie," she said and smiled. I looked up from my book and eyed the girl, a skinny blonde with hollow cheeks and red- rimmed green eyes. She leaned forward expectantly. "Hello, Katie." I looked back to my book. I had lots of work to do... "Well?" "Well, what?" "Well, aren't you going to tell me your name?" I held back a sigh and closed my book. It was obvious I had no hope of escaping quietly. "It's Kirsten," I said. She kept looking at me intently, and I didn't know what to do so I looked back. The girl was beginning to make me nervous, so I took a long, deliberate sip of my coffee and looked with longing at my sketchbook, which was sitting seductively in front of me on the table. Katie said nothing, so I thought maybe she had only wanted to introduce herself...but then I wouldn't have minded if she'd left me alone. I slowly reached for my book and started to open it again. "Kirsten?" Shut the book. "Yes?" "I have always wanted to be like you." My head snapped up, despite my best efforts. It's not often, after all, that a pretty teenage girl wants to "be like" a sad-looking drunken twenty-year-old person sitting alone at Webb's in the middle of the night. I stared at her. "I saw you coming in from the lot, and watched you walk in the door with your little book and go quietly to this table where we're sitting now...you don't mind if I sit?" I shook my head, and Katie sat. "Thank you. Now I've only been observing you for five, maybe seven minutes, but I can already tell...may I look at your sketchbook?" Nobody gets to look at my sketchbook. I nodded slowly and pushed the book across the table with one finger. Katie lit a cigarette. I did the same, and we both sat silently and smoked while she carefully studied each of my drawings, even the terrible contour-line bits I had to do for a class once. I finished my coffee and was trying to devise a polite way to leave when Katie, without looking up from my book, quickly waved her hand over her shoulder and said "Jim." Jim hurried over and refilled our mugs before I could stop him. I didn't want any more, but I couldn't just let it sit there. After a few more minutes, Katie nodded with what looked like satisfaction, loudly closed my book and settled back in her chair. She lit another cigarette and puffed on it for a bit. "They're quite good, you know." She tapped the book and a bit of ash fell onto the cover. I stared at the ash, wanting desperately to brush it off but somehow unable to move. "Thank you," I nearly whispered. I couldn't take my eyes from the piece of ash. "The ones of naked people are especially good. Accurate. You must have seen a lot of naked people over the years." Her eyes twinkled obnoxiously. "I...I suppose," I stammered. "I mean, in...in movies and stuff." Katie giggled. "In movies, yes." And what to say now? I didn't know why I'd said that about movies, as it was a big fat lie. The only sorts of movies I usually watch show the occasional asscheek, or maybe a breast here and there. I dearly hoped Katie was through discussing naked people. "So Kirsten, I really would love to be like you." Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to talk to Katie about naked people. But I didn't say anything. Jim refilled the mugs again. "You go to the university, then?" "No, not anymore." I bit my lip. "It was boring?" "Yes, you could say that." "Lovely." Katie grinned. "That is perfect." She blew a smoke ring. "Perfect," she said again. "If you say so..." Katie was looking down now, scribbling on a napkin. "Here," she said, handing me her phone number. "You really should call sometime. I have quite a few questions for you...but now I've got to go...school starts tomorrow." She winked and rushed off, leaving her cup of coffee steaming on the table. All I could do was sit wondering if she'd just been fucking with me, and marvelling at the fact that i had just been intimidated by a girl who looked like an Olsen twin. Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: made-up dreams
by Blake 28 Aug '01

28 Aug '01

hi, this isn't a good night. i'm just, well, sad. the causes of my sorrows are long and boring, but the most recent one occurring last week when i turned 21. i feel so old. i was more depressed than happy on my birthday. i sometimes think my parents should have explained to me, when i was younger, that things grow old, things die, and things go away. one of my best friends from long ago died in a car crash last month, and my brother in law died too. i just wish someone would have told me that there are things that are so sad and so painful. i guess it's because my parents don't have any answers. they're dealing with it too. hm. i'm a senior now (at wake forest university...i'm still waiting for another wake person to be on this list..sigh) and i look at the freshmen and think how incredibly puerile they all look. it's laughable. i find myself saying things like "when i was your age" and "back when i was __, i did __". now i know what many of you may be thinking..."i'm 27. don't tell me about being old". i've always thought i was somewhat accelerated in this emotional development department. as in, i think i'm going through coupland's mid-20s crisis now. yep, a little early. other than that, i think i'm in love with audrey hepburn. this is a good crush for me because i don't think audrey will ever turn me down. of course, she's just a photo or a frame, so that's not much to comfort. and with that, i must retire. love blake the nerdy shy eyed pacifist http://members.tripod.com/nucleartrout aol IM: fatelwood (if anyone wants to discuss audrey hepburn movies...i'm such a sucker) +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: my little lamb keeps it's pants on
by Dylan Gordon 28 Aug '01

28 Aug '01

Hey All, I figured maybe since I'm up out of the nursery I should write something. Actually, it was that last message about how puddle-wonderful this list and everyone on it is that made me think I should write something. Can't miss out on that! Does anyone else love e.e. cummings? I think he's the real lyrical genius behind Belle and Sebastian, dead or not. I just woke up from my three-hour post 'they were supposed to show my house so I sat around in the park for 45 minutes' nap. I'm reading Richard Ford's Independence Day, the 1/3 after the first 1/4, which consists mostly of whining about the 'Existence Period' (see 40 - 50 year-oldish angst about the meaningless of post-divorce, post-self-anihilation life). The major thrust in this seems to be the search for something to pass the time with, but I think I've got it at the ripe age of 21. Sleep. Plenty of it. And a daily obsession with how I'm going to start a new career soon, but just how I'm going to, not actually doing to. The only reason I can even do is that I worked in computers for a long time and made a little bit of money and can spend at least a few months doing absolutely nothing but spending it, after which I'm sure I'll feel like a huge waste and wish I had all of that time and money back, but for the moment in the middle of it it's going OK. I think it's all the listening to Belle and Sebastian and going to concerts and thinking I'm an indie kid when I couldn't possibly be because I can't spend more than 45 minutes in an independent record store without going nutso watching vinyl fanaticism that inevitably ends in someone picking up some total tripe they think is cool but really shows their inate lack of taste. Oh oh. Maybe I am an indie kid (You'll have to give me some time, I can't work in list-fodder smoothly and with the obvious, dripping sarcasm required for the 'net yet). Anyway, the point is other people's melancholies give me something to be pissy about part of the time and it's keeping me alive with only 12 hours sleep per day. Umm. Now something so I don't give everyone the immediate impression I'm some weird guy-bitch, because I'm really, really not, I'm actually really nice and lovely and cuddable, but not twee at all like Isobel. Just cuddable. But Isobel is my wallpaper anyway. Let's see. . .I wish I had pink bedsheets. I went shopping for sheets and covers and shams and all that stuff a few weeks ago, because I really do need some new ones, and saw these lovely stripey pink bedsheets that I just totally must have for when pink makes its big comeback and takes the fashion world by storm so that I'm so hip it even makes me want to cry because I wish I was more like me. But then I got to thinking that I'm going to need to paint to do that, to make the illusion complete y'know, and then I'm moving soon, and maybe I want a loft, and it would have to be _all_ pink and I'd need new accessories! And it snowballed from there until I even put back the towels I picked out because of bathroom-decor angst and I'm stuck towel-low and sheet-less, crying in my backdoor and waiting for the garbage man to take me to the dump. Not really. But I'm sure you know the feeling, ahaha. And now my nap-delusion is wearing thin and I'm really not feeling terribly sparky and creative, plus I have all these unattended social engagements I've been shirking _just_ to write this email (well, 10 minutes worth of one of them anyway, plus the 60 I saved up napping). So I'm going to sign off and wait for my t-shirt to come in the mail and hope that everyone has something marvellously witty and amusing to say so when I end up back here at home in 4 or 6 or 8 hours as the sun comes up I can chuckle and go to bed a happy man. Yrs, dg +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Slightly mushy,cheesey love story
by DansonHatcher＠aol.com 27 Aug '01

27 Aug '01

Modern tecnology, eh! I've alway's thought of the internet as the future but I was in no rush to get on it myself, "not really my thing" I must have said a hundred times and so when we happened upon this computor last year I thought little of it really until I found this list. The friend's I've made are the people I never really beleived I'd find and it show's that I'm not just odd, I don't mean sinister is odd I just mean that when you are the only person like you then you feel odd and so you try to combat the lonelyness by being someone else, someone that fit's in to the generally accepted lifestyle of the average 18 year old. Funny really how I came to be here mind. I, like many people had never heard of B&S until Legal man was on top of the pop's and I liked it alot but then it went away and I was doing other stuff so . Then about five month's ago after work I'm running up the stair's of Virgin megastore, the Word's Belle and Sebastian just stood out, like 20 yard's away and I had a quick look and bought it. Right now, I genuinely rate picking up Tigermilk as one of the best thing's I've ever done for all the pleasure that first Album gave me and for the people I've met since due to Sinister. I love you all as much as Stella Artois. James. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Lions, and tickets, and Llew... oh my.
by William Harris 27 Aug '01

27 Aug '01

Comrades, Having seen that another fellow lurker (Colin) had broken his self-imposed silence, I decided to follow suit and come off my pub stool and (re)introduce myself. Hello. Pleased to meet me*... oh. Uh. This isn't going so well is it? (Ms. Llaura Llew, please take notes here: is this sort of discomfort that makes one indie? I'll take it since my wardrobe fails miserably at that task). But down to business before I lose my entire audience. I *may* have an extra ticket to the Seattle show... ehem... (is this list abuse? sorry Honey) The extra I had bought was intended for a potential date, but as a select few on this list know, my attempt to emulate Dr. No failed miserably and said date ended up down the gullet of a shark. (A warning: do not take 1st dates into shark infested waters no matter what the "locals" say about their dining habits.) After having wrestled the shark onto the beach and then having performed an intricate procedure better left to your imagination to free said date from the shark's tummy, it was too late. Digestive juices and all that. I seem to have strayed off my original point. If anyone out there is interested, you can email me *off* this list and let me know if you'd like the have access to the ticket. Cute girls are encouraged to apply. I will inform the lucky winner some time in the next week or so (it'll be doled out on a first come, first served basis which sounds vaguely sexual but really isn't). I should also make it clear that I am only looking for the list price of the ticket. No profiteering on the beloved Belles here. Speaking of beloved, I am rapidly falling into serious swoonage for the adorable and pensive Gillian Welch. Her new album "Time (The Revelator)" is an absolute masterpiece. Yes. Masterpiece. Though a word of warning; it isn't indie or twee. That being said, however, I suspect fans of Nick Drake (circa "Pink Moon") might appreciate it. Buy it. Or don't. I will have the thrill of seeing her perform and spin yarns on Tuesday night. Yummy. In closing, I must say to Llew that not all Will's are terrible. Some of us are just terribly confused. Oh and shout out's to my homegrrrl Jerkgirl Jen who is busily slaving away in miserable conditions in a sullen record store. Please take a moment to remember those less fortunate in your prayers/thoughts/meditations/slack-jawed reverie. Thank all you for enduring my awkward rebirth into sinister. Hasta luego, The Other Will Harris (this is similar to, but not quite like, The Other White Meat) *Whatever happened to the big ball of love that were The Replacements? I refuse to say Ken Chu. Whoops. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: The forest whispers my name
by Dimitra 27 Aug '01

27 Aug '01

I started writing this in the afternoon. I'll probably finish it just before dawn, it takes me hours to write something, to make it look like what I feel. It was a wearily hot and sunny afternoon, like all the others before it in the last four months. Summer here is endless... I started writing : "In June 1999 I was eighteen, and breaking up for the first time" -and that's were I stopped. What I wanted to say is: It wasn't the kind of a break-up that's the-end-you-can-see-coming-but-avoid-until-there's-nothing-you-can-do, or one that comes after slowly falling out of love... It was an end I felt like I had to put after I discovered he was feeling bored, but it was a sudden discovery: he was slightly bored for a month, then quite obviously bored for a week and that's when I decided I should give up, although I can assure you I was pretty much in love. To that day, I still think that was all I could do. So, I remember lying on my bed in my parents house the first noon after the last night with him, staring at the wall and the light coming through the window, feeling brave but sad and also trapped in my life with nowhere to go, and amazed of how quickly it all happened... When I noticed that on the wall, it read "All Farewells Should Be Sudden". It's not a magical wall, I had written it, but that was twenty-two months before and seemed like it was in another lifetime, when I still went to school, had never been in love and actually liked the Verve. Also a lifetime when I scrambled things on my bedroom walls with coloured chalks. This one was brown. It's supposed to be a Verve single or something, which I have never seen or listened to, I had just seen the a photo of the cover inside the sleeve of Urban Hymns and liked the way it sounded and felt. I felt....I felt a million things at once...surprised...but mostly, I felt alive and thrilled...it didn't make me feel less sad -actually it made me feel more sad- but at the same time I felt full of strength, ready to get up and walk to the edge of the world if I had to.... I didn't have to, and that's probably the worst thing about it, all I could do was lie down until most of the excitement went away -most, but not all, there was a little part that stayed with me and helped me with my life from then on. I still have it. When I sat down to write this again, it was windy, there was a sweet naughty south wind which made everything seem better. It was a promise of things changing -mainly of autumn coming. I always get excited when seasons change. It's something else that makes me feel alive too. When I started this paragraph I went outside to see if it was still windy. And I found out it was raining! It's more of a shower actually, but it's uplifting nevertheless. It's even more of a change, and also it's magical. I live on the fourth floor and from the balcony I could see the street shining wet under the orange lights and the moon behind the clouds, which was orange too. If you have never stayed in a greek city you probably can't imagine how it feels, cause I think nowhere else buildings are that ugly or nights that sweet. Nowhere I have been to at least. I will continue something Will started. Your life might not be wonderful, but it should be filled with moments like these, with things that make you feel alive, or with songs that make you feel alive. Or at least it can be, believe me. I'm sorry, I can't come up with something better of a description than "feeling alive"...or, rather...my brother said the other day: "the forest whispers my name". You can insert whatever you want instead of forest, but I think it's a good for saying alive, thrilled, and feeling that you belong somewhere, even if it is in this insane world. As I wrote to someone the other day, I love the list, some days it gives me reasons to live for. It gives me moments like these. Like, reading that Richard -when he wasn't Richard but a random stranger- found a piece of paper under his bed which read "I want to be the hero of my own life". The poem Madeleine posted. Will's post, of course. Ken's last post, too. The "It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes strength to be gentle and kind" line repeated, and the stories about it. The quote James Glimmer ends his posts with. The way john john uses words. The way people use sinister related things in the case of a runaway thread story. Kirsten mentioned wanting to be somewhere else rather than where you are. I miss Scotland. Usually, I wish for Scotland rain, not just any rain. Because that's a place where I could have friends. Love,and keep the faith, Dimitra. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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