Hello I bet you're all dying to know about my potatoes, aren't you? Well, they've now spent a whole week sitting in a egg tray with their bottoms in the air in the hope that they'll sprout tails. So far the biggest one, which I've called Boris, has a stumpy little tail about 3mm long and the runt of the litter, Horace, only has a tiny 1mm one. Oh well, Horace, size doesn't matter. Honest, loads of people have told me that. I squeeze my spuds every morning to make sure they're okay. Once all their tails are an inch long I'm going to plant them in the back garden, which I began to dig at the weekend. I haven't dug up the family pet that seems to be buried in the back garden, as I left an alsatian-sized space around the little wooden cross to be sure. Judging by the size of the cross though, I'd say that although it's definitely bigger than a hampster, and it can't be a goldfish (because, as we all know, goldfish heaven lies just around the U-bend) it's more likely to be a moggy or a terrier than an alsatian. But I thought I'd better be safe. On the way back from the cinema last weekend, still feeling a little bewildered after seeing a crazy Japanese film about racoons with giant shapeshifting bollocks, we met three Spanish girls pushing a shopping trolley full of tupperware. They told us they were flying back to Spain the next day and were giving away all their stuff. Their stuff seemed to consist largely of tupperware, but we were lucky enough to go away with a radio. It was blue and quite cute. I was listening to that radio on Friday and they were talking about how Nokia has produced a range of ringtones in conjunction with the RSPB which sound like birdsong. My favourite one was the Common Gull. They phoned up the man from Nokia who'd composed them. He was Finnish, but spoke English very well, and was talking about how he'd composed them when his own mobile* went off; "What tune have you got on yours?" asked Simon "Chips 'n'" Mayo. "Well," said the man, "I get so fed up of hearing all these stupid little tunes all day that I decided last year to choose one tune and stick with it. I decided to choose something that I really like. So I chose the theme tune to Bergerac**." "Bergerac!?" "Mmm, yes Bergerac. You know, John Nettles. Very exciting!" No content at all, to be honest. You might as well have gone and made a cup of tea. Robin x * American: a cellphone ** American: a tv show sort of like Magnum _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+