- Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: Quoth the Parrot, "Nevermore!"
by robin stout 07 Nov '02

07 Nov '02

One of the best things about a train journey is that, as you totter slowly along like a poodle on a dog track, you get to see the holey fences, knotted washing lines, crooked sheds and chintz curtains of Modern British Suburbia. Even better, at this time of year, if youre lucky youll get to see a procession of Tesco, Sainsbury and Asdas finest amateur fireworks displays. At one point on my journey home I felt as if I was a passenger on the train from Back to the Future, and the firework lights were bubbles of space glue as the sky melted around us and our line branched into a wormhole. Of course, if that had been true Id have arrived home on time, instead of having to trudge home in the cold and wet, gloves and hat, at a quarter to bedtime. When I was young dad would nail a Catherine wheel to the side of the rabbit hutch and give us our own little fireworks display. Even when it was in full whirl and the rabbits were jumping about with red, yellow and pink sparks reflected in their trembling eyes, I was looking over the fence at the neighbours display, which had rockets and bangers, golden fountains and roman candles. The neighbours always have a better display than you do thats the law until youre thirteen and can buy fireworks of your own and EXACT YOUR REVENGE.* So on one hand I was lucky, walking home all by myself, because I could see all the neighbours displays at once. I was thinking this to myself as I walked up the hill towards my house when a very noisy firework indeed fell at my feet. The blackened husk lay twitching for a bit and for some reason, instead of going home to put the kettle on, I bent down to have a look at the brightly coloured label that could still just be made out on the battered blob. I looked closer. It wasnt a label at all. In fact, it seemed to be a feather. The firework turned over and looked me in the eye. Squawk it said. Poetry Parrot is that you? The parrot, for it was he, painfully gave a little nod. Squawk it said. But, what happened to you? Are you okay? The parrot painfully shook his little head, and his one remaining feather fell to the ground. Squ... he said. And then he dropped dead. +++ As I dug a parrot sized hole in the back garden, alongside my vegetable patch, I began to think how it was funny that our rabbits always seemed to pop their furry clogs at this time of year too. Must be the weather or something. +++ A mouth full of toast, I opened the letter without getting too much butter on it and moved into the sunlight. It was from Lucy Alder and it ended something like this: ======================= And then I sent him on his way, with instructions to visit... *Mr Robin Stout* ...because Im reasonably sure that hell look after the Parrot and keep him alive WONT YOU? ========================== My toast became as tasty as yesterdays socks. All that responsibility and what had happened? The famous Poetry Parrot was taking composting lessons from the worms in my back garden. Well, its not like it was my fault, though, was it?? I felt a little guilty and walked out to the little mound of soil. At least he had gone to a better place. I was reminded of a poem: For an old wizard - by John Hegley your boy brought me to you in the hot Welsh hills I had lost a love and thought Id not recover soon after my arrival you dished me up a plate heaped to stupidity with mashed potato and all I thought of was her the next morning you got us up at eight (youd let us lie in til late) and you made us spade out potatoes until that baking days close until all I thought of was potatoes As I whispered the last words the very spuds underneath my feet began to a-quiver and a-tremble. I looked down at my feet. I blinked. There was the Poetry Parrot, shaking soil out of his shiny, colourful feathers and looking at me with an enigmatic smile a tricky job for a parrot at the best of times, even more so when hes just climbed from an early grave. Oi, fuckface! What did you go and bury me there for, eh? Down in the jungle next to the carcass of a dishy young toucan, thats the place for me, not in some stinking vegetable patch in your cocking yard next to your cunting potatoes! Oh, I replied, a little hurt. I thought that, well, seeing as you were dead... Sorry about that, by the way... Eh, whats that ya big bastard? cursed the parrot as he dusted off his gleaming plumage. Sorry, you know, for burying you when you werent dead. Werent dead? Oh no, I was dead alright, good and proper, you could have stuffed a pillow with me feathers and I wouldnt have even chirped. So how come...? How come Im as handsome and gorgeous as ever?? Well, you reading that godawful poem must have shaken up some strange spirits. Theres a lot around at this time of year, you know. And so, the forces of evil being what they are, they decided that as punishment for you for that stupid verse, theyd turn me into a zombie parrot, he said, fixing me with a yellow bloodshot eye. So bend down a bit, would you, so I can eat your brains out. What?? Eat my brains out? Yeah, sausage head. Thats me job, you know. No offence. No offence?! Ive done you a favour, you stinking bird. You should be grateful! Now, shake your feathers then beat it. Fly to Leicester and to Maddie. Im sure her brains are tasty, if theyre anything like the rest of her. Oh I suppose so, said the Parrot. Your brains arent up to much anyway mate. Probably taste like rhubarb. Im off to find some brains full of juicy thoughts. Toodle pip. Then with a hop and a flap he was off, flying over the charred fences, sooty washing lines, burnt sheds and melted curtains of Modern British Suburbia. So, sorry Maddie, theres a zombie parrot on the loose and he wants your brains. But I think a good poem would do just as well... Robin x *erm, don't do this kids! _________________________________________________________________ MSN 8 with e-mail virus protection service: 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Royal Recognition?
by Dean Gillon 07 Nov '02

07 Nov '02

You know when queenie warned about mysterious, sinister forces? Well... do you think.....oh never mind. Dean XX __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: name me one thing you can't improve by covering it in melted cheese
by David Hewitt 07 Nov '02

07 Nov '02

Gday Sinister. Sometimes I worry about you lot. Rachel Sunnyset is trying to clean fish while theyre still alive and flopping about the kitchen, and Miss Marianna is leaning her head back and drinking the rain... in London?! Ive seen that rain, and I wouldnt go out in it without a radiation suit. While you lot are all enjoying the autumnal delights that the Northern hemisphere has to offer at this time of year, down here at the antipodes, were still wading through spring. And really, its not that bad. Theres a bit more sneezing, and the leaves arent as pretty, but at the moment its rather pleasant. Actually, come to think of it, there seem to be a few more Australians kicking about the list than there used to be maybe we should resurrect the idea of a picnic or get-together of some sort. Meet you at Ayers Rock at lunchtime, then? Grand. Oh, sorry, that should be Uluru. My bad. Seriously, though, Ive met a fair few of you now, but never on home soil. Ive moved to Melbourne (from Adelaide, but the long way around, via New York), and Ive even managed to drag an unsuspecting Sinistar back with me. Back when this was discussed some time ago, we were all too spread out for it to be feasible. And then everyone (myself included) buggered off somewhere else for a while. But if anyone fancies a picnic and/or a hearty display of pintsmanship at some indeterminate place and time, please drop me a line. Plus, if any of you lot from overseas (particularly the ones whove been so welcoming to me when Ive darkened your respective doorsteps) happen to be heading down under, you know who youre coming to see. Oh, and after youve seen them, you really should pay me a visit too. Thats it, actually. Oh, and dont bother with the new Apples in Stereo record. Its bloody awful. Bulk love, -Vanilla Flavoured David. PS: This isnt directed at anyone in particular, but Ive tried to read things that arent in paragraphs, and it hurts my brain. So, from now on, I cant be fucked trying. Sorry. _________________________________________________________________ MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba BABY! Love is stronger than THUNDER!
by Miss Marianna Longmire 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Drums. Did I ever tell you when, growing up on a farm, our creek would often overflow during a torrential downpour and my brother, sister and I used to go DIY white-water rafting down it on pool floaties? No? Oh. It was dangerous. And so, SO much fun. So, despite the occasional hankering for the warm delights of home, living in Blighty is a continual stream of joy due to the almost continual stream of nature's love juice and the fun you can have with it. There are, of course, the usual delights associated with rain - splashing in puddles, standing still with your head tilted back, mouth open drinking fresh rainwater, staying in and snuggling. but personally, the BEST thing about rain, is the way it inspires pop artists and more importantly, pop video directors. Of course, I'm not talking about those clichéd video clip shots of an artist looking all melancholy out a window whilst the rain beats down outside, beating in a way that reminds them of the time their heart beat that fast, mocking the "my heart's been attacked by a cheese grater, then dipped in molasses and fed to the horses by, sigh, THE ONE" pain that they feel now. Isn't it sad? Doesn't she look pretty singing her song, despite being the hollow shell of the girl she was before. Isn't she /such/ a tortured artist therefore making her inane lyrics seem mildly profound? Incidentally, are artists actually tortured or indeed starving these days? All the ones I come into contact with who are STRUGGLING ARTISTS (copy write) still manage to pay £800/month rent for a room on Old St. I like them. Rather, I like making amusing comments about their hair cuts under my breath as we air kiss. NO! I'm talking about sexy rain. The kind of rain in film clips that provides teenage boys with one handed pleasure after viewing (Sabrina's Boys, Boys, Boys - oh, but she's in a pool. But it's water [which comes from the sky - gosh!] so close enough.) The kind of rain that makes young girls want to BE in the film clips with the singers. Case in point, Ash's "Goldfinger". Mark Hamilton vigorously makes out with a girl whilst the rain is, raining, all over them. It's totally lustastic and makes me giddy with delight. As does Take That's "Relight My Fire" where, for the first time ever I briefly toyed with the idea of moving my allegiance from Mark over to Jason Orange. Simply 'cos he was getting' all wet with a girl in the shower. He looked good. Which was as surprising as it was sexy. That is, a little. I wish Belle and Sebastian would make film clips in the rain. WET T-SHIRTS, yo! Lyrically, rain has inspired some of the greats to pen a ditty or four. Can you say, "It's Raining Men"; "The Raining King and Queen"; "Here comes the RAINdeer section - Anthem of a sodden youth" and; "I'm gonna come down like a thunderbolt on yo' ass, showering you with slammin disses while you talk to muh HAND soggy boy!" My own personal favourite is, of course, Milli Vanilli's "Blame it on the Rain". Their follow up single "Don't forget my number" is pretty great too. I remember that well from earlier this evening when I watched it on my Smash Hits Party 89 video tape. There's a plot and everything! Rob (or Fab) is a playa and gets the number of a hottie. He then goes home and tries to call her, but as he does, Fab (or Rob) walks in and the note (with number) flies out the window. Cue a mad and often hilarious romp around London IN THE RAIN to find the digits. Oh, and they're sporting Lycra bike pants, thumbing their noses and have choreographed dance/jumping about like loons moves. Aren't they great? I like my men the way I like my Milli Vanilli: stylish, crazy dancing buffoons whose words belong to someone else. Gosh. In fact. Realisation. I like myself the way I like my Milli Vanilli too. Making out in the rain and not caring that it's ruining her coiffure, Miss Marianna Longmire xXx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: saturday night's alright for television
by s. lord 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

it was a long weekend - long enough to take till tuesday to feel fully recovered - even though there are still shockwaves of discontent flying around - i feel genuinly good about myself and how things went - i had a friend come down to visit me - and that in itself is usually a chore - it is not that she is a bad person or anything - it is just that she makes bad choices - and she has gotten into a way of asking people what to do before she does anything - i lived with this girl for a year of her life - i left the situation feeling about 45 - and that i had just reared a 6 year old child for a year - it was time consuming and when you didn't have time it was a problem - she would kick and scream and throw tantrums often - if things didn't go her way she would break down completely and cry for hours - so when i left that situation i rediscovered my life - that was a fantastic time - so it must be known that she is also a lovely girl - just a bit messed in the head - so she was coming down from minneapolis with a friend to go to a party with me on saturday - everything was good for the most part - on friday we got drunk on my porch listening to 'boy with the arab strap' - lovely album - but it is not quite fall music - so we mixed it up with the white stripes and everything was fine - on saturday we spent all day nursing hangovers and getting ready for the party that night - the party was sort of a belated halloween costume party - we couldn't go out on halloween because most people had work in the morning - but the weekend we decided was good enough - so we got dressed for the party - the party was dubbed white trash and one had to wear something white trash like to gain admittance - funny mostly everyone wore something from the 80's - a black sequin and pink taffeta bridesmaids dress - a lemon yellow wedding dress that looked early 80's with a huge bow right on the ass - and i myself had a lovely peach and baby blue plaid suit - once at the party we danced to really bad 80's music and disco - everything was going well - people were happy and there was much merriment - but sometime during the night everything started to unravel - it came to my knowledge that the girl i came with was missing - after sevral failed attempts to get me to dance she suddenly disappeared - so i stared to look for her around the house - she was eventually found crying under the deck outside - and it was not my fault either - she said everyone was ignoring her - and she was pretty drunk - shortly after that incident my friends boyfriend was then found in the laundry room with another boy - oh dear things are getting exciting - aparently he was keeping that boy away from another boy who aparently wanted him - ? - and to top off the evening - someone stole all the hosts perfume out of her bathroom cupboard - that was very low of the person who did that - we were all pretty shocked about that - i still do not know who nor have a clue what type of person goes to parties looking to pick up a few new fragrences - oh well i believe it shall remain a mystery - - the rest of the night was spent tending to the boy crying in the bedroom - the girl crying about perfume - the girl angry she was being ignored - and the boy angry cause he was caught - thank god someone showed up late and drove us all home - ----------------------------------------------------------------- - interesting i was speaking with a friend of mine last night and she commented on how the evening seemed to fly by - the first three hours went very quickly - but once everything fell apart time just stopped - it was quite true the more i thought about it - everything did get much slower after te first problem arose - i can still remember the girl running up the stairs in slow motion - eyeliner coursing down her cheeks murmuring - 'ralph lauren, where did you go' - although most of that would be the liquor talking i am sure - but oh well - so it goes - i think that will be the last party that i will be going to in a long while - suddenly sitting at home and watching television on a saturday night does not seem so bad - _________________________________________________________________ Add photos to your messages with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: seven years of river walkways
by Sunny set 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Before the his idea occurred to him, Stuart David fished the Leven for seven years I have no idea what the Leven is like (I suppose it must have a lot of fish for a person to stand fishing for that length of time) but having just returned from a walk with my dog, belle, by a river I doubt it could be that bad to stand by a river for that long. Im not sure I would really like to catch any fish mind you. They tend to be fairly slimy horrible creatures. I remember being violently sick when I tried to clean a trout myself. So slimy! When it escaped from my hands and flew across the kitchen that was the last straw. Not that I have anything against eating fish (yes Im a hypercrit) Although Ill admit that, that time in Portugal when I went to a restaurant that served a million courses of fish all for one price, which wasnt at all slimy, I was quite sick the next day. (Nothing to do with the jugs of wine they served with it) But Getting back to the topic. Im sure Stuart David must have quite enjoyed standing fishing. Why else would he do it for seven years? It wasnt his job or anything look: work is a curseStuart David visionary poet cursed it before trying it And as I think I have just explained there is only so much fish a person can eat before becoming illso why? The river where belle and I went today was peaceful and chaotic all at once. We didnt go down to the water today so Im not sure if there were even any fish in it. Once we leant over the bridge and looked over at the fast moving brown water. No one disturbed us and the only sounds were that of the roaring current and a few birds oh and belle whining because we were standing still. Im sure I could stand there for seven years looking out at the rocks. Watching the trees change colour and the river rise and fall as seasons changed. Imagining the length of time that the river had been there carving great channels in the surrounding rock. I could even accidentally forget to put a hook on my fishing line just to make sure I didnt catch any fish The fish may even get to know me after a while. Im not sure if fish are very affectionate but Im sure they would appreciate the fact that I was standing there day after day feeding them maggots then again perhaps the fish might prefer bread. Maggots are fairly unpleasant too. I think all in all Stuart David had his head screwed on. I might decided to fish my local river for a while You never know if I wait long enough I might just manage to hear the sweet voice of Stevie Jackson coming over the reeds. Take Care Rachel ************* With the current crop of disposable jaw lines and manufactured inanity, it seems that we need our heroes now more than ever before. http://www.friendsoftheheroes.co.uk ***************** _________________________________________________________________ Add photos to your messages with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: mac and me.
by richard john gillanders 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

something----------------------------------------- if I had to choose one person who has influenced my life more than any other at all. I would choose myself. if I had to choose another that has changed the course of my life. I'd have to choose someone else. if I had to keep choosing more and more people. I might, eventually, choose macauley culkin. yes. it is amazing, yet it is also sort of true: macauley culkin has affected my life to an extraordinary degree. it all began when I saw the cover of this month's FACE. or maybe it was earlier. maybe it was when I saw 'home alone.' or maybe 'uncle buck.' or maybe when I heard he'd got married. or when I saw 'home alone 2: lost in new york.' or when I saw 'my girl 2' and wondered why he wasn't in it. or when I thought about it and remembered he'd died at the end of 'my girl' or some shit. actually. I haven't seen 'my girl 2.' have I? but when ever the fuck it happened...it made an impact. yes. a hero of our time. of our time. I suppose it's the only something something something. and for all the masses he something something and what for something he had something of something something. he is/was/something: a hero of our time. or a hero of his time? whatever, something. but seriously. M.C. [as I would call him if I were his friend and he let me call him M.C.] has been present or a part of some of the most momentous moments in modern history. indeed: perhaps not HIStory. yes, maybe not, but DANGEROUS-for sure. mac [as I might call him too and yeah] appeared in michael jackson's 'black or white' video for that song. he was a kid on some stoop someplace and rapping and wearing a cap and I think michael was smiling at him, maybe. and I seem to remember his mum and dad were played by, like, some famous people too? or maybe they weren't. actually thinking about it I recall that his dad's VOICE may have been provided by dan castelaneta and checking for how I should spell his name I find that it's actually spelled dan castellaneta. and that I'd almost got it right. but that I don't know how to spell the otherit is, in fact, macaulAy. Not macaulEy. haha. but: yes. dan castellaneta didn't provide the voice of culkin's father at all. he provided home! r simpson's voice AS ALWAYS. but why there? no. the father was potrayed by george wendt of NORM! cheers fame. [whatever.]. now, his mother was played by norma jennings from 'twin peaks.' isn't that interesting? http://us.imdb.com/Credits?0317313 you'll see that adolf hitler and wesley snipes and magic johnston and iman also appeared. what a coup! I've pronounced that differently there so that is sounds like a sort of an insult or something. yes, at the age of seventeen [maybe] macaulay married rachel miner [I think] and then they split up a couple of years ago. a couple of years ago too, but unconnected, perhaps, , macaulay played a guy called michael alig in a film called 'party monster.' I saw a documentary about the stuff that michael alig did. I saw it about five times, I think. he died and something else. like, he killed a guy. and had some drugs. I haven't seen that film, though. haha, checking my facts on this one too; I find that that wasn't a couple of years ago but, actually, next year. oh well. believe it or not: macaulay culkin is only seven months older than I am. it is up to you. I do know that macaulay likes sonic youth or pretends to. I do too. maybe macaulay is a fan of belle & sebastian and their music. maybe he's lurking here right now. reading this. etc. maybe not. but if he isif you are, macaulay: thank you. love, richard. [this post was not about that funny film with a funny alien in it called 'mac and me' but, rather, about the movie star and actor MACaulay culkin and about me too. read it again, please.]. if you'd like to write to macaulay, you can reach him here: mister macaulay culkin 124 west sixtieth street new york city new york state 10023 __________________________________________ Join http://www.toast.com today for your own free, flash-based webmail! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Numbnut butter
by Mark Casarotto 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Im sitting here chewing on a Reeses NutRageous! (I dont know if it has an exclamation mark, but if it doesnt, it should) bar I bought in Minneapolis yesterday. In London, it has an air of the exotic about it, like when my mum used to come back from LA laden with Hershey bars which tasted of sick. And they still do! Is this a weird American thing, enjoying the flavour of vomit? It certainly turns the concept of a Hersheys Kiss from a sweet sounding chocolate snack into a scary and unpleasant reminder of that teenage party experience with the really, really drunk chick... I have a jar of proper peanut butter downstairs. Smooth, I think it is. I dont think Ill be eating it on toast, although I was fed my first ever peanutbutterandjelly sandwich a few weeks ago, and it was certainly palatable. So maybe if I feel like a change of nourishment Ill give it a go. I actually bought it in a frenzy of thinking Id actually start cooking properly earlier in the year. I dont know what brought it on, as Im in a cooking trough at present, with little more than stuffed pasta and the occasional sausage passing my lips (matron). The idea of a delicious satay of some description is beginning to make my mouth water, though, so if anyone has any decent recipes, please feel free to send them to me! Id better get this on topic. If the topic is PEANUT BUTTER! No, seriously, folks. Take my mother in law. Ahem. Its quite a trial trying to associate peanut butter with Belle and Sebastian, and you may wonder why I would bother doing such a thing. Well, I want to. Oh, and Archel said I had to. Pleasingly, there are about 381 results when peanut butter Belle and Sebastian are inputted into google. However, at www.googlefight.com, peanut butter WHUPS THE ASS of B&S, with almost 9 times as many references! Personally, B&S will always mean more to me than PB, but Im obviously in the minority. I once used vegetable oil to lubricate the valves on my trumpet. That was 5 years ago, and I havent touched it since. What do you thinkll be inside the valves if I try to remove them? And will it have the viscosity (and crunchiness) of peanut butter? I am expecting it will. I might have to resurrect my trumpet. Only problem is, I used to play it when I lived in a detached house, and now that Im in a block of flats it might not be so much appreciated. Oh, and I gave it up because I couldnt reach the high notes. It was okay, though, cos I took up the euphonium instead. Well, I say okay, but at least people in my music GCSE class didnt actually *laugh* at me during lessons when I was playing the trumpet. So I gave it up and took up the flute. Look! http://www.missprint.org/sinister/picnics/MarkFlute.html All the old picnic photos look so much fun. I wonder if well ever see their like again? Of course, if all the Newcomers and lurkers were to come along to some sinister gatherings, it would be like a phoenix rising from the flames. Feel free to email me off list to ask if anythings going on, cos we tend to meet up at least weekly (in London, this is). Ah go on. Sinister needs its new blood. There may even be some peanut butter in it for you Hugglez, Mark xxx __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Hamster Dance
by MyMomSays＠aol.com 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Honestly, I wasn't surprised when my friend Pamela told me she was raising a hamster family. I remember when I became friends with her five or so years ago she catalogued all of the hamsters of the past to me--there was Maddie, Oliver, Patsy, and numerous others whose names have escaped me. But then she informed that she was named her hamsters, not joking: Stuart, Isobel, Sarah, Richard, Mick and Stevie. The little shivering, hairless lot of them are a mini incarnation of B&S! At home, I am not sure I could stand a little cage full of those noisy little beasts. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Snickers who lived for about four years and who would keep me up at night running around on his little treadmill. Later on, my sister got two hamsters who never received names (and who were also brothers), but they were sort of fat and unfriendly. Later I found that one of them had eaten about half of the other, and I just couldn't look at the nasty beast any longer and gave him to my 6th grade science teacher. Maybe a week or so ago, Kirsten Kenyon told me that she found a mouse in her apartment! She then told me a story about how she and Jack Gillanders had trapped a different mouse and then discovered it was a little baby, and when she took it to the park to release it, she felt guilty about breaking up the little mouse family. Shame about that one, innit? Little mice are so cute, but there is something just kind of creepy about them. Hamsters are nice because they have no tails and like to stuff their cheeks until it looks like they have the mumps. The other night, Pamela sent me a photograph of her little hamster family that she is raising. I wonder what the band would think if they knew there were hamsters running around with their names (thankfully not their likenesses). I admit, they were heartbreakingly cute. But what kind of person decides they want to raise a hamster family? It sounds like a mentalist activity to me. One of my best mates has recently started to raise squirrels that he's found orphaned in the wild (wild?). He found his first squirrel, Towelette, hanging off his balcony by her toe, and decided to rescue her. She now lives in his bedroom and poos in the most inconvenient of places (Namely, inbetween the keys on his piano). He was hoping Towelette and his other squirrel, Gregory, would mate so he could have an entire squirrel family. Egads! Right now I'd better run along, I just thought you all might enjoy my little funny story about the mini B&S running around out there, stuffing their faces with seeds and pissing into cedar chips. B&S--may you never be half-eaten by your brother! Yours, Mandee May "Inconsolably Okay" +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Hamster Dance
by MyMomSays＠aol.com 06 Nov '02

06 Nov '02

Honestly, I wasn't surprised when my friend Pamela told me she was raising a hamster family. I remember when I became friends with her five or so years ago she catalogued all of the hamsters of the past to me--there was Maddie, Oliver, Patsy, and numerous others whose names have escaped me. But then she informed that she was named her hamsters, not joking: Stuart, Isobel, Sarah, Richard, Mick and Stevie. The little shivering, hairless lot of them are a mini incarnation of B&S! At home, I am not sure I could stand a little cage full of those noisy little beasts. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Snickers who lived for about four years and who would keep me up at night running around on his little treadmill. Later on, my sister got two hamsters who never received names (and who were also brothers), but they were sort of fat and unfriendly. Later I found that one of them had eaten about half of the other, and I just couldn't look at the nasty beast any longer and gave him to my 6th grade science teacher. Maybe a week or so ago, Kirsten Kenyon told me that she found a mouse in her apartment! She then told me a story about how she and Jack Gillanders had trapped a different mouse and then discovered it was a little baby, and when she took it to the park to release it, she felt guilty about breaking up the little mouse family. Shame about that one, innit? Little mice are so cute, but there is something just kind of creepy about them. Hamsters are nice because they have no tails and like to stuff their cheeks until it looks like they have the mumps. The other night, Pamela sent me a photograph of her little hamster family that she is raising. I wonder what the band would think if they knew there were hamsters running around with their names (thankfully not their likenesses). I admit, they were heartbreakingly cute. But what kind of person decides they want to raise a hamster family? It sounds like a mentalist activity to me. One of my best mates has recently started to raise squirrels that he's found orphaned in the wild (wild?). He found his first squirrel, Towelette, hanging off his balcony by her toe, and decided to rescue her. She now lives in his bedroom and poos in the most inconvenient of places (Namely, inbetween the keys on his piano). He was hoping Towelette and his other squirrel, Gregory, would mate so he could have an entire squirrel family. Egads! Right now I'd better run along, I just thought you all might enjoy my little funny story about the mini B&S running around out there, stuffing their faces with seeds and pissing into cedar chips. B&S--may you never be half-eaten by your brother! Yours, Mandee May "Inconsolably Okay" +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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