September 2001 - Sinister

Sinister: helo, WTO stuff, the strokes, B&S, simon & garfunkel, marrige, Hawaii
by Lawrence Mikkelsen 22 Sep '01

22 Sep '01

'lo folks well, it looks like the fallout from the WTO bombing has fallen off enough now for me to post without offending anyone sensibilities. It's been a strange last few weeks. one of my friends in London has been holed up in his flat since the 11th, not leave apart from work (close by), waiting for the bombs to start falling. I really can't see America committing to a land war. My Dad was in Vietnam, and I've talked to him and a bunch of his friends in the US, and they all say land war in Afghanistan will make Vietnam look like a picnic. Dubya may be at the height of his popularity now, but once American kids start coming home in body bags it's be another story. damn .... I mentioned it, in the course of not mentioning it. anyway, onto the post proper. ***THE STROKES*** I must be the only person in the world to think that The Strokes are actually kinda shit. Am I? Am I? Back me up. I am convinced that the whole thing is actually a bit of a joke on the NME's past. NME hack #1: "Remember how we got everyone to like Gay Dad for a few moments back in '99, and then we destroyed them buy turning on them like the feral dogs we are" NME hack #2: "huh huh huh ...." NME hack #1: "lets find a band who haven't even released a single yet and see if we can convince people they're THE NEXT BIG THING". OK, so they're not terrible ... rather them than NSYNC. But .... a) they have no b-sides. every track on their first two singles was on their album. So if you've got the two singles you're essential buying 5 or 6 news songs. Which, from a 33 minute album, sucks. b) that guy Casanova has a crap hairstyle. c) people are comparing them to my beloved Television. THERE ARE TELEVISION GUITAR SOLOS WHICH ARE LONGER THAN THE ENTIRE STROKES ALBUM. Virtuoso musicians these people ain't. OK ... rant over. ***STUFF ABOUT B&S*** (Katrina & Neil, please read .....) amazon.co.uk is listing "Storytelling" (presumably the soundtrack) on their site as an import/pre-order. But only a US version. It's supposed to be coming out on November 17th. Is there a tracklisting yet. Is the album ALL B&S stuff,or is the CD split with the music of the guy who wrote the other half of the score? Is it purely instrumental music, or are there songs too? Also, according to the amazon.co.uk site, the US release date for "Season Has Arrived" is a lot earlier than the US release. Is this true, or a glitch? Damn, I'm so excited about this whole new B&S thing ...... ***SIMON & GARFUNKEL*** ... are fantastic. I shelled out for the newly remastered versions of their albums a few weeks ago. Really fantastic band .... so underrated in the 60s cannon. Everyone on this list should rush out and buy "Bookends", knowing how impeccable my taste is, and wishing to emulate me. no really, c'mon guys ........ ***GOIN' TO THE CHAPEL AND I'M GONNA GET MARRIED ....*** I tie the knot in just under two months now. I am both excited and filled with fear. Also, I'm supposed to be going to Hawaii for my honeymoon, and a) America may be at war b) NZ's national airline is about to go bankrupt. bollocks. ***HAWAII*** Are there any sinister listees in Hawaii? Specifically in Waikiki (or nearby)? On the off-chance, mail me, and I'll buy you a drink or a coffee or something, and you and I can meet up and bore Vanessa, my new wife, with talk of pop music. OK, I'm out for breakfast ..... Lawrence +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: the loneliness of a 3rd year student
by Spangle79＠aol.com 22 Sep '01

22 Sep '01

Hello! this is my first post and probably blatant list abuse but i thought it was worth a try! are there any lovely b&s fans out there that need a room in Leeds for the year? i'm kinda desperate for a flatmate as the Californian girl i was supposed to be sharing with was advised to go back to the U.S. after terrorist attacks. 2 of her family are in the army and a distant relative was killed, so she wanted to be with her family. if anyone is even slightly interested please e-mail me at Spangle79(a)aol.com thanks! sorry about the shortness and lack of anything interesting to say! love Angela* xxx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: photographic evidence of an embra picnic
by Robert Brennan 22 Sep '01

22 Sep '01

Just a quickie to let you know that a selection of photos from the Sept 15th pic-a-nic are now online at... http://robster75.tripod.com/sinister.html Click now to get your daily fix of Ken and play spot-the-wasp. Robster See more nice pictures at http://robster75.tripod.com ____________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.co.uk address at http://mail.yahoo.co.uk or your free @yahoo.ie address at http://mail.yahoo.ie +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: The season has arrived
by Ken Chu 22 Sep '01

22 Sep '01

Hello, Another autumn is here. Time to pack up the short-sleeved T-shirts, the sunglasses, the beachballs, and start another 9 months of seriousness. For me personally, anyway, autumn has always been the time when the fun ends, when I start going back to school. This year has been slightly different, I have finished university, and had the best summer of my life, every summer seem to get slightly better, I don't know if it is because I got older and learnt how to live life better? Or that I just have a rubbish memory and have forgotten about what brilliant times I had say on my summer of 92. It doesn't matter tho, because as far as I remember this summer had been the best. The reason? I can't really say, maybe it's because I have a new status in life, having finished university, and now in the exciting (yeah) stage of job hunting (whilst having a somewhat unrewarding temporary job), or maybe because I have more friends than I ever did before, maybe because I know a lot more things than before, I'm more confident than before, I don't know. What will next summer bring? Who knows, there are promises of great things coming, really, great things, I really hope they do come, I really do. I'm getting hungry for great things, really hungry. Maybe, even one day, my life will just become a long summer, and I can just drive around, reenacting scenes from movies, having breakfast at greasy cafes, then checks into a motel, looking into the night sky through a window with a cigarette in my hand (not lit, tho, I don't smoke..), and ponders about whether this summer was the best summer of my life, and probably still babbling to sinister. Right now tho, it's just longing. Warm grass and Red Bulls Ken +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: THE STROKES
by JASON A. 22 Sep '01

22 Sep '01

I dont know if anyone has been listening to the band the STROKES, but they are the best band in the world right now other than B&S of course. They are playing at the Filmore in san Francisco soon. If you get a chance check em out. Does anyone know if B&S are stuck in the states??? jason. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Crazy "Beautiful"
by Rachel 22 Sep '01

22 Sep '01

Hello Sinister!! I have just read some entertaining posts, sitting here lazily clicking through them whilst at work. I must say that Rinaldo's story about Brian Wilson and his digestive tract has set me up for the weekend, I'm laughing so hard!! Jim's post about the meaning behind Belle & Sebastian's songs and how they are not very "twee" is really my reason for posting... "Beautiful" is really a crushing song to me because it reminds me of one night a couple of years ago when I was visiting my friend Kyle in Texas (the first person to introduce me to B&S! If Kyle is reading this, he needs to e-mail me!), and we had been up all night drinking... if you've been in Texas in June then you know how oppressive the heat is, even in the early morning hours...(It's EVEN WORSE than it is here in the Los Angeles area!) I was laying there trying to locate the ceiling, lightly tinged with the shadow through the window shade from the lightening sky outside.("watching the colours change" if you will...) We had a fan on in the room turned up really high so it felt really cool and breezy... And we listened to B&S really loud... it soaked into every pore in my body and resounded into my bones. I remember how hot the tears that welled up in my eyes felt as I listened to the lyrics and thought about how much I loved Kyle and yet he just lay there unresponsive, with his back to me, wrapped in a sheet... and I knew I'd never have him cos he didn't feel the same about me. The part at the very end where it's all distant and metallic sounding is the clincher for me, Stuart sang to me right then "...and everyone she knew thought she was beautiful, only slightly mental..." Shortly after that I started taking the anti-depressant medication, Zoloft. (not because of Stuart singing to me, but because I needed to!) I don't like telling many people about it, but I guess I can tell you lot because it has to do with the song! (Colin, this will sound familiar!) Zoloft creates this buffer so that I don't dwell on things so much, so I don't go hysterical at any random moment, so I can stop being OBSESSED, and not spend all of my money following Suede!! This is a good thing. But it also makes it so I feel flat, like I can't get very excited about things, the emotion is just buried. But the lyrics to "Beautiful" have great personal meaning to me in this context. "The doctor told her years ago that she was ill/the doctor told her years ago to take a pill/the doctor told her years ago that she'd go blind if she wasn't careful" and the doctor told me that I was having a severe depressive episode and that I should take this pill, but if I wasn't careful I could "go blind" because I won't know how to deal with life without it. "she made herself a pair of orthopedic shoes/she thought it was the answer to the fashion blues/ ...now she walks with a limp" That's me, I took the drug. I thought it was the answer to my "she's in fashion" blues. and I wasn't careful... I've tried to go off of it twice but now when I try, I feel out of control without it and I am a wreck. I am not used to feelings at maximum strength. "They let Lisa go blind/the world was at her feet and she was looking down" is how my friends and family treat me...they are relieved that I am not so irratic and irrational anymore, they "let Lisa go blind" by letting me stay on this drug that is supressing my personality because they don't know what it feels like to be this way. They don't care as long as I am easy to live with. The world is at my feet and I AM looking down, I'm feeling broken and weak for being addicted to this drug "but everyone she knew thought she was beautiful, only slightly mental, beautiful, only tempermental" most people have no idea that I have to be medicated to function properly anymore, I look great from the outside, just a "slightly mental" and "tempermental" artist type. "she thought it would be fun to try most anything, she was tired of sleeping" that's how I feel about wanting real passion in my life again, I am tired of being suppressed. But anyway, sorry to keep going on and on about it... Just a footnote, I plan to get switched to another anti-depressant that is not so severe, so maybe I'll have to find a different B&S song to relate to my life, or just think of "Beautiful" in a different context! Now you all are probably going to want to refer to me as "Crazy Rachel" in your posts instead of "Rachel Smartly Dressed" (you're a cutie, Brier!) Not to be confused with "Rachel Cornflake" or just-returning-home Rachel we all know and love as "archel" Welcome Home! !Viva Rachels! !Viva Sinister! Love to you all! Love, Rachie __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get email alerts & NEW webcam video instant messaging with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Ringtones?
by Brier Random 22 Sep '01

22 Sep '01

Since the Sinister Archive is currently down, and since your Brier just today sold out and got a cell phone, could anyone be kind enough to supply some ring-tones for my Nokia, and a short tutorial about installing such tones? Off list, if you please! Thanks all. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: What's it all mean?
by JAMES GILMER 21 Sep '01

21 Sep '01

Hello Sinister kids, With all the madness going on, and the fact that the country seems to have crawled up its own arse, I thought a little discussion of *gasp!* Belle and Sebastian was in order. I'm finally settling back in after returning from my trek out west with a fellow Sinister person. When you're stuck in a car with someone while driving across the states and your MP3 player batteries go dead there's only one thing to do; talk. So after discussing the Ethical Structure of the Universe and The Meaning of Life, talk naturally turned to everyone's favourite band...but enough about N'SYNC...no, no I'm just kidding. The band in question was of course Belle and Sebastian. Between the many talks about the menaings behind certain songs, and the identities and tracking of the different characters (Mary Jo, Judy, Lisa, etc) the word TWEE was mentioned. This drew a bit of a reaction from me. I don't think Belle and Sebastian are TWEE at all, at least, I don't think their songs are very twee. Why? Here's my answer as I said it somewhere on the plains of Wyoming: "How the heck are songs about rape, depression, sexual abuse, and suicide TWEE?" Because, I think, there's a bit of a dismissal of the songs by calling them twee, as if they were lighthearted, childish things (obviously, not are their songs are about *bad things*, but for this discussion I'm looking at the unhappy ones). Let me give a few examples: "Rhoda" - With her freckles and SCARS on her arms (self-mutilation? Suicide attempt?) and use of medications to calm her down. "Expectations" - Oy, not exactly a happy song is it? "We Ruled the School" - 'Why did she do it was she scared, was she pushed?' - I always thought this was a song about a girl's suicide, and at the very least it isn't a very happy song, is it? "Mary Jo" - Sounds like a bit happier song, until you realize the singer is pissed it's all in Mary jo's head. "She's Losing it" - Abused girl The fast version; String Bean Jean sounds like she has an eating disorder, Lazy Jane isn't happy and is having lots of sex looking for love (Jane's not a prostitute, she knows someone who is though), 'Slow Graphetti's about a guy this time, and an unhappy one at that, and there are plenty of other songs with male protags in pain. I could go on, but I won't. That isn't to say these aren't happy songs, I love them and they rarely depress me at all, but I wouldn't call them twee just because they have some strings and flutes in them. I remember talking to someone who was so shocked at 'Chalet Lines' and I think the reason some were shocked by that song was that they didn't realize that Stuart's been singing about the same things since he started out. With Chalet Lines the language was clear enough and the story direct enough that it wasn't cloaked inside the verses and double meanings. I don't think Stuart's twee at all, I think he's doing what any good writer (songwriter or otherwise) should do, he's reporting on the world around him and what he sees. That's what makes B&S special to me, the pure honesty that runs through the songs (as well as the excellent melodies and arrangements of course). Because I've known girls like Rhoda and boys like the narrator of "Mary Jo" and I've been the narrator of "She's Losing It". Stuart's telling us about these people with a whole lot of love and humanity and warmth...and manageing to entertain the piss out of us in the process. Not many bands could come close to what Belle and Sebastian quietly accomplishes each time out. There are layers to the songs, and many alternate ways they could be taken (I don't think my takes on the songs are definite, just what they seem like to me) and this too is part of the beauty of their simplicity. So let's talk, discuss all that rubbish I wrote up there, tell me (and the list) what you think B&S songs are about, or what they mean to you. Oh, and you should all check out: http://www.oateshouse.org.uk/chrismorris/ Click on 'pixies' for the greatest Pixies pisstake ever, simply stunning, I nearly fell off my chair laughing. The others are equally as good, especially the phone call to Piers Morgan. So, let's give the list a bit of a kick, what's Belle and Sebastian mean to you? Jim P.S., I'm quite sorry to have missed the meet-ups, though I did meet a few of you without knowing it. Rachel will remember me as the bloke who tried to catch Stuart so he could sign her baseball after the San Fran show, and some others might remember me sitting near the head of almost all the lines before the shows. Short bloke with sometimes spiky hair and black glasses, stupid grin on his face, that would have been me. I would have made the Seattle meet-up if only I had managed to find computer access in this bloody country. *sigh* I miss the UK and europe where you couldn't go a block without tripping over a net cafe or kiosk. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: sun, sea and sadness
by Rachel Playforth 21 Sep '01

21 Sep '01

i just got back from holiday last night; it felt like bad timing but what can you do? security at gatwick last thursday was mega, and i was glad. i don't suppose a croatia airlines flight to dubrovnik would be a prime target for hijackers, but still. it was a beautiful place. i think matt and i felt extra lucky to be there and to have each other. an american couple came into our hotel to watch cnn as they couldn't get it at theirs, and i thought how difficult it must have been to be so far away from their own country at such a time (although obviously it kept them safe.) today in the co-op a stupid man was talking about refugees: 'taking our jobs and scrounging, i'd round them up and shoot them, i really would'. he was totally serious and i thought - haven't people learned anything, won't people ever stop hating? well, all of you who saw b&s in the states and canada - you were blessed with a rare hour or so of beauty, and it's just struck me again how the amazing people on sinister are a special bonus for loving this band. kisses to all, archel xxx *************************************** For the best in new writing on the web, visit www.buzzwords.org.uk Contact us on buzzwords(a)bigfoot.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Work is for suckers.
by Rinaldo Thatchez 21 Sep '01

21 Sep '01

This is all I can think today, my penultimate Friday at this job. I have to. It makes me feel better because with the economy in the U.S. being what it is coupled with the havoc and the layoffs and soon the fighting, I fear I might not ever get a job again. Once again, my timing is impeccable. Due to the dread of an involuntarily extended and unsubsidized unemployment I was actually considering enlisting in an almost half-serious way recently. It strikes me that the armed services could make a killing (oooh, did I just say that?) at the enlistment offices by using the converse of their old recruitment slogan, i.e. "It's not just an adventure; It's a job!" Did I mention I'm not doing so hot today? Well, I'm not. I got my ya-yas out a little bit last night and now I feel terrible. Real terrible. Tired and terrible. I feel the kind of terrible that makes every third word to pass through my thoughts 'Jesus'. As in, "I hope I . . . Jesus, . . . don't miss the . . . oh, Jesus, . . . bus. I really don't . . .oh, help me Jesus . . .want to be late. Oooh, Jesus. My head. Jesus." I am gaining a whole new awareness for my body today. I had no idea I had the capacity to feel so much pain in so many distinct ways and in so many places at once. I now understand the infinity of inner space. That is the only way to explain how I could contain so much hurt. What am I doing here? Who are these people and what do they want from me? But anyhoo, this is my first post since going to THE GIG so I thought I should mention something about it. I was both impressed and underwhelmed, exultant and disappointed. Impressed by the musicianship and ability to recreate the records so well and by the goshdarned attractiveness of just about everybody on stage (why so camera shy?). Underwhelmed because, well, I'm underwhelmed a lot. I tend to build up lots of excitement for things so that they can never live up to expectations. Exultant though, because, despite their inability to fulfill my incredibly tall order, it was still THEM, the event I'd been waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for. I think I grew extra body hair just so it could stand up. Disappointed though because they didn't play some of my favorite songs but what band ever does (although sometimes they do and it's magic then, isn't it?). It is also now my firm opinion that Jonathan Richman is a very fine guitar player and most likely capable of winning over even the most hostile audience. Not that we were but he's just that winning. And that Paramount theater sure is a beautiful place. Big ups to the Seattle meet up crew who were surprisingly small in number - basically me, Jen, Elise and Jen's friends - but long on charm and chock full of drankin' and gambling spirit. Okay, now follows a 100% true story that I wrote about the time I cleaned up after a living legend and a goddamned genius. Just something I typed up recently and I felt like sharing cuz I ain't doing lick of work. If you don't want to read it but you are a Ken Chu fan, scroll down. I've uncovered something you might find interesting. The Time I Picked Up Brian Wilson's Poo by Rinaldo Thatchez When I was in high school I worked at a small, one-screen movie theatre in Malibu. Brian Wilson would come in fairly regularly and He had a very specific routine at the movies. Immediately after pushing through the turnstiles, He would get an extra large diet coke with no ice. Depending on how early He was for the movie he might be back for a refill before the film even began. On this particular occasion He did not come back for a refill until about fifteen minutes into the film. Given that He doesn't come out for his first refill until the movie has been on for 15 minutes or so, I and my work companions (usually a three man crew) have already had the opportunity to clean up the lobby and the bathrooms following the rush so that everything will be perfect again when they emerge from the film. I am standing behind the concession counter alone while Seth and Todd, the Frank brothers, are up on the roof smoking a bowl. You see, Brian Wilson is not the only one with a routine for being at the movie theatre. Generally, on the days when there was no manager around (most of them), whoever has weed takes one guy up to the roof to get high while the third mans the helm. When they come down, they pass doobage and paraphernalia to the third guy so he can go to the roof. So while I'm waiting to go up there, Brian Wilson comes out and passes me his cup for a fresh, extra large diet coke with no ice. During the course of a typical film he will do this three to four times. Not surprisingly, each trip to the concession stand is combined with a trip to the restroom and this time is no exception. While I fill His cup at the concession stand he goes to fill ours in the restroom. I am positively dizzy with the thought of the continuously flowing liquids that surround this man, from the ocean of his songs and life to the diet coke that seems to be constantly flowing from one vessel to another and finally, through Brian Himself, the final vessel, only to rejoin the ocean, and begin the cycle again. And I wasn't even stoned yet. When Brian comes back out I hand Him His refill and He goes back into the movie and I go back to wondering what's taking Seth and Todd so long and whether there will be anything left for me - an unspoken rule that, being unspoken, occasionally gets broken. A few seconds later, a guy comes out and uses the bathroom. He comes back after about a #1 length of time and says, "hey, you've got a little cleanup to get to in there." I look halfway up from my magazine. "What did you do?" He gives me this really disgusted, offended look. "I didn't do it," he says. "Well, what are you talking about?" "You'll see," he says, walking back into the theatre. . . It is then that Seth and Todd return from from the roof, Todd punching Seth in the back of the head and Seth threatening to turn around and "work" Todd. I tell them about what happened. They agree with me that it is impossible; we cleaned the bathrooms perfectly. Then they ask me what the first guy in the bathroom had looked like. I told them it was Brian Wilson and they immediately start wildly speculating what "that fucked up old barney" might have done in there. They have zero respect for Brian because he never really surfed. Wanting to end their irreverent, unfunny and frankly unlikely suggestions about what particular brand of nastiness He might have committed in our commode and also wanting to hasten my trip to the roof, I charged ahead. My assumption was that He was either a messy hand washer, got the toilet rim a little with His 'creative juices', or, worst case scenario, had Himself a case of the 'rea and didn't flush. Armed with bucket and mop I go in and check for all the expected accidents but things are as we assumed, every surface gleaming white and sparkle bright. I am thoroughly confused. I take a peek to make sure it isn't a number two in the urinal, which happens on rare occasions and totally surprises me every time. I mean, it's a physically difficult operation for one and, secondly, there is like zero privacy. Anyone could come in at any point and find you with your ass against the wall, probably spreading the cheeks with your hand to keep from messing yourself in such an unconventional position. What do you say then? The stall was dirty? I am from Europe? I don't think there is much that is going to work. I check the toilet dispensers just in case He was a foul enough individual to soak the roll. At this point I am actually still thinking that it was the other guy and he was just trying to deflect the blame. This is denial, I realize, when I see what he was talking about. Brian Wilson's struggles with, well, sanity have been well publicized and clearly what I saw before me was not the work of a well man. At first I didn't quite understand what I was seeing. It looked more like a a slug than anything and if I could have believed that a slug could have gotten in there I would have thought the complainer to be pretty squeamish. But I figured it out quick enough. It was a turd, about eight inches from the front plane of the urinal. Just a wee dollop of a turd, but somehow its smallness seemed worse, dirtier. This was not a healthy by-product of natural human digestion. This was a sick, insidious health hazard that had no right to be there. Worst of all, it was Brian Wilson's. I liked to think that he was pulling himself together and though, admittedly, liked diet coke a little too much, was basically okay. Not so. It didn't take a forensics expert to reconstruct the crime scene. I stood next to the turd and found myself perfectly centered at the second urinal with my left heel just next to the turd. If I had been wearing long trousers, like He had been, the leg would have been hovering just above it. Obviously he came to relieve Himself and got a little too relaxed. Whether it slipped down without His knowledge or He had to shake it out a little bit I don't know but the basic circumstances are clear. There are those who would say that Brian Wilson's creative output, while once brilliant, has dried up over the years. I can vouch for that statement personally because I've been watching a small piece of it shrivel up and grow flaky in a jar on my bookshelf since 1991. The End CHU ALERT: Have you been to his website yet? Every fan's duty. No mention of DDR though. Curious. http://www.seweb.uci.edu/faculty/chew.html Take Care Sinister, -Rinaldo _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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