- Sinister - missprint.org

Sinister: who would've thought that you could care for me?
by caleb ben moore 19 Dec '01

19 Dec '01

so i've been reading this book called "the perks of being a wallflower" by stephen chbosky. its all these letters that an anonymous 15 year old boy has written to *you* (the reader), about his life and the first year of high school. it's very very good. sensitive, yearning, etc.... talks alot about music, one song in particular: "asleep" by the smiths. the kid has good taste. anyway so i highly recommend this book to any who, like me, love coming-of-age stories. about the new single: i finally bought MYSELF a copy of it, and i think its grate. IWUTU is a very funny and clever song. stuart's vocals sound VERY reminiscent of LOVE (another band i highly recommend) i seem to remember hearing somewhere that b&S have been influenced by Love. ILMC still hasnt really hit me yet, but just give it time and i'm sure it will. M & E is a really really good song. as you all know. *******anecdote******* ok, so i was drinking a cold beer in the shower. (if i had a dime for how many of my stories started off with that exact line) anyway. i really enjoy drinking an ice-cold beer in the shower. its the perfect dichotomy of the ICE COLDNESS and the STEAMING HOTNESS. so i'm soaping up and singing to myself. i think i was singing Nina Simone's "i wish i knew how it would feel to be free" and i've got shampoo all up in my hair. i take a nice drag off the old beer and set it back in the handy shower head rack thingy, and it slips from my grasp and through the back of the rack thingy and falls, shattering against the edge of the tub. now, my head is still full of soap, and my feet are covered in shards of glass and beer AND the floor of the bathroom is also covered in glass and beer. and to make things worse, right before i had even taken a shower, the bathroom light had burned out, and the only bulb i had was a red lightbulb, so the whole bathroom was bathed in a very intense dark red light. anyway, it was a hassle but i finally got it all cleaned up without slashing myself. the red light made things difficult, but it DID throw an interesting air of surrealism and absurdity over the situation, which is always welcome. anyway that's about it. hope everyone has a nice long weekend. be safe & laugh alot, ok? lots of love and non-slip beer bottles...........caleb ben ===== "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." ~Plato "Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for all of your unique holiday gifts! Buy at http://shopping.yahoo.com or bid at http://auctions.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Achtung
by Michael Vance 19 Dec '01

19 Dec '01

For those of you in the LA area, driving up the 2 late at night, around 11:00 to 1:00, that's me going 80 and singing all the songs from "If you're feeling sinister". It's the only thing that feels right when you haven't had a day off since Thanksgiving and just worked another 14 hour day. Fishing for sympathy, m. -- A student, filled with emotion and crying, implored, "Why is there so much suffering?" Suzuki Roshi replied, "No Reason." +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: singing, knitting, bowling, sleeping
by R.Playforth＠sussex.ac.uk 19 Dec '01

19 Dec '01

aw look, sinister's hibernating for christmas. shhh... i don't really like to break into this silence with a boring 'non-post', but i need a break from cataloging grammar books. (is that how you spell the present participle of 'to catalogue'? or is it 'cataloguing'? maybe one of these lovely grammar books will tell me.) bored though i am, at least all the students have gone home so i can stop being smiley receptionist girl and play cds through my pooter at will. had a nice singalong to tigermilk yesterday, despite competition from the technicians next door and their rawk. normally at this time of year i'd be starting my annual knitting phase, but imagine my distress to discover that my knitting needles have vanished. i rather suspect that my housemate has stolen them to murder her boyfriend with. how am i going to impress anyone with my earthy creativity now? my christmas cards are home-made, i suppose, but i have a less than cordial relationship with Pritt-Stick so they're not too professional. the process of moving to a new flat is proving interesting. captivated by it though i am (think jane fonda in 'barefoot in the park'), the lack of a freezer has led to some problems getting my reccommended daily amount of ice-cream. we resorted to dangling a tub of hagen daz out of the window in a carrier bag secured with wool (i think kirsten mentioned something similar), which i doubt would have ultimately worked, but luckily i decided to eat it all that evening. i'm tempted by this bowling lark now, i must admit. but there were no girl bowlers in the big lebowski, and thus no role model, though i dare say i could knock up a nice purple outfit like john turturro's, if i find my knitting needles... anyway, if anyone is in the south-east and can't cope with the fierce competition in london i'll arrange a sesh in brighton (the bowling alley is right by the sea so afterwards we can re-create those bowlie beach moments - though probably with snow instead of sand). finally saw ghost world, which was great. it made me consider how you can either deal with outsider status by exaggerating it (and still being unhappy) or by trying to make yourself invisible (and still being unhappy). i did the latter when i was a teenager. i'm still not sure whether i would have been better off making myself a caricature like enid - at least i might have made an impression. is there a middle way? come on, some of you wee sinistereenies must be well-adjusted. well, after six uninteresting and unconnected paragraphs, i feel i've done my bit to lull sinister off into our winter sleep. may festive flights of arch(ang)els sing you to your rest. luv archel xxx ps. i'm re-reading the fellowship of the ring at the moment, and every time i come across a reference to 'archet' i do a double take... spooky. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: "You'd break my carriage porker, shove it!"
by Kenneth P Y Chu 19 Dec '01

19 Dec '01

Kieran Devaney pointed out that it is the season for end of year poles... and I couldn't agree more. With that in mind, I've compiled my own list. So, without further ado Ken's end of year poles top 5 (sponsored by Nokia phones and sms messaging) ==================================================================== 1. Andre Wadjza - famous filmmaker in the 1950s. (cay) 2. Marie Curie - discoverer of radium. (will) 3. Lek Walenska - fought for freedom for his country men and women (gavin) 4. The guy who invented pierogies (sarah) 5. The goal-post that stopped Bayern Munich's shot that would have prevented the dramatic last minute win by Manchester United during the Champions League final in 1999. Now the sarcasm is over I'd like the say that, despite loving Chicken Curry very much, I might stop eating it. 1) Half of the Chicken meat are fillers - did you know that? Half of the chicken meat you get in take-aways are actually water - they use some chemicals to glue the water droplets on the chicken to make it weight more. Surely it'd cost them less to just feed the Chicken more poo in the first place. 2) Two types of chicken curries - chicken jalfrazi and chicken tikka massala - I have already eaten before. 3) One time I ate this gorgeous chicken curry - from "Savera's" in Nottingham, some would even say it was flawless. No curry's compared with it ever since. Ok I fibbed, I don't think I'll ever stop eating curry, for I'm currrrrrry craaaaazy (a la a great tune by "Bad Dream Fancy Dress"). Hey do I fancy a take away? Yeah why not. Curries and Red Bulls Ken _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: Llama Ranch
by James Alexander Jackson 18 Dec '01

18 Dec '01

Hey, Just wondering if anyone's sorted the Belfast meet up? will we go to the limelight then? it looks good, i was talking to a girl last night and she says it a pretty solid night on Fridays. On another note, went to see Ash last night in the Ulster hall, with two Australians and my aforementioned friend. They were pretty good, but, aside from playing 'teenage kicks' they did 'only in dreams' by weezer, and in the middle Tim and charlotte faced each other really close up for about 3 minutes, just watching each other and playing guitar... it was one of those really eerie moments where the smoke and light kind of silhouetted them, but not quite, and it was just the sexiest thing ever! Probably just good mates though... Don't know if any of the rest of you were there, but there's more tickets for Wednesday, and as such, I would commend it to you! Usual apology for waffling, hope to see some of you on Friday, really excited now! Sir James +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: "it's oh so kwiaht!!"
by Hannah Louise Brown 18 Dec '01

18 Dec '01

And it is indeed "KWIAHT" because i am back in the sunny world that is leicester.I had a great weekend eating alabama, no sorry, Alaska cake. I also played stupid drinking games which resulted in my friend projectile vomitting all over the carpet/ wall/ door/ freshly baked mince pies, mmm. Now i am home and i don't really know what to do with myself even though i have shed loads of stuff to do. I watched the top 100 number ones WITH MY PARENTS the other day and it was tres amusing. everytime something from circa 1969 came on they would nod their heads in agreement. Then the fugees came on and they they both started crying " who's this then, well I'VE never heard of them" Then Collio came on and dad declared, "this is a fix you know, look at the state of his hair, i can't BELIEVE they haven't had the beatles yet" Then, it was Brian Adams at number 10, Dad screwed his face up, " oh, come on, who voted for these, what happened to abba and Queen?". Luckily Abba came on next and they shut up for a while. Parents eh, don't you just love them. I might pop along to the bowling for a few hours so i might have to call you (ken). i will warn you though, i am BRILLIANT at this game and will thrash you all, well, only if the sides are up so perhaps that doesn't count. AGGG, my minds gone all fuzzy, i was going to say something but it has gone, ah well, i will probably add some jism later,lots of festive love, hannah. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: You don't mean to say that I hold in my mortal hands a nugget of purest *green*?!
by Corduroy Boy 18 Dec '01

18 Dec '01

Coo coo ken chu...(*surely* that one's already been done?) I think it's near enough the time to start sobbing audibly over the lack of gigs I will be going to, but I won't cry too hard, because I did that last time and then miracles happened and it turned out I could go. I found out on the *afternoon* of the Preston gig that me going was a real...reality. Having never been to a gig before this, can you imagine what this did to my little mind? Blown away my friend, blown away. Well, a fine ma-hock to you all. As recent days have turned into yet another whipping frenzy about sinisterbites meeting sinisterbites, I'd like to throw in a small note relaying my presence in Sheffield, and the beautiful possibilities of some form of meet-up in this whereabouts. I'd be especially pleased to hear from the younger end of 'bites, but most of you older indie kids will no-doubt have seen me twisting and contorting myself across the dance floor anyway, so it'd be great to "do lunch en-mass" (i.e. sandwiches and ribena under an umbrella in the Peace Gardens or @the forum, even if it's full of metal freaks). Enough of that, as I know most of you feel excluded by now and think, "Aw, not another non-post" etc. Oh no, not another non-post, this post has real meaty content, in the form of Tompaulin, the band mentioned by few, loved by the same few. I am one of those few, even if I do prefer the singles. But, I went to a gig the other day and boy was the sound engineering a load of lemons. Feedback almost constantly, no vocals for ages etc. I felt really sorry for them and had a good dance anyway, which I think (hope) he appreciated. I e-mailed an apology to them, quoting the name of the place ("Fuzz Club"), and in the reply he quipped, "Fuzz Club indeed, Tom, fuzz was all I could hear!". Hee hee! Anyway, the bassist woman smiled at the few who made the dancing effort and said, "We knew we'd pick up some dancers in Sheffield" to which my friend jovially replied, "What was that? Sheffield sound engineers are s**t?!" to the audience's giggles and the sound guy's chagrin. Christmas is just around the corner (why do people say that? It's right infront of us, in a perfectly logical quantitive period.), and how does the education system wish us a merry Christmas? With fun christmas quizzes! Known to many as exams. A world of pain, my friend, a world of pain. I know this post is a bit short, but I hope you don't mind if I end it now, do you? It's just I thought I had something interesting to say, which just goes to show how wrong you can be. I can't be the only person who suddenly looks at a post and thinks, "that's totally boring", can I? I reread it, and just when I thought I had fallen asleep I realise I'm dead. Sorry to all those I'm disappointing with this mediocre driiiiiivel. Looks like I don't deserve to spend any more time in the presence of literary masters like half-bees and warrior angels wearing the latest knitwear. I'll try harder next time, my little dears, and until then remember that I love you all. Yes, even you Ken. *mwah* Spacehoppers, Corduroy Boy Tom (The boy at the end of the queue under the mistletoe...ha ha...) +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: dream of all the bowling balls that hang around here
by Ben Apps 18 Dec '01

18 Dec '01

seasonal greetings sinister, Isn't it quiet round here at the moment? I have this image of listees hibernating in duvets in devans and in dormitories at this time of year. Their laptops lying silent under a crisp veil of new fallen snow. It's where I'd rather be. That is until the INTERNATIONAL SINISTER BOWLING DAY on the 29th. There might even be prizes for Twee-est bowling action, lowest DDR score and coldest reddest nose. Hannah Brown saw Trevor and Simon! (cue blank looks around the world). Well the other evening I was in my living room watching the Joolz Holland tape for the umpteenth time when my housemate Sarah asked who's the guy singing? Why that's Stuart Murdoch says I. He looks like Trevor (or she might have said Simon), out of Trevor and Simon, she says. No he doesn't, I says. And that was it. You should come round to my house one day, the conversation's sparkling. Well that's it really. At least there'll be something new in my inbox when I next check. Pretty snowflakes to Cay, SGS, Tim Hackett(wanton Lurker), and the amazing Rachel Fruitloop. Ben xxx _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: I love my Ken
by Rachel PY 18 Dec '01

18 Dec '01

Hello, This is Ken's imaginary girlfriend Rachel speaking here, before you say "ahh, you're not, you're writing", I am actually speaking at the same time, so there. I am writing because Ken has been so busy recently organising this organising that and basically being bloody boring, but, being breathtakingly beautiful besides being bewilderingly bright, bequathed before me is my mission to write something on behalf of my beloved Ken. Because I am betrothed to him, afterall. Ken is very excited at the prospects of seeing Belle & Sebastian so soon, bless him, I can't see the fuss myself. He had already seen them three times this year. The boy is just full of obsessions, this strange band, curry, chilli ramen, this funny coloured energy drink, me. After the gig Ken and I are going to travel Scotland to see Ben Nevis and Loch Ness, he seems very keen to see some girl called "Nessie" but I don't know what he sees in her, or maybe I'm just jealous. I'm more elated about meeting Mr Nevis - although he is no match for my Ken. We'll then return to Glasgow to meet up again with some of Ken's friends, after that Ken and I are going bowling! In London! Oh I love London, and I love bowling too, he is still deciding on exactly where in London they're bowling but he is going to book somewhere tomorrow before driving up to Glasgow - don't you love his sense of responsibility? Poor Ken he is really tired out now, he had 3 hours of sleep last night and the night before and he had to do quite a bit of work today - I think he is becoming delusional, I better go now to make him a nice bowl of soup. You all take care. Rachel PY _________________________________________________________________ MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister(a)missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo(a)missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+

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Sinister: And now, the end is near, and 15-odd people have free presents...
by Nik Ovenden 18 Dec '01

18 Dec '01

Dearest Sinister, Well, after 1 year and 9 months under your spell, I must feel compelled to leave for a 6-month hiatus. In a way, it seems to be the norm, leaving the list for a while then rejoining and viewing through the nursery cot bars... I really want to mail honey the magic word(s), though. Has anyone said them out loud? I haven't, the threat of nursery for life was enough to give me a chill! Anyway, I'm off on holiday between 20th January and 14th June, which is why I can't stay on the list. My inbox is too fragile to stuff 1000 emails into as the check-up time between Russia and China will be about 2 weeks. I'd like now to give a heartfelt thanks to all the listees who have agreed to meet me, and an even bigger thanks to those who will put me up (put up with me!) for an evening (or 4 in some cases!). It gives you faith in people to know that there are some willing to take a poor traveller off the streets. I hope to reward you with gifts, plus my charm and presence (or is that presents?!). On that note, the list below have been sent gifts already (i.e. today). In some cases (a-hem, Mr Mikkelsen!), these gifts are about 8 months overdue and STILL not complete! Anyway, I would very much doubt they will arrive for Xmas, but hopefully by the 20th January. If you could email me upon receipt, I would appreciate it. I went to a post office, which WASN'T my beloved local one, and the guy at the counter was a rude and abrasive fuckwit. I'm worried he's just taken my money and put the parcels in the bin. Placation is required, could one and all please email me just to confirm receipt! Mr Stuart Arnot Ms Hannah Brown Ms Rachael Chrisp Mr David Clark Ms Jeanette Eastwood Mr Rachel Fruitloop plus company. Ms Kate Hargrave Ms Martha Hart Ms Maja Kucharczyk Ms Amy Longcore Ms Jules Markham Ms Helen McLean Mr Lawrence Mikkelsen & Dr. Vanessa Selak Mr Will Salt Ms Ola Szkudlapska Lisa, your is ready but awaiting an address! The highlight of the forthcoming holiday is that I don't have to burn CD's - I must have made 120 in 3 days! Argghhhhhh. Oh, and sorry to write your name. Now you're tainted with being associated to me. Ha ha ha. Wow, it's about 1% of the list, too! in alphabetical order, as you're all so special and I don't want anyone else offended. Should the other 99% want free stuff, well, you didn't email me! Send some and I may put something together next july. I have a further announcement. I have selected my favourite 3 emails from sinister. I have 2 email addresses (you will be contacted...) but the third is NOT IN THE ARCHIVES!!!!!!!! Not that this is causing aspersions on honey's archive virtue...! So, if the owner of the message (added at the bottom of my email) could step forward and email me, I'd like to congratulate you and shower you with free stuff! I know this is list abuse as there is no content. Please feel content that I am content. A big well done to honey and all the surrogate list mummies - I can say without a doubt that there is no list quite like this. The weird thing is the way it hits me. I sort of go "Ooh, I like corduroy"; "Ooh, I like New Order!", realising that there are people out there who are more than the ONE BAND the mailing list alleges to adhere to. It's unique in the way we all possess similarities beyond liking B&S! You're all wonderful people, and hopefully I can say it for certain once I've met most of you for real! Well, that's all I can think of for now. From mid-Jan on, my new email address will be nikoisonholiday(a)yahoo.com - please feel free to brighten up that inbox with stuff which'll give me a smile in Sub-zero Russia, or Sub-Saharan India! I'll see you all in the future, Love Niko xxx THIS IS THE EMAIL. WHOSE IS IT?! it's worth reading, i laughed my ass off. Arse. I apologise profusely, but I have been under some not inconsiderable strain of late. My mind has been plagued with a recent event but my therapist is an oaf with a Milwall FC pen and would not begin to understand. So, like Mel C, I turn to you my dear Sinisterettes, sure as I am of your discernment due to your avowed musical preferences. Let me illuminate you. I am a man of impeccable breeding and discernment. Sent down to improve and edify those less refined than myself by the powers that be, I have successfully infiltrated all sectors of society and bought Titian to Toxteth, Mozart to Mile End, Goethe to the Gorbals. Call me a missionary if you will, it's a position I accept. Alas, however, although my faculties are great my means are finite. Thus after a period of some self-denial, I was able to afford a fine '76 Veuve Cliquot I had been hampering after for some months. A night of joy, one will surely agree, lay ahead. But calamity lay along those darkened streets from the merchant to the maisonette. The usual hurdling of the homeless was easy enough, but how was I able to anticipate interception by a blackguardly youth? Stepping out the shadows with a Stanley knife he sneered at me. "What you got in the bag, prick?" Now, I fear no-one and nothing, and rather than take this as a threat, I decided to take it as an opportunity. To drink alone is a tragedy, so why not wean this infant off his 'Special Brew' (Pah! 'Tis the milk from a dastardly whore!) and introduce him to the finer things in life. My god, I could even play him Electronic Renaissance! I reached into the bag, brandished the bottle. Wanting him to read the label, I thrust the bottle into his face. Oops. I swear he edged forwards but the glass shattered as swiftly as the bridge of his nose. What had I done? I had to make amends. I noticed the break (the bottle, obviously) had been clean and most of the precious nectar was still in the 60% of the receptacle I was holding by its neck. We could still share a drink after all...I adopted the tone one must with these common types - a brusque street drawl with profane inflection. In my role as educator, I felt a paternalistic tone of address was necessary. So, parrying and thrusting (I cut a dapper figure with the foil) the bottle towards him so he could sample the bouquet, I stated "Come on sunshine, you fucking want some?" and the scamp scampered. Half a bottle gone and a social rejection in the same evening. Really, some of the plebiscites have no manners. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! 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