- Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: on novel writing, the joys of waldo and that gig
by Christopher Johnson 14 Apr '02

14 Apr '02

Hi guys, not that i'm a frequent poster or anything but I thought i'd been lurking in the shadows a little too long. Preperations are continuing for my assult on California. Thanks to everyone who mailed me about UCSB and the surrounding area, i can't wait for the exchange and its been great hearing of all the cool stuff you guys have been filling me in on. I do hope there'll be a picnic sometime while i'm over. (To anyone puzzled i've been lucky enough to get on an exchange to carry out a year of my history degree in Santa Barbara. How i'll cope leaving the sunny climes of south west scotland! if you live in the area please do introduce yourself) I thought the edinburgh gig was pretty special. The band seemed really way more focused and serious than they had been the previous times i saw them but it was still really fun. Some of the set lists coming in from elsewhere in Europe sound amazing though. has anyone on the list gone to the extreme of following the entire tour? That would be awesome. It would be cool to hear what was the best, surrealist, hippest etc. moments of the tour. I wonder if enough crazy stories will materialize over time for the tour to take on the same sort of mythical status early rolling stones tours had, or if theres been a show shambolic enough to rival Joy Division at Preston. I was assigned to do a report of the Usher hall gig for my student newspaper but its really difficult. I guess i should try to be objective but i've really no idea what a B&S show must mean to someone who casually likes them. i'm afraid any report i do come up with would read like a teenebopper at a smash hits tour. Also while i'm thinking too, thanks to Michael and Lindsey (I think) who were so good as to share a taxi ride with me to the gig from Waverly station. I'd like to nominate them for sinister members of the month, it was really good of you cheers. On Michael's recommendation i got the Monica Queen album which is just perfect for lying in bed reading before sleep. I'm currently reading Gutterson's short story collection "The counrty ahead of us, the country behind" or whatever. Its really good but so similar to Raymond Carver its a little uncanny. I was trying to work out what length the average novel was with my flatmate and he reckoned about 40,000 words. So should this be the case, assuming you had enough prolific days to draft and ammend 1000 words a day, it would only take 40 days to write one. So theres a challenge for anyone with an idea. Best one wins a big doughnut or bun of your choice! What actually consititutes a cake by the way? being a model of domesticity i recieved a 20 pence off cakes voucher with my tesco clubcard. So i went to the general cake area and bought some smartie cookies and caramel shortcake and when i got to the till it wouldn't accept the coupon. How literaly am i expected to take these vouchers? alright cookies are debatable but caramel shortCAKE? weird eh? moving on... So on hearing Rolling Stone's announcement that the Velvet's White Light/white heat was the coolest album ever i naturally had to attain it. not to dissapointed either, what a legend Waldo is. Here is a man who encapsulates all those naive qualities of young romance and dying for the cause. A martyr for a better cause you'll be hard pressed to find and i would dearly like to see some greater recognition of his efforts. Maybe we should shut all business and cease working for a morning to honour this. I hope i'm not mortally offending anyone with these queen mother references but when tesco shut its doors the other morning i was a little suprised. And as a lecturer pointed out it did beg the question what were republicans with bare cupboards meant to do? Your guess is as good as mine. well work beckons, so i'll be off. best wishes Christopher _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Blue you
by Alasdair Cook 14 Apr '02

14 Apr '02

It could be said that sunsets always seem to happen somewhere else. So much for my green thumb! Talking of green, and crashing buses. Tired. It almost went a bit salmon the other day. Ha, we saw one trying to jump up a waterfall last summer. Salmon are so dumb! You weren't BORN here! Git lost! It may not have been a salmon of course. Do other fish attempt such feats? I wrote something at this time of year last year about anticipation. It read like this. One word after another, from left to wright. That was about summer, too. That's gone of course, along with all my other Buiks. Hell, even my Chevys have been chased off. Now at least I can start whining. I would say 'all I do is cry', but hahaha I don't. Although I did today, surprisingly. Bill McLaren. Wonderful! I just found out that the FA Cup Final will be held inside an aircraft. Imagine the reds, or blues, or whoever, shuffling up and down the gangways, in and out of legroom... I thought about doing an experiment a while back. I think when I'm asleep I almost certainly shout out my best art. This is based on little more than a hunch, I'll grant you, but I like hunches. I'm a hunchie kinda guy. Oh, and a little twinny. So I went to the local cheap store for whatever and bought, you know, mic and tape recorder. It ended up like this. DREAM SLEEP ART EXPERIMENT Day 1 Wake up with a tingle of anticipation playing on my tongue. TO SILENCE. CURSE MUH MUTE SELF. I AM AN ANACHRONISM! Ah no, have forgotten to switch tape player on. Day 2 A strange humming invades the room when I 'playback'. Sounds exactly opposite to a keyboard whirr on the first day of sexual awakening. Of course! It is the wheat germ cycle. Nothing more. Noting more, I note. Day 3 Only a 6 day week, for summer solstice. Traditionally, day 3 is omitted. Day 4 Day four is JOCUND day! I am so happy I think I will puke! I can clearly make out a poem on the tape, I'm sure it must be great. I will now go away and listen more carefully. Ok. I can't quite make it all out, but here's the gist. I shall title it 'Almost....' Lentil, oh, startling Anna (inaudible) abblers! Kind, and always Just die, pulled from the Well (inaudible) dove me fraught in your anteater frenzy Lazing out to sea. It is everthing I had hoped for and more! My dilapidated mind is kindled once more. I believe that tomorrow I will naturally fill in the blanks. Day 5 Have filled in the blanks. With more blanks. DAMN THE MOON. Day 6 Interesting tension between silence and lack of noise. Then! Something akin to rambling ingenues playing with wambling engines. It says 'PoStAl InCreASe'. I think it is the title of a future painting. All capital letters are spoken as such. Later, my snoring has an overwhelming feel of melancholy. Day 7 Tape player ignites mid-night. My screams as the fire approaches the guitar on the other side of the room are lost in the hubbub of water and sand. Where the sand came from, I cannot be certain. So many wasted words. I could have driven a truck through their preconceptions and prejudices, made a statement to last the ages. I eat egg to cheer my spirits. Until, Alasdair xx _________________________________________________________________ Join the worlds largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I will confess to you...
by pktwo＠web.de 14 Apr '02

14 Apr '02

Kerstin, I am from Berlin so it's probably quite difficult for me to go to Trier and then to Haldern. The transport is not actually the problem, I would find someone to drive me.My parents say there are too much drugs at these festivals and I am too young for that.I still hope my parents allow me to go but at the moment it looks dark. I've bought "Tigermilk" today and I think it's far better than "the boy with the arab strap" and the "yellow" album.By the way, does anyone know how to get a copy of "storytelling" before release?I can't wait for another three months. Cheers and good night Paul ______________________________________________________________________________ All inclusive! 100 MB Speicher, werbefrei, SMS günstiger, Wunschrufnummer, Events, Preisvorteile und mehr unter http://club.web.de/?mc=021104 +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Re: Sinister: nice day for a pulk
by lindsey baker 13 Apr '02

13 Apr '02

hello sinister. i'm replying. bron wrote: >it's >just as if a person were to stay inside a >building all day they'd never know where the >building really was in relation to other >buildings or even what part of the city they >were in... it's like, maybe one day i'll >remember where i am, and more importantly, who i >am, and why i am who i am, and where to go next. this is lovely, i thought upon my first reading of it. reading it over again, thinking i was surely going to say something about it at some point to someone or other (and why not the whole of sinister?), it reminded me of a conversation i had with someone recently. i think it started with my telling a boy story. i have a never-ending supply of those, all gems in their own right. and somehow everything shifted to beauty and what was beautiful, and how beauty can be measured by each person based on one's own understanding of it. and eventually i just stopped talking, and a little later i was sitting in the middle of my unmade bed, watching tears drip off of my cheeks and onto the blankets, making small wet splotches on the blue expanse while the voice on the other end of the line told me a story about a parasite in a man's body. and bron's reference to the buildings kind of reminded me of it. and i suppose i should tell the story at this point, but i won't, you see, because i feel selfish today. but i think the point of the story is that whatever is outside yourself and the world you create for yourself will always be different than what you imagine. and the differences between what you hope for and what you end up receiving are part of what makes the outside, the hoped for, worthwhile. and beautiful. you are who you are because you have nothing else to be. i think. maybe. maybe. xxx lou _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: he had a stroke at the chatroom
by Kieran Turner 13 Apr '02

13 Apr '02

Whoah, Sinister, I just had the most ridiculously stressful chatroom experience, and the only way I'm going to manage to deal with it is to come over here to you wonderful twee bopsters and de-lurk myself at you. Which will make me appear classically neurotic. Not exactly what one expects to do when making a first post. Humph. So, the story's this. I'm kind of accidentally having a love affair thingy with a girl in Ukraine. Now, with me living in Brighton, this might seem a bad idea. When you consider the appalling standard of my Russian, and the not-that-much better standard of her English, it's just a comic idea, although by no means my worst ever. Notwithstanding that, email's going fine, and then there's this spectre... let's use a chatroom. Well, OK, fine, but that's not something I do a whole hell of a lot of... and of course, I've just spent the evening, trying to be all romantic and exploring the relationship, and every third sentence was going out to a bunch of decidedly unsympathetic dutch creeps. (Stupid design with a "privacy" button you had to keep pressing.) Shit shit shit, I think I turned into a complete wreck and said even less than usual in these situations, feeling decidely non-intimate. Romance just wrecks me. I think I'm actually not bad at dealing with people. Just anything that might actually get really personal or about me... then it's brain = jelly time. Right. Character assasinated quite enough. Ask me about saving the world, I'm good at that. :) K Oh yeah... B&S content... er, luv 'em. Hey, I'm from Edinburgh so the accents make me feel sort of at home. Aye. Went on my first ever demo (an anti-vivisection march with my mum in the 80s) at the park with the amphitheatre in Glasgow that appears in the vid for Century of fakers... Howzat for obscure? Oh, yeah, and... can anyone direct me to my local church of Ken Chu? +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: off to party...
by Kerstin Hammes 12 Apr '02

12 Apr '02

...60 km away in a club. I'm wearing a skirt which is actually very inappropriate for my overweight body and I actually wanted to wear a B&S shirt - but why does the Ampersand look so awful on me if I'm wearing anything else but jeans ?? It only looks good with jeans......explain it to me. So now I've got a black t-shirt, but no goth make up and one of those "I'm cool I'm retro" vests but probably I'm neither cool nor retro. You know. forget it. Do you know this longing to chat to someone and the disappointment when you go online and the person's not there ?? and not even the second best person ? that's nothing but disappointing. like printer strikes. God, these machines should make me their union speaker and they'd see what I could get them. No strikes anymore for just 2p a day----think about it! > Kerstin, > Welcome Back! > Rock On, Vilkas Thankyou !! You are *so* full of heart, people. Paul from also Germany who is only 14 - what if I promise I'll take care of you ?? If you live anywhere near me (Trier region) I can take you there in the car. I went to my first festival when I was 16 and that was also in a completely different part of Germany (500 km away) and I had practically no one to take care of me. We'll see what we can do, won't we ? lots of love, enjoy the Friday evening parties Kerstin __________________________________________________________________ Gesendet von Yahoo! Mail - http://mail.yahoo.de Sie brauchen mehr Speicher für Ihre E-Mails? - http://premiummail.yahoo.de +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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None
by Thomas Henderson 12 Apr '02

12 Apr '02

hello, hey, well this is my firstest ever post so it'll be entirely useless and not the kind of thing you'd want your first post to be like, not the kind of thing you would remember and tell your hipster children about. i don't have anything really new and that interesting to say, nothing like um, "richie colburn has won the first ever international gurning contest" or "stevie jackson has given birth to the son of an alien" that would be exciting but wholey false although it may appear in the sunday sport this weekend now, or the national enquirer. so what i've been doing recently (like your all that interested) i bought tigermilk on monday, and well that's my most exciting b&s type news, it's a lovely record and i bought it it's own felt record brush, it's a really pretty piece of vynil or is that vinyl, mmmm......, my spelling is awful, not like that harry potter which brings me to current puns (like it?) well um, ken chu very much for the cadbury's roses, everybody was ken chu fightin' (hoo-ha!) oh well i didn't say they were good..... what is a pun? (about 16 ounces?) see they get worse! re: sinister edinburgh: the picnic was lovely (although totally unorthodox) so big hiya to everyone that was there. the gig was orgasm-medo-tastic. we'd like to thank the complete lack of security in the usher hall for being able to get our vodka-ribena in completely unchallenged, oh and one of the security people at the stage was the only person to laugh when i heckled life without credibility/talent/sports-bra/whatever so that was good, it didn't make me feel like a total moron. oh did anyone see the dog at the beginning of the show? it was at the left-hand side of the stage it made julie go all gooey inside, she loves dogs (and her car) well i hope you don't mind me wasting five minutes of your time. byee, thomas __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: More reporting back of gigs: Brussels & Lille
by Aton 12 Apr '02

12 Apr '02

There has indeed been a lot of reporting back of gigs lately, and I will continue this trend, though - to be honest - I'm only writing this so that the people I met at the Brussels and Lille gigs have my e-mail address. In fact, I would much rather leave this post blank, but that would probably be stretching the 15 minutes rule. Even for a slow typist like me. Until about a week ago, I had no idea there was such a thing as a Belgian chapter of Sinister. Now I do, and I must say I'm happy to have met them. First of all, there was the picnic. Which was grate (do people still use that?). In attendance were (in no particular order): - the lovely Annie (thanks for everything) - a Brazilian couple who I think were called Marcio and Marcia - wee Rocio (did I spell that right?) - Wen (who for some reason insisted that I would post to the list) - picnic mummy Jule - and of course the one and only Strawberry Boy I was late. Partly because I'm not very punctual, but mostly because I was in no rush to get there, seeing as I'm usually not much good at social occasions where I don't know anyone. As it turned out, I shouldn't have worried. I know it's something of a cliché round these parts, but sinisterines probably *are* the nicest people you could ever meet. On to the gigs then... I would say they have earned a place in my all-time Top 5 favourite gigs list. Perhaps even a place each, with Lille just beating Brussels (they played "If You're Feeling Sinister" in Lille, plus I had a better view). But they were both pretty special. Brussels was special because it was my first B&S gig. Lille was special because it was a real spur of the moment thing and because going there nearly cost me my job. But I had had such a brilliant time in Brussels that Rocio, Annie and Olivier didn't have to try very hard to persuade me to join them in Lille the next day. I won't try to recreate separate set lists for both nights, but the songs I remember hearing are (again in no particular order): Fuck this Shit There's too much love Waking up to us String Bean Jean The wrong girl Don't leave the light on baby The Boy with the Arab Strap My wandering days are over The Model Wandering alone The magic of a kind word Fox in the snow Seeing other people Dog on wheels Is it wicked not to care Dirty Dream #2 Lazy Line Painter Jane A Century of Fakers If you're feeling sinister In Brussels the encore was "Judy and the Dream of Horses" and a girl from the audience sang an impressive version of Gershwin's "Summertime" (with Bill Wells on piano). There was no encore in Lille, but they did cover the Velvet Underground's "Sunday Morning" (sung by Stevie) and Isobel had a go at a Serge Gainsbourg song (not a clue what that one was called though). Already looking forward to Glastonbury... Bye, Aton. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Haldern Festival
by pktwo＠web.de 12 Apr '02

12 Apr '02

Hello, I would love to go to see B & S at Haldern Festival but as I am only 14 my parents don't allow me to go. Where did you hear that Pulp would play at Haldern, too??There are a lot of great bands playing but I've not heard of Pulp yet. By the way, there's a B&S gig on www.justconcerts.com you can listen to.It's from Vancouver.On the site there's also a very good Sigur Rós concert.Have a look. Paul ________________________________________________________________ Keine verlorenen Lotto-Quittungen, keine vergessenen Gewinne mehr! Beim WEB.DE Lottoservice: http://tippen2.web.de/?x=13 +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: nice day for a pulk
by Bron 12 Apr '02

12 Apr '02

okay so i've mixed a little radiohead in with my b&s for the subject title... is that a crime? oh well, i've done it. ********** have you ever forgotten yourself before? like, oops! well shiot, i knew i left her (him) somewhere around here...now if only i could remember what she (he) looks like so i can find her (him)... dammit. alright, well i'm sure she'll (he'll) show up sometime... the loud perversity with which i exclaimed how much i lovel myself has gotten me all twisted up and then it's like, well sure i can't get enough of how cool it is to be me and then while warped in my inner distraction i found the most contorted-barely-strummin-being i've ever dared to set eyes on...and then she whispered somethin in my ear incomprehensible.....and then she disappeared. yeah that would have been my withered ego that i chose to falsify for a healthier one of sorts for my own benefit. i wonder what it is i loved so much? and if any of what i assumed was inside of me really ever existed in the first place... it's like all those doors let me in and out, but never opened. it's like i was one of those kids meltin in the doorway but just had to keep the gang together... ya know? and now it's kinda like... here i go! like, here is this road. there's some crap around the edges to try and trip me up, but if i just focus on this road, well then... i can start walkin down it and not worry about all the cars zoomin 80 miles per hour past my slowly-thinning body... and i'll eventually make out the road signs and i'll just keep walkin and maybe just maybe one day, i'll figure out where i am. it's just as if a person were to stay inside a building all day they'd never know where the building really was in relation to other buildings or even what part of the city they were in... it's like, maybe one day i'll remember where i am, and more importantly, who i am, and why i am who i am, and where to go next. *********** somebody tell me if figuring out inner conflicts and then posting them is list abuse. if it is, i'll stop. peace and lighter warmer days to come to you sinister, ----your mountain mama sweetheart X ***Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right*** ---Jerry. http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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