November 2002 - Sinister

Sinister: mac and me.
by richard john gillanders 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

something----------------------------------------- if I had to choose one person who has influenced my life more than any other at all. I would choose myself. if I had to choose another that has changed the course of my life. I'd have to choose someone else. if I had to keep choosing more and more people. I might, eventually, choose macauley culkin. yes. it is amazing, yet it is also sort of true: macauley culkin has affected my life to an extraordinary degree. it all began when I saw the cover of this month's FACE. or maybe it was earlier. maybe it was when I saw 'home alone.' or maybe 'uncle buck.' or maybe when I heard he'd got married. or when I saw 'home alone 2: lost in new york.' or when I saw 'my girl 2' and wondered why he wasn't in it. or when I thought about it and remembered he'd died at the end of 'my girl' or some shit. actually. I haven't seen 'my girl 2.' have I? but when ever the fuck it happened...it made an impact. yes. a hero of our time. of our time. I suppose it's the only something something something. and for all the masses he something something and what for something he had something of something something. he is/was/something: a hero of our time. or a hero of his time? whatever, something. but seriously. M.C. [as I would call him if I were his friend and he let me call him M.C.] has been present or a part of some of the most momentous moments in modern history. indeed: perhaps not HIStory. yes, maybe not, but DANGEROUS-for sure. mac [as I might call him too and yeah] appeared in michael jackson's 'black or white' video for that song. he was a kid on some stoop someplace and rapping and wearing a cap and I think michael was smiling at him, maybe. and I seem to remember his mum and dad were played by, like, some famous people too? or maybe they weren't. actually thinking about it I recall that his dad's VOICE may have been provided by dan castelaneta and checking for how I should spell his name I find that it's actually spelled dan castellaneta. and that I'd almost got it right. but that I don't know how to spell the otherit is, in fact, macaulAy. Not macaulEy. haha. but: yes. dan castellaneta didn't provide the voice of culkin's father at all. he provided home! r simpson's voice AS ALWAYS. but why there? no. the father was potrayed by george wendt of NORM! cheers fame. [whatever.]. now, his mother was played by norma jennings from 'twin peaks.' isn't that interesting? http://us.imdb.com/Credits?0317313 you'll see that adolf hitler and wesley snipes and magic johnston and iman also appeared. what a coup! I've pronounced that differently there so that is sounds like a sort of an insult or something. yes, at the age of seventeen [maybe] macaulay married rachel miner [I think] and then they split up a couple of years ago. a couple of years ago too, but unconnected, perhaps, , macaulay played a guy called michael alig in a film called 'party monster.' I saw a documentary about the stuff that michael alig did. I saw it about five times, I think. he died and something else. like, he killed a guy. and had some drugs. I haven't seen that film, though. haha, checking my facts on this one too; I find that that wasn't a couple of years ago but, actually, next year. oh well. believe it or not: macaulay culkin is only seven months older than I am. it is up to you. I do know that macaulay likes sonic youth or pretends to. I do too. maybe macaulay is a fan of belle & sebastian and their music. maybe he's lurking here right now. reading this. etc. maybe not. but if he isif you are, macaulay: thank you. love, richard. [this post was not about that funny film with a funny alien in it called 'mac and me' but, rather, about the movie star and actor MACaulay culkin and about me too. read it again, please.]. if you'd like to write to macaulay, you can reach him here: mister macaulay culkin 124 west sixtieth street new york city new york state 10023 __________________________________________ Join http://www.toast.com today for your own free, flash-based webmail! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: Numbnut butter
by Mark Casarotto 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Im sitting here chewing on a Reeses NutRageous! (I dont know if it has an exclamation mark, but if it doesnt, it should) bar I bought in Minneapolis yesterday. In London, it has an air of the exotic about it, like when my mum used to come back from LA laden with Hershey bars which tasted of sick. And they still do! Is this a weird American thing, enjoying the flavour of vomit? It certainly turns the concept of a Hersheys Kiss from a sweet sounding chocolate snack into a scary and unpleasant reminder of that teenage party experience with the really, really drunk chick... I have a jar of proper peanut butter downstairs. Smooth, I think it is. I dont think Ill be eating it on toast, although I was fed my first ever peanutbutterandjelly sandwich a few weeks ago, and it was certainly palatable. So maybe if I feel like a change of nourishment Ill give it a go. I actually bought it in a frenzy of thinking Id actually start cooking properly earlier in the year. I dont know what brought it on, as Im in a cooking trough at present, with little more than stuffed pasta and the occasional sausage passing my lips (matron). The idea of a delicious satay of some description is beginning to make my mouth water, though, so if anyone has any decent recipes, please feel free to send them to me! Id better get this on topic. If the topic is PEANUT BUTTER! No, seriously, folks. Take my mother in law. Ahem. Its quite a trial trying to associate peanut butter with Belle and Sebastian, and you may wonder why I would bother doing such a thing. Well, I want to. Oh, and Archel said I had to. Pleasingly, there are about 381 results when peanut butter Belle and Sebastian are inputted into google. However, at www.googlefight.com, peanut butter WHUPS THE ASS of B&S, with almost 9 times as many references! Personally, B&S will always mean more to me than PB, but Im obviously in the minority. I once used vegetable oil to lubricate the valves on my trumpet. That was 5 years ago, and I havent touched it since. What do you thinkll be inside the valves if I try to remove them? And will it have the viscosity (and crunchiness) of peanut butter? I am expecting it will. I might have to resurrect my trumpet. Only problem is, I used to play it when I lived in a detached house, and now that Im in a block of flats it might not be so much appreciated. Oh, and I gave it up because I couldnt reach the high notes. It was okay, though, cos I took up the euphonium instead. Well, I say okay, but at least people in my music GCSE class didnt actually *laugh* at me during lessons when I was playing the trumpet. So I gave it up and took up the flute. Look! http://www.missprint.org/sinister/picnics/MarkFlute.html All the old picnic photos look so much fun. I wonder if well ever see their like again? Of course, if all the Newcomers and lurkers were to come along to some sinister gatherings, it would be like a phoenix rising from the flames. Feel free to email me off list to ask if anythings going on, cos we tend to meet up at least weekly (in London, this is). Ah go on. Sinister needs its new blood. There may even be some peanut butter in it for you Hugglez, Mark xxx __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: Hamster Dance
by MyMomSays＠aol.com 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Honestly, I wasn't surprised when my friend Pamela told me she was raising a hamster family. I remember when I became friends with her five or so years ago she catalogued all of the hamsters of the past to me--there was Maddie, Oliver, Patsy, and numerous others whose names have escaped me. But then she informed that she was named her hamsters, not joking: Stuart, Isobel, Sarah, Richard, Mick and Stevie. The little shivering, hairless lot of them are a mini incarnation of B&S! At home, I am not sure I could stand a little cage full of those noisy little beasts. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Snickers who lived for about four years and who would keep me up at night running around on his little treadmill. Later on, my sister got two hamsters who never received names (and who were also brothers), but they were sort of fat and unfriendly. Later I found that one of them had eaten about half of the other, and I just couldn't look at the nasty beast any longer and gave him to my 6th grade science teacher. Maybe a week or so ago, Kirsten Kenyon told me that she found a mouse in her apartment! She then told me a story about how she and Jack Gillanders had trapped a different mouse and then discovered it was a little baby, and when she took it to the park to release it, she felt guilty about breaking up the little mouse family. Shame about that one, innit? Little mice are so cute, but there is something just kind of creepy about them. Hamsters are nice because they have no tails and like to stuff their cheeks until it looks like they have the mumps. The other night, Pamela sent me a photograph of her little hamster family that she is raising. I wonder what the band would think if they knew there were hamsters running around with their names (thankfully not their likenesses). I admit, they were heartbreakingly cute. But what kind of person decides they want to raise a hamster family? It sounds like a mentalist activity to me. One of my best mates has recently started to raise squirrels that he's found orphaned in the wild (wild?). He found his first squirrel, Towelette, hanging off his balcony by her toe, and decided to rescue her. She now lives in his bedroom and poos in the most inconvenient of places (Namely, inbetween the keys on his piano). He was hoping Towelette and his other squirrel, Gregory, would mate so he could have an entire squirrel family. Egads! Right now I'd better run along, I just thought you all might enjoy my little funny story about the mini B&S running around out there, stuffing their faces with seeds and pissing into cedar chips. B&S--may you never be half-eaten by your brother! Yours, Mandee May "Inconsolably Okay" +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: Hamster Dance
by MyMomSays＠aol.com 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Honestly, I wasn't surprised when my friend Pamela told me she was raising a hamster family. I remember when I became friends with her five or so years ago she catalogued all of the hamsters of the past to me--there was Maddie, Oliver, Patsy, and numerous others whose names have escaped me. But then she informed that she was named her hamsters, not joking: Stuart, Isobel, Sarah, Richard, Mick and Stevie. The little shivering, hairless lot of them are a mini incarnation of B&S! At home, I am not sure I could stand a little cage full of those noisy little beasts. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Snickers who lived for about four years and who would keep me up at night running around on his little treadmill. Later on, my sister got two hamsters who never received names (and who were also brothers), but they were sort of fat and unfriendly. Later I found that one of them had eaten about half of the other, and I just couldn't look at the nasty beast any longer and gave him to my 6th grade science teacher. Maybe a week or so ago, Kirsten Kenyon told me that she found a mouse in her apartment! She then told me a story about how she and Jack Gillanders had trapped a different mouse and then discovered it was a little baby, and when she took it to the park to release it, she felt guilty about breaking up the little mouse family. Shame about that one, innit? Little mice are so cute, but there is something just kind of creepy about them. Hamsters are nice because they have no tails and like to stuff their cheeks until it looks like they have the mumps. The other night, Pamela sent me a photograph of her little hamster family that she is raising. I wonder what the band would think if they knew there were hamsters running around with their names (thankfully not their likenesses). I admit, they were heartbreakingly cute. But what kind of person decides they want to raise a hamster family? It sounds like a mentalist activity to me. One of my best mates has recently started to raise squirrels that he's found orphaned in the wild (wild?). He found his first squirrel, Towelette, hanging off his balcony by her toe, and decided to rescue her. She now lives in his bedroom and poos in the most inconvenient of places (Namely, inbetween the keys on his piano). He was hoping Towelette and his other squirrel, Gregory, would mate so he could have an entire squirrel family. Egads! Right now I'd better run along, I just thought you all might enjoy my little funny story about the mini B&S running around out there, stuffing their faces with seeds and pissing into cedar chips. B&S--may you never be half-eaten by your brother! Yours, Mandee May "Inconsolably Okay" +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: Hamster Dance
by MyMomSays＠aol.com 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Honestly, I wasn't surprised when my friend Pamela told me she was raising a hamster family. I remember when I became friends with her five or so years ago she catalogued all of the hamsters of the past to me--there was Maddie, Oliver, Patsy, and numerous others whose names have escaped me. But then she informed that she was named her hamsters, not joking: Stuart, Isobel, Sarah, Richard, Mick and Stevie. The little shivering, hairless lot of them are a mini incarnation of B&S! At home, I am not sure I could stand a little cage full of those noisy little beasts. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Snickers who lived for about four years and who would keep me up at night running around on his little treadmill. Later on, my sister got two hamsters who never received names (and who were also brothers), but they were sort of fat and unfriendly. Later I found that one of them had eaten about half of the other, and I just couldn't look at the nasty beast any longer and gave him to my 6th grade science teacher. Maybe a week or so ago, Kirsten Kenyon told me that she found a mouse in her apartment! She then told me a story about how she and Jack Gillanders had trapped a different mouse and then discovered it was a little baby, and when she took it to the park to release it, she felt guilty about breaking up the little mouse family. Shame about that one, innit? Little mice are so cute, but there is something just kind of creepy about them. Hamsters are nice because they have no tails and like to stuff their cheeks until it looks like they have the mumps. The other night, Pamela sent me a photograph of her little hamster family that she is raising. I wonder what the band would think if they knew there were hamsters running around with their names (thankfully not their likenesses). I admit, they were heartbreakingly cute. But what kind of person decides they want to raise a hamster family? It sounds like a mentalist activity to me. One of my best mates has recently started to raise squirrels that he's found orphaned in the wild (wild?). He found his first squirrel, Towelette, hanging off his balcony by her toe, and decided to rescue her. She now lives in his bedroom and poos in the most inconvenient of places (Namely, inbetween the keys on his piano). He was hoping Towelette and his other squirrel, Gregory, would mate so he could have an entire squirrel family. Egads! Right now I'd better run along, I just thought you all might enjoy my little funny story about the mini B&S running around out there, stuffing their faces with seeds and pissing into cedar chips. B&S--may you never be half-eaten by your brother! Yours, Mandee May "Inconsolably Okay" +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: The BOWL done wrong again! (BOWLING INFO SUNDAY 17 NOV)
by kenneth.chu＠uclh.org 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Hello all, Sorry for the recent lack of posts, I've been busy lately. Busy eating, mostly, because everyone who lived in London seem to have buggered off to Glasgow, York, Califronia or what-have-you, so I thought if I'd eaten more I'd get fatter and hence keeping the London Sinister Massive, massive. Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I can't bowl - hence why LONDON SINISTER BOWLING is back! Put a note in your diary now - something like the following will do.. -------------------------------------- SUN 17 NOV, 2002 BOWLING WEEKENDER At 2pm today I arrived at Rowens Entertainment, which is just across the road from the tube station at Finsbury Park, in London. When I got there Ken was already there waiting, together with a few other sinister people. They're all ever so friendly, except for ______ who is a bit of a ________. Then we went inside, and we ________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ ________________________________, and, reluctantly, I waved goodbye. I can't wait for the next sinister bowling event! And my, isn't Ken a handsome fella, shame he can't bowl to save his live. <THE END> (Thank fuck for that) ----------------------- Then, after going bowling, you can fill in the blanks in your diary with the day's adventure! You can even make use of paragraphs, too, unless you're Kieran Devaney. And just because this is held in London, doesn't mean that you have to be from London to come! I've already heard rumours that there will be attendance from PORTSMOUTH, and I trust that people from BRIGHTON, and BIRMINGHAM and OTHER PLACES are going to come too. RIGHT? RIGHT! It's the end of the post as we know it. Ken P.S.: I can't believe that my work e-mail filtered out my swearing as "pornography" and yet it didn't mind Pigtails' "Jism". +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: wonder[bra]ful
by R.Playforth＠sussex.ac.uk 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

I've always known that Caitlin was on the ball. But referring to my post BEFORE I've written it, now that's clever. I can hardly back out now can I? Sorry it's been so long. I don't know why, although perhaps it has something to do with the lack of music emanating from camp Belle & Sebastian, and a corresponding glut of gossip, trivia and merchandise. Which is no bad thing, don't get me wrong. I like talking about Struan's car and buying T-shirts as much as the next tweester. But (to go all Sex and the City for a minute) I Can't Help But Wonder whether it wasn't rather more fun when I knew NOTHING about B&S and nor did anyone else. When the music might as well have appeared on Jeepster's desk in the dead of night, dropped there by a mysterious figure with strangely compelling arms... It was infuriatingly precious when they wouldn't do press or appear on sleeve photos etc, I know it was. But it did give us something to *wonder* about, and if you can't have wonder then what have you really got? A fey Scottish band made up of scruffy, skinny lads and winsome lasses, who you might have forgotten about already if the NME didn't occasionally remind you. Oh I don't really believe that, of course. But suffice to say, I have not been reading the Q&A page on the website. (Note: the next part of the post is going to be trivial and gossipy, so don't pay too much attention to the above musings.) I seem to recall that, in my salad days on Sinister, I may have mentioned underwear more than once, probably trying to impress the boys as usual. (I had thought that http://www.missprint.org/sinister/mhon arc/199901/msg00265.html was my final word on the matter. Circumstances beyond my control have dictated otherwise.) So I wonder if I can beat the record set by a certain Gabriela in 1999, who mentioned the word 'underwear' 9 times in one post... It is a genuinely important subject, you know. Pants are very revealing. Particularly if you're wearing nothing else and they're a bit off centre... but I mean PSYCHOLOGICALLY revealing, obviously. For example, Mark Casarotto doesn't wear any pants at all. Ian has novelty boxers embroidered with nuns. Ken buys a brand new pair every day, knowing that any day now a girl will ask to see them. Maddie's pants are a state secret, but can be assumed to be quietly glamorous. Struan wears silver pants, I remember deducing once. Stevie must surely wear sky blue Y-fronts. Belfast Bob is going to throw his pants into the crowd at a gig before too long, if you ask me. And now Isobel's penchant for patterned tights has been exposed, what can we assume about her pants? I reckon they are plain white, perhaps with a hint of a pink rose or teddy bear, in a last-ditch attempt to retain her innocence. As for me, I used to be snow white, then I drifted. Ie. my white knickers were once legion (well, 'white' would be charitable; ''off-grey' far more accurate). Now I am entirely converted to the black pant. My journey to the dark side is complete. And of course I know we all keep one pair of red pants for Sinister... will the next time we wear them be on our tenth birthday? Um... I can't think of any further pant insights. Although on a related note, having heard yesterday that it's possible for men to get breast cancer, perhaps I should urge any boys with even a hint of manboob to go out and buy a nice supportive bra. Personally I hate bras, but you've got to have them sometimes. It's like nits. Can I stop now? I can? Oh good. Brighton Christmas picnic anyone? luv Archel xxx PS: 659 words, of which 9 = 'pant(s)', 2 = 'underwear', 3 = 'bra', and 1 = 'knickers' ************ http://archel.blogspot.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: Squaaaaaaawk!
by Lucy Alder 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

The sun yawned, propped himself up on his elbows and blinked. Then, he sat up and stretched his candy striped pyjama sleeves across the sky. The birds twitched, flexed their beaks and started to sing. The daisies flung back their petals and turned around to look at the sun. And then God came by and took a nice, long, relaxing pish all over Glasgow. Again. The patter of rain against the window of my not-so-lonely tenement didnt wake me up. Its nine months since I moved to Scotland and Im far too used it these days. What did wake me up, though, was the sound of breaking glass. I near jumped out of my skin! My first reaction was to curl up into a little ball and hide under the duvet because, obviously, thats how to make nasty things go away and leave you alone. But go away it did not. It whatever it was came and sat on me. I could feel something sharp digging through the covers and into my hip. Could it be a phantom? An alien? Frank the bunny? No, there was something a bit odd about it all. The Thing was too light to be all that scary. I peeked out from under the duvet. The room looked like a bomb had hit it. Actually, it always looks like a bomb has hit it Im not the worlds tidiest young lady. However, I dont tend to leave shards of broken glass lying around. I presumed this was the result of something smashing through the window. Could it be a brick tossed by one of the local neds? No, surely not they are far too preoccupied with experiments involving emptying the gunpowder out of a load of fireworks into a heap under a car and seeing what happens when you drop a lighted match onto it. I could still feel The Thing sitting on my hip. I squinted through my bleary eyes in its direction and saw A parrot. About fucking time you were awake. What the fuck do you think youre doing yer wee radge cunt, hiding under the covers when Im so obviously in need of medical attention? The parrot was looking a trifle distressed, and also bloody. His feathers were sticking out in all directions and a greenish goo was running down one of his legs and onto my not-exactly-cheap John Lewis bed linen. I sighed. This little chaps reputation preceded him. In fact, I was wondering when he might pay me a visit. I believe I am in the presence of the Poetry Parrot. Damn right, you are. Run me a bath, beeyotch! Ill do no such thing if youre going to speak to me like that. Say please. The creature sniffed, which I thought was odd, as parrots dont have noses like what weve got. Pleeeeease. Thats better. I went into the bathroom, turned on the taps and swiped some of my flatmates Radox. While I was sponging the plumage of our little friend, I asked him where on earth hed been, and how on earth hed got into such a state. I got lost, he replied, in Missprint Towers. A long, long time ago, somebody sent me somewhere, but that person didnt realise Id been sent to them, so I tapped and tapped and tapped at their window and they never let me in. I was starving hungry, so I went to the local park in search of a granny with a bag of bread I can have a duck in a Square Go any day so I thought Id be in with a chance of a feed but as soon as I found a perch in a nice silver birch, a gang of bastard squirrels decided to kidnap me! Can you believe it? They took me back to their secret dray, sat me on a pile of stained headscarves and locked the door while they decided what to do with me. It didnt half stink in there. Well, I thought, Im not going to let these grey bastards keep me here. Theres only one thing I can do fight! Luckily I had some star shaped martial arts weapony things tucked under my wing, so the next time a squirrel came in to check on me, I flung one at him and chopped off his tail! Well done! I said. Thank you, my dear, he replied, very kind of you to say so. Dont forget the downy feathers under my wing, will you? I turned him upside down and gave him a good scrubbing. So, what happened next? Well, said the colourful one, Id heard that the way to get a squirrel is to get his tail and its true! He rolled around on the floor, squealing in agony. His little squirrelly pals came to find out what was going on, caught site of the hunk of fluff on the floor and scarpered. Before you could say fuckmeinthearse I was out and airborne, but I didnt know where to go. I thought and thought and I thought of you Aw, youre making me blush Dont flatter yourself darling, its just that, out of all Sinister, you live closest to Alexandra Park, which is where I was, and I needed help, quick. Well, I said, youre all clean now and I dont think youve got any broken bones, so Ill just get you some food. I havent got much in will pasta and pesto do? Spose. OK then, while Im cooking, you can tell me a poem Righto, this is a good'un so here goes A Beautiful Young Nymph Going to Bed. By Swift, Jonathan . Corinna, Pride of Drury-Lane, For whom no Shepherd sighs in vain; Never did Covent Garden boast So bright a batter'd, strolling Toast; No drunken Rake to pick her up, No Cellar where on Tick to sup; Returning at the Midnight Hour; Four Stories climbing to her Bow'r; Then, seated on a three-legg'd Chair, Takes off her artificial Hair: Now, picking out a Crystal Eye, She wipes it clean, and lays it by. Her Eye-Brows from a Mouse's Hide, Stuck on with Art on either Side, Pulls off with Care, and first displays 'em, Then in a Play-Book smoothly lays 'em. Now dextrously her Plumbers draws, That serve to fill her hollow Jaws. Untwists a Wire; and from her Gums A Set of Teeth completely comes. Pulls out the Rags contriv'd to prop Her flabby Dugs and down they drop. Proceeding on, the lovely Goddess Unlaces next her Steel-Rib'd Bodice; Which by the Operator's Skill, Press down the Lumps, the Hollows fill, Up hoes her Hand, and off she slips The Bolsters that supply her Hips. With gentlest Touch, she next explores Her Shankers, Issues, running Sores, Effects of many a sad Disaster; And then to each applies a Plaster. But must, before she goes to Bed, Rub off the Daubs of White and Red; And smooth the Furrows in her Front, With greasy Paper stuck upon't. She takes a Bolus e'er she sleeps; And then between two Blankets creeps. With pains of love tormented lies; Or if she chance to close her Eyes, Of Bridewell and the Compter dreams, And feels the Lash, and faintly screams; Or, by a faithless Bully drawn, At some Hedge-Tavern lies in Pawn; Or to Jamaica seems transported, Alone, and by no Planter courted; Or, near Fleet-Ditch's oozy Brinks, Surrounded with a Hundred Stinks, Belated, seems on watch to lie, And snap some Cull passing by; Or, struck with Fear, her Fancy runs On Watchmen, Constables and Duns, >From whom she meets with frequent Rubs; But, never from Religious Clubs; Whose Favour she is sure to find, Because she pays them all in Kind. CORINNA wakes. A dreadful Sight! Behold the Ruins of the Night! A wicked Rat her Plaster stole, Half eat, and dragged it to his Hole. The Crystal Eye, alas, was miss'd; And Puss had on her Plumpers piss'd. A Pigeon pick'd her Issue-Peas; And Shock her Tresses fill'd with Fleas. The Nymph, tho' in this mangled Plight, Must ev'ry Morn her Limbs unite. But how shall I describe her Arts To recollect the scatter'd Parts? Or show the Anguish, Toil, and Pain, Of gath'ring up herself again? The bashful Muse will never bear In such a Scene to interfere. Corinna in the Morning dizen'd, Who sees, will spew; who smells, be poison'd. The Parrot scoffed down his pasta and then broke off a huge chunk of my Parmesan and ate that too blooming cheek! And then I sent him on his way, with instructions to visit *Mr Robin Stout* because Im reasonably sure that hell look after the Parrot and keep him alive WONT YOU? Cheerio Juicy Lucy ===== The one, the only Glasgow Indie List! http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/glasgow-indie/ ************************************************** The Winchester Club http://www.geocities.com/the_winchester_club __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: Fashion victims?
by Caitlin Pigtails 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Seeing as Archel, in her post today, has been speculating wildly about Belle and Sebastian's exotic kinky underwear, I thought I would post this. Press Delete Now, People. It must be hard to be Isobel Campbell. I mean, if you're Isobel Campbell, you have a reputation to maintain. Values to uphold. You have to remain infamously twee - which isn't too hard; you just write lots of lyrics about little cuddly fluffy bunny rabbits and squirrels and beavers all having a cuddly animals' tea party in Kelvingrove Park - but you have maintain that slight sexiness, too. "Hmmmm," Isobel must think to herself, "how can I keep up my twee reputation, but still look so sexy that lonely teenage indie-boys will still keep sending me their jism-soaked stuffed toys?" Have you guessed what she does yet? Yes, that's right. She pulls on a pair of patterned tights. "Aha!" Miss Campbell says, "now all those poor indie-kids won't be able to take their eyes off my legs! And, of course, I *have* to wear a short skirt so I can spread my legs nice and wide. Um, to get them round my cello, of course. All eyes will be on *me* whenever I'm on stage. Stuart will be sorry I'm not in his rubbish little band any more. Bwhahahahahahaha! Ahem." Patterned tights seem to have become awfully popular lately, for some reason. You can't go in a clothes shop without seeing stripy tights, stripy knee-socks, fishnet tights, lacy tights, and all sorts of complex designs. Buying an ordinary plain packet of tights has suddenly become terribly difficult, unless you buy the cheap ones from the newsagent which will probably stain your legs when it rains. Presumably, people just don't want plain tights any more; which is why, of course, that's still what most people are wearing. I have to admit, I do own one pair of patterned tights, with stripes in black, purple and red. I can't actually remember why I bought them, or where or when. Either I was in some sort of trance at the time - hypnotised by the pure stripyness of the hosiery section, no doubt - or they materialised in my sock drawer like Mr Benn's shopkeeper. I only wear them when I'm cold, because they are nice and thick. You can't *have* that many patterns of tights, anyway. Little printed patterns, possibly. Horizontal stripes, although they can look a bit goth. Vertical stripes just wouldn't work. There's not much choice there, is there? Lacy tights presumably have the same problem as fishnets: they can make the soles of your feet rather sore. I've never understood why boys find fishnets sexy; but my form tutor always wore them, and she was an extremely unsexy person. I think my geography teacher must have liked them, though, because they were having a "secret" affair which all of the 2000 people in the school knew about. Maybe I just don't understand the point of patterned tights. I'll have to write a letter to Isobel. xxxxx (times 100), caitlin -- http://www.joannou.net/topofthestairs/ "When life gives us lemons, we just sit there and sulk about it, in the corner of the room, in a fetal position." - Matthew Henderson, on the Sinister mailing list. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0

Sinister: 4.5.... 6.8.... 14 (and a bit), seconds of light
by patrick doyle 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Hi there, Out of thirty-six, my camera had managed to spit out a grand total of three exposures. I decided, regardless, to go ahead and develop the ones that did come out in the negatives. The dark room is my favourite place in the school, it means I can be on my own, means I can eat lollipops and listen to my mini disc player, means I can be out of the way of my art teacher, who for no apparent reason seems to have taken a great disliking to me in the last few years, and I find photography a lot of fun. I chose a photo of my friend emma first of all *Ink Polaroid* This photo was taken, primarily to use up the last few photos on my film, and coincidently was one of the only ones that came out in the end. It's a black and white photo. She's standing outside the police station, which is on the way home. She's wearing my parka, and trying to look all innocent - it isn't working. The sign above the door (reading 'POLICE') is out of focus, as is the rest of the photo, with only emma (plus parka) being clear. *End* As I loaded my negative into the enlarger, I smiled as Electronic Renaissance came on my mini disc player. I usually have music on while I'm working, probably one of the reasons my art teacher seems to hate me. I set out my paper and tried first of all, an exposure for (roughly) 3 seconds, then took it off to the developer tray. As I left it to develop, I started a new one, this time of 6 seconds, which, probably due to my lack of concentration, turned out to be more like 8 seconds, but it seemed to work ok as it started to come through on the paper. By this time, the first shot had fully developed and now lay in the sink, a little light, but ok none-the less. Despite the second shot being longer than i first anticipated, it was still a bit on the light side. I took one more; this time for 12 seconds...this is where it all went a bit wrong. My teacher seems to have a habit of walking in the room at the most inappropriate times, and if it had been me walking in on someone, he probably would have killed me. As soon as I click on the light and began to count, the door opened and in he wandered. Because I'm so fecking terrified of him, I completely lost it, my hand began to shake, and slid about on the button, I had absolutely no idea how long I'd had the light on for - turned out it ended up being on for about 14 seconds, which is a bit much I suppose. Although at the time, I could have quite happily told my teacher to, feck off, he actually did me a favour - in a strange round-about way - 14 seemed to be a good time for the photo and it turned out to be the best out of the three I did today. I started a new film today, just hope I get more photos this time... *Fingers crossed* Patrick x Monochrome in the 1990's you go disco and I'll go my way _________________________________________________________________ Choose an Internet access plan right for you -- try MSN! http://resourcecenter.msn.com/access/plans/default.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

1 0