- Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: a recipe tree rarely starved
by terry underwear 01 Jul '02

01 Jul '02

Hello, if anyone missed it a couple of weeks ago, here is the proposed format for my recipe tree idea . the names of all the people in/on the recipe tree will be placed in a circle, and a wooden spoon will be spun*. whoever it points too has to kiss me**. after that, they have to email me at least two recipes (more if you are keen). i will then forward them on to everyone in/on the recipe tree. you can send in recipes for main meals, cakes, biscuits, pastries,chocolate body paint with sprinkles, homemade muesli, anything you like really (i think i read somewhere that mr murdoch used to make his own muesli. prizes to anyone who sends in struarm's muesli recipe). BUT AT LEAST ONE of your recipes must be vegetarian. And also, your recipes must be accompanied by a musical quote concerning food &/or drink. For example: "Nice day for a sulk The girl smells of milk Her horsey teeth explode around us And we run for cover she found us In the cheapo bar with a bag of chips" there are no more rules. some very lovely people have offered to do covers so you can make your very own sinister cookbook. i'm not sure how i'll get the covers to everyone but i'm sure i'll think of something. if you have not yet registered your interest please do so promptly (offlist) because the sinister wooden spoon will be spun soon. have a nice day terry *this may not actually occur. **this probably won't occur either. ____________________________________________________________ Win a first-class trip to New Orleans and vacation Elvis Style!. Enter NOW! http://r.lycos.com/r/sagel_mail/http://www.elvis.lycos.com/sweepstakes/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: sorry
by michael grant 30 Jun '02

30 Jun '02

sorry for the short post, but b&s on BBC2 now! glastonbury footage. now! michael.xx "get out of your apartment. meet a member of the opposite sex. stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. quit your job. start a fight. prove your alive. if you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic." - tyler durden. _________________________________________________________________ Join the worlds largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: All I want to do is just embrace this fat young boy
by Dean Gillon 30 Jun '02

30 Jun '02

Hi Ubersinisterants Just a quickie from me as someone asked. I've already replied to Neil but B&S were meant to be on last nights liquid news but they LIED. the scamps. they weren't on at all and I'm going to write to the following people to demand to know why not. 1. Klepto the happy starfish 2. The Barcelona Philharmonic Orchestra 3. Carlos my next door neighbour who used to be in the mafia. 4. Mr Blobby 5. Bob Bolder. 6. Plato. There was a bit on before on "the state of independents" about Jeepster, including bits of the dog on wheels (B&S doing mindless graffiti shocker!)and is it wicked not to care videos, but it only amounted to about 5 minutes and I taped over it last night with Life of Brian. It's a classic. congratulations to all the Brazil fans. I liked the way the cameramen always managed to find the fit looking birds in the crowd (always blonde and/or with a bikini top on), especially in the brazil games but also portugal/spain/anything a bit latiny (is that a word). Cheered everything up for me but then again I am a bit sad. Things that have been puzzling Dean this week - part 2. Why did the three musketeers always use swords? Am I being thick here or should they not use muskets? Maybe there were strict gun controls in France at the time or something. If anybody could shed some light on this please. I'm not sure how to add links but I'll give it a whirl. http://www.miniaturebull.com/ very cute tiny cows for some reason. Sad today because the tapas bar has shut down - sob. And, of yes, because I had a few comments before, when I said I had my back door kicked in I was talking in a literal sense and not, um, an analagous? figurative? whats the word? sense. you set of anally obsessed perverts! Loads of love Dean XXX Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer than another. The Lovely Oscar. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Benicassim hotel room
by Jordi Trenzano 30 Jun '02

30 Jun '02

Hello hello: If any of you is coming to Benicassim and wnat to avoid the camping zone, i'll let you know that I booked a double room on a small hotel, and for various reasons, right now it's free. It costs 180 euros for 6 nights (from thursday 31st to wednesday 6th), including lunch and dinner. If anyone's interested, just send me a private answer. Sorry for the list abuse, miss Linda. Jordi +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: PICNIC details for GLASGOW NEXT WEEK
by idleberry 30 Jun '02

30 Jun '02

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! ***the picnic next week in Glasgae*** You are invited to attend the merriement and laughter and initial twee shyness before getting it on with each other of next weeks glasgow pubnic. We shall be meeting at 2pm. And going to West 13th. I've never been there before, no idea how to get there. Ask directions from a friendly policeman. And if you don't like my arrangements then do it yourselves and stop asking "whose arranging it?" pff. Thankyou idles ===== http://groups.yahoo.com/group/corduroysmoke/ starting playground gossip and passing notes __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: OFFTOPIC: plea for One Dove rarities and Tanya Donelly live stuff!
by Kin WOO 30 Jun '02

30 Jun '02

hiya just finished off a gruelling med rotation at fremantle hospital, all the while feeling slightly screwed over but nevermind! this was followed by an emotionally intense week of working with terminally ill patients, the one i was assigned to went into a coma. dearie me:( holidays have also come and gone, and my characteristic good intentions (to catch up on all my work!) has proven for naught:) but a pretty good holiday nonetheless. LOVE the "storytelling" soundtrack but refuse to see the movie (even if it does the wonderful Selma Blair in it). love "fuck this shit" sounds like a beautiful Henry Mancini old school instrumental and "Mandingo Cliche" is hilariously perverse. of course love "big john shaft", "stoytelling" et al. Last yr, wrote to list about getting One Dove rarities and got a reply. but unfortunately never heard from the guy again (think he had to go somewhere for a while) so am writing again to plea-sorry!:) If anyone would have the following One Dove rarities: Camp Freddie's Lament Transient Truth (death of a disco dancer) Fallen [Nancy & Lee mix] Fallen (Darkest Hour) Fallen (Dawn) Fallen (Dusk) Transient Truth (Sabres Fuzz Dub) Sirens (demo) any live One Dove stuff or recent Tanya Donelly live stuff (her lovely "beautysleep"album era) especially like the session she played on kcrw's "morning becomes eclectic" (that aired tuesday april 23, 2002) please contact me as I'm desperate for them! I have stacks of rare/live/unreleased/promo stuff from a immense amount of bands like B&S, Tindersticks, Belly, One Dove, Dot Allison, St Et, Black Box Recorder, Palace, Smog, Low and stacks more. please email me off the list at daftpunk(a)tartarus.uwa.edu.au thanx heaps and sorry to bother anyone not interested in above artists hope to hear from some of you soon:) later Kin Woo "With a star upon your shoulder Lighting up the path as you walk" Stuart Murdoch +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: isobel, big brother, stevie wonder, flirting, b&s, porn, and more.
by michael grant 30 Jun '02

30 Jun '02

HEY SINISTER! it's 2am and i feel like staying up late, so you're probably gonna get a long rambling post out of my insomnia, (is it still insomnia if you've just finished off a 2litre bottle of coke? didn't think so). i shall try my best to have headings where possible so you can skip parts that are of no interest to you. ISOBEL ------ nobody seems to be missing her much. which is bad. she was lovely. i liked her voice. i loved her cello. i urge you all to go back and play your b&s records, and try and imagine them without the cellos pieces. the songs would be much less without her, and although i'm sure they will continue to make great music without her, i for one will miss her presence greatly. *sniff* and damn, is she sexy?! ;-) BIG BROTHER ----------- Kieran Devaney said: "Another thing which has been puzzling me .... is the continuing popularity of that Big Brother show" sorry. im an addict. i do admit that it's less entertaining than the previous two series, but i still watch it. i like to laugh at stupid people. i like to bitch about people i'll never meet. i like to watch kate in her bikini. i like to shout abuse at tim. and jade. and adele. and tim some more. (the ginger, arrogant twat.) i don't watch eastenders, or hollyoaks, or any of that crap. big brother is the same sort of thing, except you dont have to put up with the shitty acting. it's trash tv, but it's addictive because over the 64 days you get a feel for these people. you dont have to waste time judging different people every day (like trisha, for example), you can just pick up your ill-formed prejudices from the day before. oh, and i AM allowed to be nasty to these people, because they put themselves in there, knowing the public scrutiny that comes with it. if i was to meet them on the 'outside', id probably give them a bit more of a chance, but i will never meet these people, so i shall continue to judge them and laugh at them and shout hateful slogans at them. that's the point of the show. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - vilkas talked about lots of things. one was rediscovering albums. i did that this week with stevie wonder's talking book. i used to dismiss it as 'superstition' [which mister john played at nationalpopleague yesteday. marvellous.] and some other songs, and it was neglected many-a-time in favour of innervisions. but, having regained both albums last week, having been on-loan for quite a while, i have been totally overwhelmed by the brilliance of the songs on talking book. go buy it. it's simply outstanding. i believe, you and i, blame it on the sun, are all fantastic tunes. stevie wonder is a gifted crafter of songs. she also talked about being a 'socialite' and a 'serial flirter', but still not being able to find a honey. "Fuck all that. Meeting people is easy. Teehee. But when it comes to l-o-v-e, I shrink back into my turtle shell. Why do i do this? It drives me up the fuckin wall!" i know exactly what you mean. i am THE serial flirter. take last night at pop league for example. i licked miss juicy lucy's sweat right off my pint glass, (you don't want to know how it got there, trust me), i played footsie with miss carey, i got hip-shakingly funky with mister ally cook, and i even got the dj to strip (slightly). and it doesnt stop there. gav was so infatuated with me, he even drew my portrait, and lord keith of edinburgh kept writing down his phone number for me. ;o) but even with all this major flirting action, there's still no 'proper' action for ickle mikey. so if there are any hot sinister ladies (or former members of glasgow indie bands with ample behinds and lots of newly-found spare time) who want to instigate some inter-list smut action with my good self, drop me a line. thanks. otherwise, this massive flirt-a-thon will just keep on going, and i dont want to know what'll happen if it's still here when 'big, hot' mark casserole gets across the border next week. finally, vilkas said: "Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt." i like that word. it's possibly the only swear word that still retains that sense of taboo. which is the whole point of swear words, surely? it's still the only word i can't say in front of my mum. BELLE AND SEBASTIAN ------------------- that huge vomit-inducing shitbag of a cuntmonkey, mister robertson said: "Our heroes Stuart and Richard will be guests on BBC Liquid News tonight on BBC Choice at 8PM." so, anybody see it? can't seem to find any mention of it on the bbc website. i missed it and was hoping to find out if it was going to be repeated, but cant find a darn thing. and did anyone actually record it for our favourite foul-mouthed management guru? or have we finally reached our limit, and are refusing to do favours for that horrid, rude little man? :o) FUNNY THINGS ------------ marriana's www.theonion.com link was hilarious, especially.... "In 1982, the company introduced "Shakes McJunkie," an emaciated addict who robbed characters of their possessions, which he then sold to buy McDonald's shakes. He was later reworked as "The Machead," a homeless, wild-eyed Big Mac addict who turned to panhandling and gay prostitution as a means of supporting his severe burger habit." flippin' genius. as is this.... http://www.missprint.org/sinister/mhonarc/199804/msg00003.html just clicked on the search button on the sinister homepage 'cos i was interested by the word 'porn'. i love those random search words. you find such gems in the dark distant vaults of the sinister archives. you don't want to know what comes up if you enter 'stuart murdoch' and 'leather'. but just in case, you better know that one of the entries that appears is by a certain miss genevieve. hmmmm..... there are LOADS of fun things i want to say. more about pop league, about the belle and sebastian gig, about me, about books..... and so on, but it's now 3.30 and im going to bed. i shall probably return tomorrow if i can't think of anything more fun to do, and bore you to tears once again. but before i got, i think i have earned the right to do some shameless promotion, on behalf of others, all of this parish though. if you live in (or near) glasgow, and you like indie, go here: http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/glasgow-indie if you like the national pop league, and perhaps want look at a blurry photo of me dancing, or maybe play five-a-side football, go here: http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/nationalpopleague if you would like information about the winchester club, go here: http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/the_winchester_club right, goodbye. stay smutty. michael.xx ps - a quick get well soon shout out to miss idles and anyone else suffering in the summer weather. i like your idea of popping off to alaska for a month. think the nhs would pay for it? always worth a try. "get out of your apartment. meet a member of the opposite sex. stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. quit your job. start a fight. prove your alive. if you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic." - tyler durden. _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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None
by James Danson-Hatcher 30 Jun '02

30 Jun '02

Hello Lasses/lads hope you're all in perfect states of felicity. I'm having real problems getting my eyes to shut, I aught to be asleep in bed, ready for whatever tomorrow has on the menu. Thinking of those lucky siniglastonians dosen't help. So, I've popped my head out of the open window into the light of quarter past four morning its got straight,flat,light grey clouds all about the distance, they've got orange edges. and jet-streams from last nights aeroplanes are now like invisable ink messages that've now been highlighted visable from dark. Hopefully in daytime they'll be chalklines on delftware. Next doors garden is toy littered and has various clothes(underware too) strew about the place. The scent of one of those plants that colour the night has quietly and gently made itself known, though rather diluted by crisp morning moisture in the sky. Will the birds be so enthusiastic in London? I wonder what I'll miss. I know I'll miss the emptiness I can easily escape to while far into the county, I shaln't miss the emptiness that can easily creep into my mind from this place. Someone(who I think was called Gill) asked about Haruki Murasawa. I'm going to point you in the direction of Norwegien Wood which is written by said Jap bloke and is quite one of the best stories I've read since.....ever. If like me, you'll most likely find yourself so enthrawled(?) you read it twice over within a 24 hour period. Yeah, its dead good. Picnicing Are we? There was mention of one atop primrose hill on the 13th. But who are we playing against?(at football) Oh and lots of people could help make me *feel at home* by means of Tia Maria. James Danson-Hatcher. _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: This is immunity for virus X. I hope you would enjoy it.
by John Jennings 29 Jun '02

29 Jun '02

i'm sick of getting emails that say things like that. everyone keeps trying to send me viruses... i'm not sure what i've done to offend them... maybe it was subliminal or in a past life... its not gonna work anyway cos i use netscape not outlook. so there. i've been in south wales for a couple of days. and very nice it was too. i tried to find some people who could speak welsh ("i've been learning your bluddy language so we're bluddy well going to talk welsh alright??!") but failed miserably (dammit)... i bought some welsh books from whsmith ('horrible histories' no less) and a gorkys albums from a lovely little shop in cardiff... the 'introducing' album... its actually a compilation of tracks, all of which i already own, but i felt as though i ought to buy something and the prospect of buying more gorkys music was too exciting; gorky's are utterly brilliant, i occasionally forget and then rediscover them... and then, after the exciting exploits of the last few days, i've just spent the last 15 minutes trying to get cat vomit out of the carpet. sigh... idles was talking about hayfever and just to annoy her i am now going to offer my diagnosis... i was prescribed loratadine but doctors aren't allowed to prescribe that anymore for some reason so i was put on desloratadine which is crap. so then he put me on some different drug (ciritizine??) which made no difference whatsoever. and then my nice doctor prescribed steroids or something. and they don't seem to have made a big difference either so i've resorted to high doses of decongestants and keeping my eyes closed. i'm a wee bit scared of my doctor, he appears to have no sense of humour whatsoever... if you try to crack a joke or say something to raise a smile he just looks at you blankly which makes you feel really stupid. he probably thinks i'm insane. i know i'm supposed to mention b&s somewhere in here... haven't been listening to them recently though... i've gone off storytelling quite a bit... hopefully they'll be on glastonbury coverage though... erm... dum de dum.... who knows why i pressed the 'compose' button. i apologise. JP --- www.ilonline.co.uk +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: so you've never played duck duck goose before?
by Kieran Devaney 29 Jun '02

29 Jun '02

Dear Sinister, The people across the road are gardening. Not the ones with no plantlife in their front garden (I think Ive mentioned this before, they stripped it completely bare two summers ago and have left it like that since. I blame the dad of the family, who can sometimes be seen standing just outside his front gate watching the sky turn from grey to orange, as if thinking Neither flora nor fauna shall pass my steely gaze nature was mine to conquer, and conquered her I have!), but the other ones, the ones that dont have a back garden, just a back yard. Ive been bowling, but I didnt win. We played with the bumpers up, so you arent supposed to be able to get the ball into there, but I managed that a couple of times anyway. However, Im not here to talk about mindless pedestrian dross like bowling or gardening, oh no. Instead I am both proud and excited to present: A BEGINNERS GUIDE TO DUCK DUCK GOOSE version 1.0 INTRODUCTION Although association football may have surpassed duck duck goose as our nations favourite pastime, this most noble of sports still has a place in the hearts and minds of young and old and is still practiced regularly in parks, playgrounds, gymnasiums and clubhouses across the land. Regarding why the sport seems to have fallen out of favour with the mainstream media is a question to wide and contentious to address properly here, but suffice to say that there are far more people playing duck duck goose than you are likely to hear about on the six oclock news. But Im getting ahead of myself since this guide should serve newcomers to the sport as well as seasoned professionals, and so I shall begin by giving an overview on the game, and talk a little about its history and the benefits of playing. Duck duck goose was founded in 1721 in the little village of Truro in Cornwall, which lies on the south coast of England. Credit for the invention of the game is a much-debated subject, with most people being of the belief that it was first played under the guidance of J. William Blaverstock on Truro village green, and the event is recorded in his diary entry for the 7th July 1721: when I chanced upon an idea for a new gamme, which we sette about playing on the greene for severel hours. I call the gamme duck duck duck goose and much frivolity ensused when the gamme was struck up The extra duck in the sports name was eventually dropped in 1863 at the behest of Mallard Cookson, chairman of the Professional Association of Duck Duck Duck Goose Players of England at the time, of course this change lead to a change in the name of the association as well, and the game has remained unchanged ever since. That Blaverstock was at the first game of duck duck goose is not questioned, but doubts have been cast over whether he did, in fact, invent the game, and various other accounts point to Rev. Patrick Monahan as the creator. Those interested in pursuing this debate will be pleased to know that a lengthy article can be found on our website http://www.duckduckgooseassociation.org/media/blaverstock.html Duck duck goose is a game like no other on Earth. It requires skill, strategy, fitness, poise and sportsmanship in healthy doses to be successful, and yet even the most unskilled can, and indeed are encouraged to participate. It is an easy game to learn, and can be played at all levels, but to master it takes years of dedication just ask Pierre Dutronc, current world champion: I started playing when I was just six years old, but something about the game made me keep coming back and when I learned of the professional leagues, nothing could hold me back. I played every day, kept on training and after many years I became champion. It was the best day of my life, and I hope I can repeat it next year. HOW TO PLAY Duck duck goose is one of the most versatile sports on the planet, since it does not require a specific number of people, nor a specific playing area, neither does it require special equipment or clothing, but specialist duck duck goose shoes, hats and protective guards are available from most good sports shops, or via our website. However, there are a few guidelines you should follow to ensure a successful game. Firstly, having the right amount of players is essential debates have raged on for years over the optimum number for a game, and current tournaments generally play with 23 players, but we suggest playing with somewhere between 10 and 40 participants. Less than ten and the game becomes repetitive and tiring, more than forty and it becomes unwieldy and people get left out. Anyone, young or old can play, and mixed games are also not unknown, so the makeup of your group is entirely up to you. Once you have your group together, then finding the right surface to play on is also imperative duck duck goose clubs will often have their own specially constructed pitches, but accessing these is not always practical and so we suggest an even surface that isnt too slippery, but which is also large enough to comfortably accommodate your game Ive heard too many stories of serious accidents and even deaths resulting from playing in overly tight areas, so be careful and choose wisely. Once you have your group together, and have found a surface then youre ready to start playing! Arrange yourselves into a rough circle and sit down try to intersperse more athletic or experienced players evenly around the circle to that the talent is fairly distributed, nothing is more disheartening than rivalries resulting from an unbalanced circle. When this is done a starting player must be chosen often someone will volunteer, but if there is more than one volunteer, or none at all then a player must be chosen at random. We suggest picking numbers, dice or drawing straws, though association accredited duck duck goose official spinners are available from our website. The chosen player then stands up and the circle tightens to fill up the space they have vacated. He or she then commences a circumnavigation of the playing area (tournament play is anti-clockwise, but for non official games, then either direction is fine. But bear in mind that once a game starts the direction of flow CANNOT be changed committing this offence whether by accident or intentionally results in immediate disqualification from the game). The player touches the head of each member of the circle as they pass, saying either duck or goose. If duck is chosen then the player carries on around the circle until they choose someone as the goose. When goose is said, the player immediately starts running around the circle, in an attempt to complete one full circuit, at which point they sit down in the place of the goose, whose task it is to rise from their place in the circle and chase the player. If the player is caught in this chase then they must continue being the player, and the game starts again. However, if the player completes the circuit and successfully takes the gooses place in the circle, then the goose adopts the role of the player and the game restarts like that, and continues thusly. The amount of time that a game should take is another contentious issue, and current championship games consist of two halves of twenty minutes each, the makeup of the circle is changed completely for the second half. More casual games can be ended whenever the players wish, and do not necessarily have to stop if one or more players wishes to retire. As I type this the Grimsby duck duck goose club are attempting to get into the record books by playing the longest continuous game of duck duck goose ever at the moment theyve been playing for a year and ten minutes, but they still have a long way to go to be the Reykjavik clubs long standing current record of four years, seven months, one week, two days, eight hours, twenty three minutes and sixteen seconds. The beauty of duck duck goose is that there are no winners or losers, and everyone gets something from the game, whether its the glory of having the most catches or successful runs, or just the unsurpassed sense of community and brotherhood that playing can bring. Ive heard tell of dozens of marriages that have started with a simple game of duck duck goose, long lost siblings who have met at clubs and whole hosts of friends brought together at clubs and games for the benefit of all. The power of the game was celebrated by Japanese poet Basho Matsuo in haiku form, the original copy of which is now framed and hung in the great hall at the Duck duck goose association building in London: Balance looks eastward The children play duck duck goose Tea swirls in its cup STRATEGY Although duck duck goose can naively be seen as a purely physical game, a newcomer to the sport will often be daunted by the complex strategies employed by experienced players to outwit his or her opponents. This short, and by no means comprehensive strategy guide is intended to help beginners with their game, though it is advised that you play a few games before reading to get a feel for the game, so that these strategies do not cloud your playing. 1. The Speedy Goose When your turn comes around, most people will settle back as you start your circumnavigation thinking youll do at least one full circuit to size up each player. However, if youre confident enough, calling goose very early on in your round, even on the first person you come to can be an excellent surprise tactic which should give you a good headstart for your run. 2. The Sleeping Goose The opposite of the above tactic, while most championship games impose a three-minute time limit on each players round, for more casual games you can spend even longer going around the circle, until everyone is quite bored with you and has become quite lethargic, then you strike! It will take your goose some seconds to recover from their drowsiness, by which time you should already be halfway back round. Time limits were introduced to the game in 1931, when Russian player Sergi Yevkenov spent a little over eight hours going round the circle, his chosen goose had fallen asleep by this time, and did not even get up or give chase an offence which saw him being disqualified from the game, and Yevkenov becoming Russias only World Champion to date. Another advantage of this tactic is that it allows you time to recover energy after running. 3. The Double Goose Return When youre the player, if you have previously given chase and failed, or been caught by faster sprinters, but think you have better stamina it is often a good tactic to pick the person who chose you as goose, or who caught you previously again a second time. They will be as tired as you are after the run, putting you on a relatively level setting and you stand a better chance of evading them. Repeatedly picking the same player even if you keep getting caught is not very sporting, although it can be an amusing tactic, and often will force the goose into submission, though dont be surprised if someone beaten by this tactic then starts employing it on you when theyre the player. A tactic to be employed sparingly since it works only at the exclusion of the rest of the group. 4. The Weakened Goose Any savvy player will know at least a little about all their opponents before entering a game, and while picking the slowest player during your turn will not present much of a challenge for you it will greatly increase you chances of re-entering the circle. Fat or weak players are essential to any game, for a floundering or tired player to have a rest, and they can later be let win so that more skilled players can enter the game. A word of advice: try not to play with people who are all faster and better than you or you will end up as the weakened goose, or runt as they are known in professional circles. Also, try not to make it too obvious who is the runt of the game, since them knowing is often conducive to them not playing. CONCLUSION Id like first to thank everyone who helped me with this guide, or contributed to it in any way, especially the fine people who run our website http://www.duckduckgooseassociation.org I hope it will encourage more of you to take up duck duck goose, either as a casual hobby or something more serious (though as many of our regulars will tell you, one can quite quickly develop into the other!). Much more information, as well as fixture lists, articles, videos and pictures as well as a full product range can be found on our website, and lively discussion forums ensure there is always something to go back for. You can also find a list of clubs in your area on the site, and how to join and if there isnt a club nearby, why not start one? We can offer advice and guidance on starting and running your club, and on the more practical side of duck duck goose such as finding players, arranging tournaments and advertising. All that remains to be said is good luck with your games of duck duck goose, and who knows, maybe well be hearing from you soon! Best Wishes, Kieran Devaney (Chairman of the Duck Duck Goose Players of England) p.s. The first person to say something about 'having too much time on your hands' will get a furrowed brow in their direction. 10p if anyone can spot two (or possibly more) factual errors in the guide. _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. 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