September 2002 - Sinister

Sinister: Gemma
by Simon Fallaha 22 Sep '02

22 Sep '02

Wow. Well everyone, I saw Gemma Hayes last night and it was more than just a pleasant surprise. Her only stop in Northern Ireland on her current tour is the Nerve Centre, in Derry! Amazing. Especially considering that I now live in Belfast on weekdays (I'm now working up there on placement, until next September). There was a good crowd at the Nerve Centre last night (eventually - most were not there to see the supporting acts). I was there for the whole running length, and here's my view... The music was of a generally high standard throughout. We'd two supporting acts. Firstly a pair of unknown middle-aged guys who sounded like Simon & Garfunkel wannabes. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing - their songs had good harmonies and were fun to listen to on the whole. Secondly, an Irish singer/guitarist called Ann Scott took the stage. Previously unknown to me before this, she's actually released an album down south. Her style is pretty much like Gemma's, although maybe a little more downbeat. Her first EP is actually out now - it's called the Pauper Tiger EP, and it's released on her own label, Raghouse Records. She's also recording an album at the minute. I'll tell you what, she has the potential to go far. But what about Gemma herself? Well, she arrived on stage looking quite stunning and to a really loud cheer from the crowd. Right from the opening number you felt this was going to be a good night. More than any other artist I've seen, she attempted to make herself feel at home with us, the audience. Her first question: "Does anyone know how the United game went?" (I did stick my hand up, but she never noticed). Later she commented "We lost". Does this mean she's a Spurs fan, by any chance? Also, she gave out some of her plectrums to some of the crowd. In fact, I picked up one from her, but gave it away to the guy who'd asked for it in the first place (sigh...). Nor did she mind posing for photos demanded by many over-enthusiastic fans. (One of her poses echoed one of Audrey Tautou's funny faces from Amelie). Calls of "Marry me!" rang from quite a few of the lads in the crowd throughout the concert. She took them all with a nod and a wink, and praised us for being such a great audience. It seemed that she was enjoying the concert as much as we were, if not more. The songs she sang were some of the best ones from her album, Night On My Side, and a few from her first two EP's (including 4:35 a.m., the first one I ever listened to). The album's had plenty of praise and success, but many have been surprised by its Mercury nomination. None more so than Sunday Times critic Mick Heaney - he claimed that not only do many Brits not know much about her (no one at work in Belfast had remotely heard of Gemma, and it was only on the bus back home that I found someone remotely interested) but her album was not "new" enough, too obviously influenced by alternative rock. I don't see that as a handicap though. This "influence" may be noticeable sometimes, but her songs do have a certain freshness to them, especially in the lyrics department. Besides, it's a style that's likely to win over many new fans. Yet to be honest, I was actually quite divided on Night On My Side before last night. My opinion was that the first six songs are brilliant but then it kind of meanders after that. Four of those first six songs were in the line up: Hanging Around (probably her most famous song, and a very good one at that), Back Of My Hand (a very catchy and upbeat love song which everyone should almost certainly love), Let A Good Thing Go (here, she ventures into heavy metal territory, and with considerable success. The crowd seemed to love this one more than the others; she even let us sing one line. Admittedly it was deafening, but then that's the idea) and Ran For Miles (slow, but pleasant). Sometimes she wandered into the land of strangeness. Before the song Lucky One, she said "It works best if you close your eyes and pretend you're a bird". Huh?! Nevertheless, I tried it - it was effective, sort of. Ironically, the song is subtitled Bird Of Casadaga, so I shouldn't have been too surprised about that comment. There was also a song called I Can't Find Love ("Awww!" cried many of the fans, until she told them it was about a friend of hers). She did three encores; 4.35 a.m., Tear In My Side and Evening Sun. The first two were pleasant to listen to, and the final song was especially moving. The only complaint that I have is that the concert was too short. At the end, there was a real feeling of anticlimax, and there was no merchandise to collect. Still, you can't have everything, and the concert as a whole is probably the second best one I've seen (behind Belle & Sebastian). I doubt that I was the only one who felt it was all over too soon. Take care all, Psi __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: i just don't know what to do, or what to think, i just want to curl up and cry and i can't even do that
by adevens＠antioch-college.edu 22 Sep '02

22 Sep '02

so i'm so mad right now, and i don't know how to even write this email but i don't have anyone else to talk to right now cause it's 3 in the fucking morning so you all are all i've got where to even start. about 3 weeks ago i met a girl, i knew i was only going to be home for a few weeks and that it couldn't really be anything real but she was cool and i liked her and i haven't liked anyone in a pretty long time she likes me too. we've been "hanging out" since then, not a couple, certainly not, but fairly couple like. she's told me that if i was staying she would want to date me, and i think i believe her, i think i do, maybe anyway, i know that she makes out with other people, i sort of knew that anyway, vaguely, and it didn't really bother me cause afterall we aren't dating anyway and i'm leaving for scotland in like 8 days anyway but, fucking but, fucking fucking fucking but she invited me to a concert tonight, sort of, and her friend invited me to a party after it, aparently she didn't want me to be invited but she sure as fuck didn't do anything to stop me from going, in fact it seemed to me in some ways like she was happy i was going so i went to the concert and had a good time, tracy + the plastics, great band/chick, afterwards we went to the party and for awhile had a good time there then i saw her making out with some random guy while i was five feet away, then pull him into the makeout room, then come out and start making out with someone else that i later found out is her ex-boyfriend, then i went outside and stood near them and she took him off across the street to keep making out i don't know what to feel... i know i don't have any um hold over her, that's not really the right term cause you don't own people, i just mean that we are not comitted in anyway, far from it, but we've spent the last 3 weeks seeing each other every few days and there has been a far bit of kissing and the like and i guess i just thought she liked me more than that it's just so fucking inconsiderate, so finally we talked and i said that and she said that she liked me alot and that if i was staying she would want to be with me but because i wasn't she couldn't get attached to me, which i fucking understand, it makes sense, and i told her that i was cool with what she was doing, which i sort of am, maybe, but that i just didn't want to have to see it and she apologized and told me that she hadn't meant for me to see it, and i told her that for the 8 days we had left i would just like it if she would try harder, at which point we left the party she left the party with him, holding hands, i started to walk back with them cause she was going to the same place as my car but when i realized she was taking him back with her i wasn't going to, i said i would call her the next day and she asked me why i wasn't walking with them so i fucking did, and she held his fucking hand the whole fucking way back, didn't say a fucking word to me and when we fucking got back to my fucking car she was like, are you leaving, and i was like what else am i gonna do and she was like well i'll see you later to which i just left maybe i'm just drunk, which i am, but it just seems so fucking inconsiderate, are they back together, i know she wants that, are we done? we were supposed to go to a show together tomorrow, are we not now? i think i will be ok with what happened tomorrow but i'm not sure there is a tomorrow, at least not for me and her i fucking hate this, i fucking hate this stupid fucking bullshit, what am i supposed to feel, what am i supposed to think? what happens now? i'm not going to sleep that's for sure .. arik p.s. sorry, sorry for making you all have to deal with this. tomorrow i will write a much happier message where i beg you all to let me live in your houses in scotland for a brief time, really i'm usually much nicer and ok then this, i promise +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: chanson
by Gordon 21 Sep '02

21 Sep '02

I've been reading sini posts. It's not good for one's health, really. I think Idle's one was quite sexy but 'the girl is in love with several others' and Will: yer not alone at all here: join the club, pal. I must also make a disclaimer. I am VERY drunk. So much that way that I'm drinking straight off a bottle of the Balmoral Hotel's so-so southern Scotland's blended whisky and lapping up the dulcet tones of 14th Century music: when these kids started to sing this shit their brothers were building the cathedrals of Europe. Which makes me rather in admiration of their hocketing tones. I'm not exactly sure how to do a 'crie de cour' but for sure they're generally embarassing: one puts one's life on the washing line. Therefore my reckoning was to not do it. But here I am, doing it. I can tell it'll take all day to write this. Sometimes it would be easier to draw pictures but one is after consistency of tone. The sun is shining through the staircase window. Madame est ... jooliest-so comme erste ci; madamo that, by the way, is not supposed to make sense in any language; it just sounds nice Call and response, call and response: that was the root of music: I say, you say... and then, once we got the tune, we sing in harmony. The golden octopus was used as a dress ornament. Octopuses were a frequent decorative device in Aegean art; this one is novel, however, in having ...only seven tentacles. Human beings are complex, huh? Maybe we just love one another in order to put aside our fear of each other. I'm not sure I have more to say here but I suppose it would be decent to offer an image of something; something dreamy... you are in a field in spring; a high alp where the flowers are blossoming. The air is clear, and the gods are calling down to you 'come hither, come hither'. You can see the blue, deep blue wantonness of the whole world waiting to take you up in its arms.... 'come hither, come hither' Gordon xxx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: "You have turned me into this..."
by Nathan Reader 21 Sep '02

21 Sep '02

Hello all you fine figures, There have been alot of posts pretty much concerning nothing of great importance lately, so I'll add to them. ****************** I just discovered today that a best friend of mine used to live next door to Mel Gibson...the REAL Mel. I don't know why I didn't find this out until today, I mean it's pretty big-exciting-hunkey-dorey news. Anyway, apparantly he worked really hard to get into acting, it didn't just fall into his lap like you hear about. His wife payed for him to go to NIDA (an acting college) and he went to audition ofter audition after crappy audition until he finally worked his way up the acting ladder. And now he's rich and famous with about 9 kids or something. It makes me wonder what I'll do with my life- definately not acting though. I've always wanted to do medicine, but now I think I could just settle for being a nurse or a paramedic. It will be cheaper and shorter study wise. I think I've had enough of studying for the moment. I'm in year 12 (final year) of school, and there is only two months of school left. I have come to the conclusion that although I was once good at maths, I now officially suck. I do think it is possible that I am the worst mathematician on this list. I probably shouldn't have chosen to do it in my final year... I don't dwell on what I don't enjoy though, there are many other good things in life to think about- such as music. Tommorrow night I am seeing a band perform. The band is a far out Australian band called 'Machine Gun Fellatio.' I have seen them twice before, and LOVED it both times. Here's a small list of the types of things you can expect at a 'Machine Gun Fellatio' concert: - a little Winnie The Pooh strapped on Chit Chat's peenie. A shaved penie at that. Thats all he wears. - a topless girls with tassles on her nipples roller-skating around the stage. - funny lyrics. - free condoms. Each with a little strawberry flavoured sachet of lubrication (it tastes like absolute crap. I didn't try it THAT way(not that there's anything wrong with that(but i'm not)), I just ate it straight from the sachet. for fun. - a solo with a hair clipper buzzer thingy. - band members to crowd surf, and deliberately piss off the security guards. - other cool stuff. As you can see, they are a super-dooper performance. But whats better is that I get to go to their shows for free! I have a connection, so whenever they play in sleepy ol' Adelaide, I get on the guest list. That means I can get there late, and then walk past the hundreds of people in the line and walk right in. Smashing hey? Well, if your still with me, I'll let you go. I'm sure there are many other 'slice of life' posts waiting in your inbox. I'm going to wait for Mum to bring home Indian food...Mmmmm. bye bye. Nathan RR-W ****** I couldn't think of a title for this post, so I'll just put Radiohead lyrics, because I'm listening to 'The Bends'. Song: Bulletproof Lyric: As displayed after 'Subject: Sinister........' at the top of this e-mail. __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo! http://sbc.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: just please slap the crap out of me!!
by bus stoppers 21 Sep '02

21 Sep '02

dearest dears, so... well, first of all, here's a hug for ms. pigtails. i know exactly what you mean. last night i had (yes, yet another) epiphany. i think i actually, finally, like a nice boy. is the sky falling on my head? have all previous notions and/or ideals been knocked out of my head by that piece of the sky? i think i like him. i really do. we had plans to go out tomorrow, to an art show in santa monica. i thought i was going to be able to get someone to take my shift, but alas, no one could. i was actually super disappointed. i was upset, actually. and then i was talking with him last night and he was going to to his friends' birthday thing. with a friend that is a girl. and guess what. i actually got jealous. i have never been jealous before. this is just fucking scary. i have spent the greater part of the most recent past killing time falling for poop-head boys. that way, no one gets hurt. it's not like they were mean to me, it's just that nothing ever got serious. which i like. it works, you know? but this boy really kinda likes me. and i kinda like him back... that means this isn't going to work. or will it? isn't that the whole point of why i'm freaking out? sara is finally ready to confess! i'm a committment phobic. why can't i just 'go with the flow'? how come i have to think about it so much that i almost cry because i'm so scared? why am i even going on about this? fuck. i'm sooo sorry. sometimes i just wish that my life was different. that i was a different person who wasn't a fraidy-cat who insists that i want to take risks to be happy. oh man. just fucking stop. ......love, sara ===== all the people'd stare as if we were both quite insane someday my name and his are going to be the same __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo! http://sbc.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Hey now it's the sun, and it makes me smiiiile, all around...
by Declan Haskins 20 Sep '02

20 Sep '02

bah dah dum bah dum, bah dah dum bah dum... Sorry that this email doesn't have anything to do with what's going on in my life or any of that kind of stuff... because frankly, I don't have much that's all that interesting to write about at the moment aside from a little bit of ocasional drama here and there(well, that and the fact that I mostly keep that kinda stuff to myself anyways, so sorry about that). Ok, back to my point, the main reason I'm writing is just to leave everyone out there with those wonderful lyrics printed above in my subject heading from a band I just heard for the first time the other day... I know many of you are familar with them, because it was here too that some of you mentioned them in your posts (thanks!). The band I'm refering to is a +25 member group from dallas, texas who dress up in full white robes, gospel revival garb and sing beautiful, powerful, and touching pop music (not to mention super uplifting and happy stuff), that sounds like a combination of the beatles, the flaming lips, b&s, spiritualized, and the langley school's music project all mixed up together... So to those of you out there that haven't heard of this band or don't recognize the lyrics... I would have to implore you to not let another day pass by without at the least checking out a couple of there mp3's... who know's it might be a life changing experience (if you can't tell I think it's having that affect on me) Maybe someday they'll share the same stage as B&S... now that would be an amazing show not to be missed!!! Oh, the band's name is 'the polyphonic spree' and I hope this isn't list abuse... 'cause I still think B&S are "the bomb" bah dah dum bah dum, bah dah dum bah dum... -Declan :) __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo! http://sbc.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: nyc, j.c., wfmu, ballboy
by Andrea Kittenmouse 20 Sep '02

20 Sep '02

hello, i'm visiting nyc. trying to decide whether i want to move here or not (and go to f.i.t. for further career-minded education). i'm at a hostel and someone behind me is talking about having sex with someone she broke up with last summer and her diarrhea. it's a little distracting, so i'm sorry if this seems short and nonsensical, and not very full of pertinent facts. argh, can't concentrate. i saw a great radio station that i might try to get a show on if i move here, wfmu in jersey city. their studios are soooo nice. so i haven't done my show for a week, won't be back til the 30th of september, whichever monday is closest to that. and i think ballboy of scotland is going to be on my show that day, so maybe if you like them you should check it out in realaudio if you aren't in portland, oregon. maybe i'll ask them the current glasgow gossip. hehe. your friend, andrea kittenmouse radio (mondays 9.00-10.00 pm PST) kpsu 1450 am portland, oregon kittenmouse(a)hotmail.com www.kpsu.org http://web.pdx.edu/~andreay _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: abstract thoughts
by idleberry 20 Sep '02

20 Sep '02

I lay on the bench, and she pulled the bow of the cord of the lace up panel of my skirt. I wriggled a bit, and pulled my skirt down to my hips. She pushed her fingers, her middle finger and index finger, over my belly. Somehow when she did it, it felt soft, my belly. Cool, and soft. She pressed down, and tapped her fingers. "Is this ok? does this hurt" "no. its ok". Behind the curtain, I could hear the sound of a lawnmower, being driven up and dow outside on a strip of grass next to the footpath. She kept the curtain drawn until I had time to pull my skirt back up again. She gave me a script anyway, in case everything was normal. I could just start again. *************************************************** I haven't cared. I haven't cared about anyone really. Thats a lie. I have cared. Just on a smaller capacity than usual. *************************************************** I viewed the world differently. Four weeks. Each day, was different. The level of paranoia would rise or fall, depending on circumstances. I tormented myself sometimes. I tried to avoid confrontations. I avoided talking, for a lot of time. Other times, I picked fights. Look at *everything* around you - take off the blinkers - music isn't important - arguments aren't important - art is not important - its the joy of a society with too much time on its hands to have the luxury to be selfish in its thoughts. I withdrew. I pushed out. I was alone. I was lonely. I was strong. I didn't need people. I didn't need the trivia of every day flutterings. I had something. A stone in my life as solid as I have ever felt, with fuzzy edges of uncertainty. If this was real. If it is real. Its the biggest deal in my life, and I didn't have time to listen to people. I didn't have time to be compassionate if they had bickering arguements and wanted me to listen and tell them they were right, so-and-so is a bad person, you were misunderstood and hard done by and you have your cross to bear and I don't blame you. Stuff that. I needed someone. Some reacted with compassion. Others without. I know who they all are now. ********************************************* At first, I told nobody. I put it to the back of my mind. Ah well, I thought. A few days is ok. It gives me a few days to relax before it arrives. I don't need to suffer just now. It can wait. I don't mind. In fact, I'm a bit glad its not here. Gives me more time. More time before the outbreak of spots, and pains, and aches, and tears and emotions going haywire. *********************************************** A week passes. I'm getting a bit concerned, but i put it down to one of those things. I'm on the pill afterall. Maybe, this is just one of those things. So its late. It'll be here soon, right? Stay off the pill for a few days more. Let my body catch up. ************************************************ Two weeks. It really should be here by now. Thats when it starts. And I tell someone. I tell someone else. Dare I buy a test? No. I can't. Theres too much against buying one. It'll be here soon, maybe. ******************************************* Options. Choices. Do I believe I can handle this, and if so, how much can I handle? ******************************************* Week three. I call the doctors and make my appointment. I live in a daze for days. I snap at people. I cry. I feel trapped. I panic. I worry. I cry. I snap at people. I forget things at work. I sleep. I sleep. I sleep. I don't care about other peoples situations right now. Who said what to whom, who hates who, nip nip nip. I see women with kids. Oh god no. I don't want to be a Pauline Quirk typecast character. Save me from a BBC stereotype. I imagine her. I give her a name. She falls asleep to certain music. She cries. Her nappy smells. I can't buy a test kit. Too much... too much surrounding me. I need privacy. I had to make the doctors appointment through a cunning cloak and dagger manouver. They always ask, at the recepiton what its for. The prospect, of sitting there at work, or at home, saying "Oh, my period is late, so yeah can I find out if I'm pregnant" really doesn't appeal. I hate the receptionists at the doctors. They do it on purpose. They have no thought, no consideration. *************************************************** I like the name Sofia. *************************************************** Week Four. Days to wait til my doctors appointment. I won't take a self test kit. How would I dispose of the evidence? just throw it in the bin? What happens, my folks spot it when they go to throw out something else? At work? ********************************************* The doctor spoke to me. I told her I wasn't worried. I was. Of course I was. The odds were against it, but the chances are always there. She told me to get a tube from the reception, and gives me a note. I need to take the sample first thing in the morning, after I've been asleep, and its all concentrated. If I was to do it now, she says,. i might get a false negative result. Bring it in during the morning, she says. And then they can give me the results in the afternoon. I hadn't been in a blur, not for a week. Post appointment, I walk past the chemists, and newsagents, stuffing my little clear bag with the tube in it, deep inside my handbag. I listen to music, and find myself drifting in thought. I can't imagine.. the reality. The worst scenario, of course, in three years time, and thats ok. But the immediate worst case scenario, in the short term. ************************************************* I'll wait until the weekend, I decide. Less suspicious then. Two doctors appointments in a week? People will wonder. No wondering until I know. ************************************************* I was going to ask if you knew anything, had any ideas. *********************************************** I feel the same. My body doesn't feel bigger. I've not been throwing up. My belly is soft. *********************************************** Theres a woman and a tiny baby in the foyer. I watch them. ********************************************* I smile. I grin. I want to sing. I skip out. Almost five weeks. But eventually, like Norman's bus in the film Ghost World, it arrived. I grin. I smile, I laugh, I email my friends. I text others. ********************************************* Sofia, I'll be your mother when I'm ready. ******************************************** Love Idles x ===== http://groups.yahoo.com/group/corduroysmoke/ starting playground gossip and passing notes __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo! http://sbc.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: More whine, vicar?
by Caitlin Pigtails 19 Sep '02

19 Sep '02

Sinister, I'm disappointed in you. When I joined you, all those years ago, I knew that it was easy to divide the world up. There are many ways to divide people. For example, everybody falls into one of three groups: those who can do maths, and those that can't. Similarly, I assumed the world could be divided into the people who were on Sinister and those who weren't. I was having a chat with The Boss the other day. The Boss used to be an anthropologist, and we talked about how anthropologists and computer people are similar in that both vocations tend to attract outsiders. Anthropology attracts outsiders because it legitimises the whole idea of being an outsider; you're hard at work studying and analysing all the normal people. Don't ask me about computing. When I joined, I assumed Sinister was a natural place where outsiders would congregate. And, primarily, it seemed to be. There are lots of reasons why I'm not normal, but the one I want to concentrate on here is relationships. Normal people have relationships like they drink water. They meet someone, and suddenly, bang, they're going out. They know what to do to get from Point A to Point B. It all happens naturally; they don't need to think about it. It's in their blood. I'm one of those people who can't do that. It doesn't happen. The bridge between my mind and another's never appears. And I kind of assumed that most of Sinister was like that too. Recently, though, I've found that I got it all wrong. All B&S fans except me are deep in "loving relationships". Nearly everyone on #sinister, it turns out, is seeing someone. They can just chat to each other a couple of times and suddenly know that they love each other, that they are made for each other, that everyhing will be all right. That just doesn't make sense. I've even seen people being all romantic and couply at sinister picnics. It's a horrific, awful sight. Holding hands and looking at each other starry-eyed and everything; it makes me shudder. What am I missing, that stops me from being with someone? Why can't I form any sort of contact with the normal people out there? So now, I think I'm the only single person left, and with no hope of that ever changing. It's a lonely place. xx caitlin -- More whinging like this at: http://www.joannou.net/topofthestairs/ The Sinister Recipe Tree Archives, at: http://www.joannou.net/topofthestairs/sinifood/ "When life gives us lemons, we just sit there and sulk about it, in the corner of the room, in a fetal position." - Matthew Henderson, on the Sinister mailing list. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: But i like girls who drop cups in cafes
by Jonathan Skinner 19 Sep '02

19 Sep '02

So how is every little thing. you probably won't have noticed my absence and i barely did. But apart from that how is every little thing with you? I am actully feeling in quite good fettle and am struggleing to settle into a post summer routine SO firstly- guided by voices were unreal- i really really really enjoyed that gig. They have such energy on stage and his voice (or memory) never gave up once despite the incredible amount of booze consumed even though the bassist looked like he was going to keel over at any moment. It was rather short though it was on 2 hrs and 45 mins and they only played 50 or so songs but i suppose begsy cannot be choosy. Anyway there is an incredible array of gigs coming to cork and the general vicinity. The frank and walters , teenage fanclub , supergrass ( to dublin but i can look past the money side and just enjoy them) and *Ahem* sugababes or however you spell it. AAAANNNNNNNNNYYYYWAY where was i. Ohh yeah i was just about to solve the last theorem but i forgot it. AHH yes onto the title. I had this huge conversation with someone i went to school with about girls in Cafes and the different types. 1 of them was like the soup nazi in seinfeld who could be and was in general a bitch. The second is the one that is just there to pay the bills and get by in life. This is the type i like , the type that drop cups and have a look verging on the embarrased side of *i really don't want to be here*. But speaking of Cafes it seems i am soon to be working in one. Since Java Joes (RIP) shut its doors and the Yumi Yuki club (Sushi bar) turned into a trattatoria we found that cork lacked a certain what is it the french say, i don't know. So one drunken evening a group of us decided that if we ever had the money we would open one in cork and make it a success. Well this was in a pub and there was plenty of beer taken but then the next morning in bistro over breakfast we spoke about it more and more and it has taken a hold over each of us, Separetly we have been scouring the shitty streets of cork for a nice enough venue. But the money was the all the important thing and we have a sniff of a silent backer so hopefully all will work out- keep as many extremities as possible crossed for us as we try to invigourate some cool into the crappy city ( think a cross between the cafe in so i married an axe murder and a normal cafe) it is a shame to see guy barker didn't win the mercury is it not and it is however (ooh content) it is nice to see an online blog by mr murdoch , speaking of blogs i should really get one together and put photos and stuff up considering i have a rather nice digital camera that is a lot better than the one i ordered even though it is a bit bulkier but what me worry? anyway i should really go. plays to go to. peoples asses to kiss plague and pestilence to you all jonathan +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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