Do you ever have those days when something happens and all of a sudden, huge
chunks of life make sense? Not the "ooohhh...so HE shot JR!" kind of things,
but
*BAM!*
the universe realigns itself and everything becomes clearer.
Like putting on 3D glasses for the first time and making sense of the
blue-and-red lines that kind of looked like something, but now it POPS UP at
you and SHOWS YOU THE WORLD!
That kind of happened to me today.
And it had to do with you, in a roundabout way.
So I thought I'd share it, and reveal my secret.
Here goes ... *deep breath* ... Until today, I didn't know what Chickfactor
was.
Beyond the Belle & Sebastian song, that is.
I idly read the references to the Chickfactor Balls. "Ooh, a ball!" I
thought. "I like balls!"
*no I don't. they make me wear pinchy shoes and I have an awful time because
my feet hurt and I whinge a lot*
"Oh, it's in London/New York/Not right down the street from me. I guess I
won't go." *end of active interest in matter. am new poster. don't know
about cool things that old sinnies do. aspire to find out one day, but as
for right now...ooh, shiny thing!!! attention distracted*
So I never bothered to find out it was. I figured it was something I'd
figure out in time, et si non, tant pis. *been watching too much Amelie*
Then I picked up the Toronto Star. It was free on campus.
It was just after 11 am, so I intended to read something meaningful about
Remembrance Day. But of course I ended up reading a sidebar about pop music.
And that's when I realized the sidebar was about the Chickfactor Ball in New
York.
And that's when I realized what the song was about.
"Pretty girl says 'Hi...
What's the worst job you've had?
What do you read?
What's driving you mad?'"
Call me Archimedes. But epiphanies, no matter how many people have already
discovered them, are the coolest things ever. Don't you think?
In other news, November would be a lot more pleasant if it would stop
raining the kind of rain that sneaks under my hood to get me right in the
face. And if October hadn't stripped all the trees bare before they even had
a chance to turn colours. I spent all last fall in Glasgow lamenting the
fact that I was missing all the glorious red and green and gold, and this
year the stupid leaves either went straight to brown or were blown off the
branch before they even had a chance to sneeze. Stupid autumn. Didn't it
know I was home??
Anyway.
If I was a character in a B&S song, I'd want to be the mayfly. Then I
wouldn't have to decide what the ~ I'm going to do next year, cause I'd be
dead. And mayflies don't have much time to sin, so I'd be going to the big
streetlamp in the sky...sweet.
But then I'd never go to a Chickfactor Ball.
But I prolly wouldn't care anyway. I mean, dude, I'm a bug.
marisa.
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
** Offbeat **
Sheffield's Real Indie Night
presents...
a night of Belle and Sebastian
playing the usual Offbeat mix of classic indie, punk-pop, C86 and
new indiepop underground plus loads of Belle and Sebastian
tracks...
Friday 22nd November, 2002
from 9pm to 1am
@ The Raynor Lounge, Sheffield University Students Union
Admission £3.00
Free Lollipops, stickers, plus a Belle and Sebastian quiz; prize
includes a real Dog-on-Wheels plus a 'Dog on Wheels' CD, both
signed by Stuart Murdoch.
For a poster / flyer for the night, check out
http://www.shef.ac.uk/~offbeat/scan/opos67.gif
For the playlist from our last Belle and Sebastian Special check
out
http://www.shef.ac.uk/~offbeat/frames/pl231101.htm
* VERY IMPORTANT - 1 *
We do not do advance tickets - it is first-come first-served on the
door on the night.
Arrive early to avoid disappointment - the venue has a small
capacity and we are expecting lots of people. So to be sure of
getting in, turn up before the doors open at 9pm!
* VERY IMPORTANT - 2 *
If you a non-student, also see
http://www.shef.ac.uk/~offbeat/frames/wherefra.htm
for directions and admission details, or email me.
For more info' on Offbeat such as other dates, past playlists,
reviews, etc, check out
http://www.offbeatsheffield.com/
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+
To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hi hi!
A morning of HOUSEWORK reminds me of my free-postin'
days earlier in the year, when unemployment was still
fun and a spotless house a worthwhile way to spend my
days. Today I have hoovered the landing and stairs!
and washed the sink! And removed a scary amount of
extrememly long hairs from my Dyson's rotating brush.
Which was less unpleasant than it sounds.
I also tidied my room, without finding my missing
burgundy-and-charcoal sock. It's my favourite sock!
Along with its twin, of course.
I've started having seriously irritating computer
problems, all the more irritating cos I have no idea
what's going wrong. When I go online, my PC decides to
refuse to collect anything from the interweb for long
periods. It'll then start working fine, from 10
seconds to 5 minutes, then radio silence will return.
Aaargh! I also do my job from home via the internet -
I can't have it malfunctioning for even 30 seconds as
I ned to be in full connection all the time. Can
anyone suggest what might be wrong? Please email me
off-list if you can.
I went to America a couple of weeks ago. It was great!
I may even get around to writing about it at
http://www.joannou.net/biondino at some point...
Mark xxx
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Everything you'll ever need on one web page
from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts
http://uk.my.yahoo.com
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
*at the end of this post the whereabouts of Australian listee's is revealed. But please, for your own good, read this warning about the cult of ~ first*
sinister, i can no longer stand by and watch as the evil ~ once again rears its ugly head. The ~ is pure evil I tell you, pure evil! It has to tried to win your trust by pretending to be sarcasm, but it has built its power and is about to unleash itself on the world.
Banjo Patterson was the first to warn of the ~, when he wrote about the effect it had on a swagman. Go here: (note the effort people go to to hide the secret of the ~, with this site requiring a mind
bending puzzle to be solved before you can proceed. After hours of algorithms and standing on my head the solution came to me. To proceed, you must click "Proceed"! Ingenious!)
http://www.uq.edu.au/~mlwham/banjo/waltzing_matilda.html
I have no doubt that when Banjo first penned the poem he wrote Waltzing Ma~, but then probably realised that computers hadn't been invented yet so whited ~ out and wrote tilde instead.
Note how Banjo hints at the evil of the ~, with the swagman becoming jolly in its presence. Then it causes the swagman to try and shove a sheep into his bag (if that isn't strange behaviour then i don't know what is!), and ultimately end his own life so he wouldn't have to give up the ~.
Banjo was a clever man though, and chose to white out "tilde" and write "tilda" in its place, to hide the evil secret of the ~ forever. He underestimated the power of the ~ though, and it is back.
Let this be a warning to you all. Don't be fooled by false prophets brothers and sisters. The ~ may appear to be all nice and "jolly-making", but before you know it you'll be stealing sheep to feed the ~ habit. Then, when people realise the influence ~ had had on your life and try to help you, you will run from them, choosing to end your own life rather than give up the ~.
terry
Australian Listee's
There is at least:
6 in Perth (Kin, Jim, Jeremy, Terry, Helen, Michael)
4 in Brisbane (Steven, Grant, Nicholas, Alex)
3 in Melboure (David, Sophia, Neil)
1 in Adelaide (Nathan)
1 in Sydney (Chris)
1 in London (Marianna, ex-Perth)
1 in Glasgow (Katrina, ex-Perth)
And there is Lawrence in NZ too.
Thanks to Katrina, David, Steven and Sophia for their help. I'm terribly sorry if I've forgotten anyone. If anyone wants to get in contact with people in their area I could possibly help.
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Miss Maddie Minx* murmured something to the effect of:
"Sending viruses to people isn't a nice thing to do? I'd better revise my
Christmas list then."
On that note, I hereby commence the third* annual Sinister Christmas Present
Exchange!
Here's how it works:
You send me an e-mail to Lleweth(a)hotmail.com with your:
* Name
* Full Address
* The number of presents you would like to send out (since it will
correspond with the presents you will receive)
and
* Whether you have a preference of sending to someone inside your country or
not as foreign mailing can get right pricey and I have great respect for you
cheap bastards out there. If geography makes no difference, then there's no
need to mention anything.
After everyone who is interested has had a chance to reply - all your names
written on individual scraps of paper, a sedated gray cloche, and I shall
all play Chuck Woolery and match everyone up with a partner. Your day shall
be brightened with the sparkling correspondence from me telling you who that
lucky sinister kid you're giving to is at which point you should then whip
out the crazy glue, pipe cleaners, and your pet ferret to devise a Christmas
present that should wow anyone.
1. This is just for those who wish to participate. It is by no means
required nor are there any requirements - meaning you can still be in the
nursery or be embittered and wasting in ILE all the time and have just in a
moment of nostalgia and dementia tainted haze have wandered back to your
ole' stomping ground.
2. In the words of the Greek chic who set this shindig up a few years ago -
"This is not restricted to just people that celebrate Christmas. It just
happens to help the spirit of exchanging presents so other people that don't
celebrate Christmas are very welcome!" Well, it was in those words except
for less capitalized, a flagrant disregard for grammar, and way too many
exclamation points than I can use without getting nauseous. Oh and the Greek
cheek is Joanna and she rules even if she thinks it's ok to deny our list
with her posts.
3. It's really up to you as to what kind of gift you give - as it can be
anything from something you made to a mix to your favorite book (guess who
will be getting a copy of The Basic Eight, baby!) to a chocolate covered boy
(though I would like notification if you plan to give away the latter.) As
long as it adheres to the postal code and doesn't involve bodily fluids, I
think we'll all be happy - especially the lucky llew who gets the chocolate
covered boy.
4. I would like to make a request only to sign up if you intend in actually
participating because really my shoulder isn't made for people crying on it
because they didn't receive anything even though they sent out a matching
set of hello kitty mittens and mufflers.
I can't even stress how much I actually sincerely mean that. If you think
there's a chance that you might get too involved in exams, work, seducing
the neighborhood mall's santa, or family to participate, please don't. We
still love you. In fact, we'll love you more if you don't sign up for this
when there's that possibility. I know from last year's experience that
people get really sad when nothing comes there way after they've put alot
into a gift. You really don't want to be responsible for the surprise
instantaneous disappearance of a whole pound of chocolate, do you? I mean
unless you're a cute boy and it's being used to coat yourself that is.
If you have any questions or need to get rid of a large sum of money
quickly, please feel free to contact me.
yours,
Laura
*This is the same Miss Maddie Minx who once declared that her goal in her
educational pursuits was to slip a lyric from a song by The Smiths into one
of her college papers. However, when I suggested that she use the line of,
"I want to live and I want to love. I want to catch something I might be
ashamed of" in her paper on who she'd rather sleep with Sylvia Plath or
Virginia Woolf (by the lyrics you can obviously see she chose Plath) I was
only laughed at. Oh, one day my sagacity shall be fully respected indeed!
** It might have been going on longer than that but I just chose a number to
make it sound more official.
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
hello i know this might sound like pointless smug
braggery, but this week i got a little letter from
stevie, signed stevie(the guitarist) it was very cute
and warmed the cockles of my soul that such a busy
chap could take the time out to reply to me and such a
nice reply too i'm wittering now so i'll go away
x
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
When I got up this morning my mind was still reeling What exactly was the
~foundation? What would ~ mean to me? What exactly were the profound
experience it promised?
Any cult you had to send money to and had bribed a postman was surely
genuine and I was just about to send my life savings (£2.76) to the ~
foundation, when I stopped dead in my tracks.
That Ian bloke was involved. From painful past experience I have learnt he
is a shady character. Just look at the time he persuaded two innocent
victims that Jacobs Ladder was an illegal substance which should picked at
night and then smoked. Look what happened to those two poor soulsÂ…both ended
up fleeing the country...rumour has it one spends his days walking around a
bit lost mumbling to himself whilst the otherÂ… well I donÂ’t think you really
want to know what happened to herÂ…
No some caution was needed here. I needed to find out more. Trouble was how?
Carsmile Steve had already thrown some light onto the mysteryÂ…the ~
symbolised the ancient myth of the Northy Snake. But how had Ian suddenly
learnt the powers of this mysterious creature? Society had changed. People
were no longer:
“happy bunnies humming happy bunny tunes.”
What could the Northy Snake possible mean to a “legion of bedroom saddo
devotees”.
In my experience, the answer to a puzzle always arrives when you are least
expecting it and whilst in the shower pondering the mystery of the ~ I
looked up. There written on the handle of the shower was something which I
must have seen every morning since I had lived in this house:
MIRA
~~
shower
I fell back in shock.
It had to be a clue, 2 whole ~Â’s right there in my very own bathroom. I
still couldnÂ’t quite fathom what it could mean. Frantically I searched the
bathroom, but could extract no further clues from the toothpaste, shampoo,
water heater or bottle of bleach.
I slumped down at my desk. I really thought I had been onto something then.
Instead, being the good geneticist that I am, I got on with an honest days
work plotting to mutate and clone the human race.
I was staring at the keyboard slowly and clumsily typing my plans. That ~
just kept staring me in the face. Taunting me by its very presence. What had
the letter to Ian said?
“p.s. you're nearly 30 now, its time you learnt to use capital letters”
I looked at the ~ and there is wasÂ… the capital letter of #Â…(at least it is
on my keyboard)
I decided it was time to look at all of the clues:
1) I had suddenly looked up to “see” the brand of the shower had been mira-
so if I substituted the “a” for “see” or rather the letter C I get… MIRC…
2) Ian was wanting us to JOIN the cult
3) and # was the alternative name for the cult
4) and finally the headquarters were in BirminghamÂ… very SINISTER.
I stared at the clues long and hard. There just didnÂ’t seem to be a patternÂ…
Ahh well not every mystery can be solved. Time for a cup of tea I think.
Take Care,
Rachel
*************
With the current crop of disposable jaw lines and manufactured inanity, it
seems that we need our heroes now more than ever before.
http://www.friendsoftheheroes.co.uk
*****************
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+---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+
To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Playing darts is fun. I bought myself a dartboard the other day and played
darts for ages and I was playing so well the dartboard fell down and so I
can't play darts anymore until I fix it.
On a hungover sunday morning the best thing to do is to sit down and listen
to music and eat greasy hungover curing breakfast, I am doing two of the
three things because I have no food to make breakfast with. I need to go
and buy some food but no idea what to get.
Since I got so bored being not able to play darts I started writing
postmodern literature, it's quite a task without actually knowing what
postmodern literature is, so I just wrong pages and pages and pages and
pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages and pages.
The most favourite food of mine is probably eggs, so tasty. And you can do
so much with it, there are these adverts in the UK TV in which they give you
loads of easy recipes for eggs and at the end the slogan was "Eggs - fast
food and good for you" and they're right. For some reason my flatmate hates
eggs though and thinks that I'm a freak for eating so many eggs. You'd
think they'd think I'm a freak for other reasons...
My postmodern novel ended up as pages and pages and pages and pages and
pages and pages consisting of words that always drive me to sleep. I am
guessing that that makes it a piece of postmodern literature. Because I
remember listening to some bands at ATP who I was told were "postmodern rock
bands", and they drove me to sleep. I needed to research some more.
Oh I'm really missing my dartboard, well, not missing, because it's right
here lying by the wall like a spare wheel in a mechanic's garage. I need to
get some of those screw holding things that help secure a screw to a wall.
Or else I'll have to think of alternative entertainment.
Disorientation apparently is often a prominent feature in postmodern
literature, like, the author would try and confuse the reader and often the
reader won't be able to understand the text in one go and will have to go
back and read things again.
Eastenders is on in a bit at least, but Trevor's dead now and that Irish
bloke, too, Little Mo is getting annoying now, there's only so much of that
sulking look I can take, actually if it came from girls not 15 years my
senior it would be fine. Eastenders need to get some good looking actors
and actresses. And why aren't there Shoreditch tossers in Eastenders?
Really doesn't sound fun to me this postmodernism malarky. Give me THE SUN
everyday. Actually the sun would be a bloody nice change with this crappy
weather at the moment.
Nachos. I've decided, with salsa and eggs, and red bull.
Ken
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Hi sinister people,
I've been coaxed into making a first post, quite possibly inspired by
new newfound knowledge that i'm not the only brisbane person on the
list (hey steven). Its all a bit scary - all these established fans
with their bittersweet stories, their in-jokes and their seemless
integration of belle and sebastian quotes into everyday language.
(Who'd ever have thought belle and sebastian fans could be
intimidating?)
Well my name's nick, i'm 19 and i'm from brisbane australia. Its
exciting that there are more brisbane people out there, feel free to
send me messages if you like. My musical life changed forever a few
months ago when someone from uni unwittingly gave me The Boy With The
Arab Strap and Belle and Sebastian turned from being one of those bands
that "i've always been meaning to get into" to one which i most
certainly was. A number of albumns later and i'm attempting to convert
everyone.. the Boy remains my number one, though.
On another bris-related note, is anyone out there going to see the
gorgeous augie march next thursday? Strange bird soothes (addle
brains), excites (train) and amazes (drowning dream) me and i'm looking
forward to it intensely. Any other augie fans?
Finally, I'm going to be going to San Fransisco in December and I was
wondering if there was anyone from there (with similar music tastes)
who could maybe fill me in on some of the venues or give me any helpful
internet sites..
Thanks beautiful people!
(that wasn't so hard)
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe
send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
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+-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+
+-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+
+-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+
+-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+
+-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+
+-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+
+-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+
+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
ah, sinister...
well, it's been a while. i've been computer-less for (gasp) almost
two months. i don't know, i think i lost track of time. time means
nothing! it's all about space now, people. but what do i know.
well, i know a bunch of things, really. but "knowing", well, what
does that really mean? esp when there are so many things that one
certainly does *not* "know".
see how things get all confused when robyn doesn't have her computer
and her internet access? the world gets Abstract. everything is all
parenthesized, quotified, capitalized with Meaning, and other such
theoretical sod. if i didn't enjoy it so much i'd say it could kiss
my ass. which, boy, can it.
but i have my computer back! all fixed up. hoorah, etc.!
concretely, then:
montreal remains good. though cold. an' it's only gettin' colder,
they say. i'm disturbed (perhaps only minorly, i don't know) by the
idea that winter is something you "get through". like a tunnel. a
really long, cold tunnel. and while tunnels are fun/exciting/new when
you're travelling at 120km/hr on a highway in the mountains, they're
an entirely different thing when used as a metaphor for the long,
cold canadian winter. (which, as you know, does not exist on the
canadian west coast, making me feel somewhat removed from this side
of canadian identity. maybe i should be *glad* to get to experience
this? will i have some mid-winter revelation? or will i simply
concede to wearing long johns, warm boots and a toque at all times,
muttering about identity only to keep my lips from freezing?) hm.
getting through.
how much of life is about reflecting on it? sometimes too much,
sometimes not enough. i don't know. it's funny, the nature of
reflecting. as in, i remember spending days at work, working and, of
course, not working, and listening to music on headphones the entire
time. often i would just listen to one or two cds over and over
again; they became or acted as background, yet i was still conscious
of them, their content, how they made me feel as they poked in and
out of my consciousness. but what exactly was this music that had
such a day-long impact on me? and why would i spend the entire day
listening to it?
i can't always recall the former (can only look at my cd collection
and guess) and can only come up with theories for the latter. i guess
i'm just a little disturbed b/c i remember the feeling, but not the
details. i remember the headphones pressing against my ears, and the
keyboard pressing up on my fingertips, whether a wind was coming in
the window, whether i was cold. and vague feelings of happiness,
emptiness, tiredness. i suppose it's the difference between
sensations, and memories of them, and, well, not-sensations, those
things that don't impress primarily on the body but instead impress
more strongly on the intellect. i think that these things can get too
easily lost. the intellect being such an unmappable place.
object? subject? both? neither?! agh.
ah... so, to sum up: i have been feeling cold. and i have been
thinking too much.
i quite like the new future bible heroes cd. only stephin merritt
could make a song about vampires dancable... but right now i'm
listening to charm of the highway strip. and i've been listening to
it for hours for some reason/another/no reason at all.
phenomenologically yours,
robyn
p.s. sinister, i heart you so bad. also, i saw the raddest patterned
tights in a really expensive department store. they were *modernist*,
i tell you. alas, i am post-post-modern. and so is my poverty.
=====
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright
~~~
Robyn Fadden rfadden(a)yahoo.com Montreal, QC
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