(This email will be entirely in brackets, as it is almost entirely
parenthetical. It's a word! Look it up. I'm sorry if some, any or none
of you tried to post to Sinister since I last said it was back and
possibly working - it WAS and then it maybe WASN'T again for a bit, but
it is again now. Be gentle with it, it's a little creaky. Please post
ramblings! And if you post and get an error let me know. Oh yes.)
(Oh and hi! Honey x)
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+
To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
This doesn't seem to have gone first time. Maybe I should take that as
a sign, but I'm not going to. Attempt #2
xx
Ian
Ian Anscombe wrote:
> Well, hello Sinister. Its nice to see you again. I'm not sure if I
> ever posted to you drunk before. It seems almost unfeasible that I
> didn't, and yet I don't remember such occurrences. I'm not really
> sure that I'm drunk. I've had such a measly amount of alcohol that I
> should be more sober than a Londoner waking up to find they've voted
> for a ridiculous Tory Twat to be mayor, but it doesn't feel that way.
>
> Anyway...what was I going to say? I have no idea. I'm sure there was
> a point to this but fuck knows what it was. And fuck is strangely
> absent, so I have to recreate my own points from scratch.
>
> the sinister picnic then... that was nice, 10 years on. It was a
> strange situation, walking up primrose hill, very late, but having
> driven to London myself - the first change of many. I saw a little
> indieboy, lovely hair and his equally cute indiegirl walking up the
> hill. The weather was just right, that mix of sunshine and cloud that
> seemed to grace every sinister picnic, and always made me think of
> such events. I felt like I'd been walking ages, and was looking
> forward to seeing you all sitting at the top. It was a far cry from
> the first time I attended - seeing you all outside Camden station and
> actually walking away initially, before coming back to say hello. And
> yet, it still felt exciting. Perhaps this is one of the benefits of
> not living in London - meeting your fellow Sinikids still feels
> somehow eventful, and unique, and different from real life.
>
> Perhaps that was the ghost of Sinister-picnics past, the indie couple
> walking up the hill. It reminded me of the people that used to come -
> some of them were us, although I never really had the hair, or the
> clothing, or the girl for that matter - but you all seemed so styled,
> and cool, and vaguely intimidating.
> What does the ghost of Sinister-picnics present resemble? A strange,
> many-limbed beast. Yes, there's still a bottle of something alcoholic
> in one hand, but there are new limbs. One holds the hand of a small
> child, and though I'm sometimes slightly jealous this seems a
> marvellous thing. One might hold a professional qualification,
> quietly tucked away for the occasion, a picture of a partner, or a
> sense of self-belief that didn't exist before. Oh yes, we've grown,
> as I think a singer once opined. And we're not so much joined
> together by a strange mutual relationship with a band any more. But
> that's okay.
>
> I saw a new post, from a fragrant princess, the other day, and she asked:
>>
>> I promised you a long time ago that nothing would be lost right?
> and Eric said something that ties in with it:
>
> If You're Feeling Sinister: the first boy I really had feelings for,
> the boy that gave me a mixtape whose side A contained an entire album
> from this strange band called Belle & Sebastian that he loved. I never
> fell in love with the boy, but my relationship with the band is still
> going strong, almost 10 years later.
>
>
> Mine isn't - really. But Eric highlighted something. We do have a
> relationship when we fall in love with a band. I don't think I ever
> had such a deep one with a group of musicians. And I felt a bit hurt
> when they started seeing other people, but they'd warned me from the
> start that this is what they would be doing. I can't reconcile the
> glibness of recent releases with the incredible tenderness and
> fondness for the outsider apparent in the early days. I guess me and
> those musicians grew apart, but I met a lot of beautiful friends
> through this relationship, and those are people I can honestly say
> I'll never forget. Ally said something standing on the hill, looking
> out over London, about it all seeming the same, but different, us
> being old now. And I felt simultaneously a pang for a feeling of
> belonging I'd once experienced, and a gladness that I didn't have to
> chase after that any more. You see, ghost of picnics present, I like
> you as you are. I hope we'll keep meeting like this. When will I
> see you again?
>
> I think I've been very idealistic about Sinister over the years,
> partly because it was the first place I felt really accepted. I chose
> to ignore the cliques and the fashions, because they didn't suit my
> idea of what I...we....were about. Taking a step back and realising
> I've taken my place in those groups is an interesting perspective.
> There are people I rush to speak to at picnics, and people I've
> somehow fallen into the pattern of not speaking to. Some of us did
> eye-contact and a passing comment. I wanted to say more but that old
> fear still exists. Fear that its not okay, for some reason, to talk
> to someone - and why shouldn't it be? We've fallen into strange
> self-defeating patterns of not speaking - comfort, or fear, or some
> combination of both. Maybe this lack of chasing belonging isn't such
> a great thing after all.
>
> I'm not sure if any of this is new. Any club has sub-groups. The
> strange occasional assumption that longevity is some sort of marker of
> quality or verity is an odd one. The excitement created when a member
> of some golden age that only existed for...eighteen months, eighteen
> weeks, eighteen minutes??.... pops up still makes me smile and sigh in
> equal measure. The people I've loved here haven't been experienced
> through that age, though they may remember it, so many newer people
> have given something of themselves to our collective as the last 11
> years unfolded. We've experienced friendship in the present, and
> we've changed the present through that friendship - and its this, not
> some marvellous, mythical past, that make Sinister live on.
>
> Gayle said nothing remains the same, Honey said nothing is lost. In a
> strange sort of way, they're both right. You don't really lose
> something when you choose to let it go. Its through trying to keep
> everything the same, clinging, terrified of it slipping away, that we
> lose things. We lose them here, and now, and all we have is a past
> when it was really ours to look upon. I'm glad we've grown, and we're
> old, and there's still enough in the present to keep us meeting on
> hills, miles from home. I'll meet you again, strange, many-legged
> picnic monster - and I'm not even going to attempt to name-check your
> parts. I'll only miss one, and every part is vital.
> And, in a nod to tradition, this isn't the e-mail I intended to write,
> but what the hell... I kiss you, Sinister list. In a nice, platonic
> way, of course. I hope I'll see you again soon.
>
> xx
> Ian
>
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+
To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Sinister.
Oh! How seeing the archive made me smile!
Although, it seems to have disappeared again.
I was at University when i found the archives were back, on a three hour break between classes.
I attend Heriot-Watt in Riccarton, Edinburgh which is in the middle of sodding nowhere, there is little else to do on three hour breaks except go to the gym or sit on the internet. Except on sunny days, then a walk around campus is another option, it is quite beautiful- although it only kills a little time. Actually, I hate uni and I grudge all the time I spend there, but it is a means to an end and I am prepared to put in the time to get what I want from it.
I had put IYFS on in the car, a day or two prior to the archives being put back. I had just felt like a change and there was nothing else I could be bothered with.
I rarely ever listen to B&S these days, but as I listened to the album that day on my way home from Uni I felt my heart swell, I thought about picnics in parks on sunny days, and how much fun it had all been and all the wonderful people I had the pleasure of meeting. And I remembered the way I used to feel, the way I felt on my way to my first ever picnic, it was everything I though it would be and more. I made some lasting friends, and some that faded away. I remembered stupidly late nights chatting on #sinister and the #sinister stats, it WAS fun and I remember laughing a lot. And I remembered coming across this a while back, I'm almost scared to post it in case it disappears... but it hasn't yet so: http://home.swipnet.se/~w-63235/sinister/people.html
I remembered always having something to do, somewhere to go, somewhere to be and there was always someone there. And it WAS all because of Sinister.
I never thought I would ever remember feeling that way again.
Maybe one day I will even feel that way again.
I was away for a few years, and I stopped going to Glasgow and picnics and meeting new people, and for those few years I forgot all about it. And when I came back, so had most everybody else.
This month sees my 9 year anniversary of my first post on Sinister.
Wow.
Nothing remains the same.
#sinister is still there, and auntsadie still remembers you, come along and say hello.
Who knows who you might end up running into.
post fearless,
Gayle E. Anderson.
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+
To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hello, I know there are people out there...
It´s strange reading things that I wrote 7 years ago and beyond. As I
turn into my 24th year, i realise that nearly 1/3 of it was spent on
this list. I grew up, in body at least in that time and the world
started to change beyond all recognition, all changes that were
reflected in this list. When I joined, i think i was in 2nd year of
secondary school, i was 14. Now I am 24, living and working in
Barcelona and with an amazing girl.
I have been going through the archieves, looking at my own posts and
posts that i remember fondly, its like hearing mention of long lost
names that you recognise and want to reach out to again.
It´s nice to see some action on here again. And its nice to have our
pasts back as well.
L.O.V.E
Jonathan
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+
To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
hello sinister
i've spent this morning reading the archives. and quite a lot of last night, too. and, i suspect, i shall read the archives some more this evening while keeping one eye on the mayoral erection results coming in. thank you to honey for doing all the housework.
if you haven't had a look at them, you really should. maybe everybody just likes looking at old photos of themselves at some level (and, i admit, i'm quite amused by my own posts), but there's something more than that going on here – honey's right about them being a massive historical document, but not just in terms of b&s's (and their fans') progress and the history of the social web. they're also really interesting reflections on the news in general: the posts that immediately followed 9/11 (and 7/7 to a lesser extent) are beautifully written and fascinating to look back on with 7 years' hindsight.
then there's all the little memes that ran around the list: i came across juicy lucy's poetry parrot somewhere, and a particularly eloquent ink polaroid by stevie trousers somewhere else, and remembered what an education the list gave me. and, in fact, leafing through the archives again, i'm being educated a second time round.
and then of course there were the fights. i always found these quite funny, in the same way that i smile whenever i see footballers kicking chunks out of each other – it was always so petty and sniping, and distance has only improved it. but rising above the general ire, always, was mark casarotto's utterly brilliant bolshiness (for just one example, try this for size: http://www.missprint.org/archives/html/sinister/2003-03/msg00020.html) quite spectacular at times. i remember thinking that i quite wanted to be him in 2001 – i was quite a fan. as the art of writing a snotty email has been rarefied in recent years, as everybody learns the nuances of email and how to stick the knife in electronically, casarotto really was ahead of his time.
reading the archives has really made me want to see some sinister people again, but unfortunately i can't come to the picnic. it's my girlfriend's birthday on saturday and i don't think it would wash if i changed our plans so that i could go and hang out with some people i met on a belle & sebastian website 8 years ago. but if anyone's going to see tindersticks in the evening, who knows, you might bump into me – please, do come and say hello.
but go on, read the archives. reward honey's hard work in restoring it all, and reward your own hard work that you put in 5, 6, 7 or however many years ago.
love,
(never thought i'd type this again) asm.x
================================
"He's strictly a pain in the ass, but
he certainly has a good vocabulary"
- Holden Caulfield
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+
To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Well, that's what Honey says, and I have never not believed Honey before.
I tried sending this a couple of months ago, in that brief flurry of
activity before Sinister broke, and I'm just egotistical enough to
think that someone might find it interesting:
It's so nice to read others' memories of our fair band. I have so many:
Tigermilk: dorming in downtown Manhattan, the soundtrack to so many
walks through Chinatown, Soho, and the West Village on my way to and
from class
Lazy Line Painter Jane: the tiny little flat in London I shared with
someone from California, a neighbor starting to dance right at the end
of You Made Me Forget My Dreams when it gets a little bit techno, her
face falling when Photo Jenny started
Legal Man: the record store I bought it from one early summer day in
Newark, Delaware, a summer home from college
Jonathan David: a short-lived relationship I had, listening to that CD
over and over again as we hid from a New York summer
The Life Pursuit: cold winter mornings commuting to work on the 7
train from Queens, pulling into Grand Central just as "Act of the
Apostle, Part 2" would kick in
And of course:
If You're Feeling Sinister: the first boy I really had feelings for,
the boy that gave me a mixtape whose side A contained an entire album
from this strange band called Belle & Sebastian that he loved. I never
fell in love with the boy, but my relationship with the band is still
going strong, almost 10 years later.
I'm glad it's still going strong for all of you, too.
Best,
Eric
--
"Why are the machines so sad?"
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+
To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
