so i get back from a six hour road trip(hour spent in traffic in the bronx) and im sick and nauseous and i just saw "wonder boys" so i was convinced that by smoking weed id become a great writer. i go out on the porch and get high. listening to tigermilk on headphones very loudly so as to drown out the noice of "crouching tiger hidden dragon" in the background. in the middle of idla, i get the great idea that after im done listening to music on the porch id go inside and seduce my girlfriend, and get her to have sexual intercourse with my in the doggy style position. rough wild sex that we would be screaming or heads off during. all the while, in the cd player is playing track 7-tigermilk "we rule the school." that would be positively absurd. somewhere inbetween the time i decide to go inside and actually do go inside, i decide to write an email. that way i could listen to the new radiohead, while stoned. that would be done before i attempt "the absurd act" this is the email that i decided to write. -jer disclaimer 1) i realize that this email is slightly immature, and not really as on-par funny as id like. but the reason why its absurd is because it came from me. i'm a kid whom in elementary school brought in my rock collection to show the class and teach them about igneuos rock. im a kid, in 7th grade quit french horn because i was th only boy playing french horn and the kids made fun of me. instead of going out with friends, i talked to my mum about music, and how i thought the song "ballad of peter pumkinhead" was really about jfk. she wasnt so sure. (she wasnt so brite) i talked to my dad about the cubs chances to win the world series. i listend to my brothers tape recordings of him doing immatations of our grandmother, and doing fake interviews with arnold shwartzenager. (they were hilarious) i stayed after class to talk to my science teacher about how ive heard of what he was talking about in class today from a L'engle book. "swiftly tilting planet" i believe. (mitochodria, farandolae all that good stuff) i took up wrestling to help with my adolescent aggressions and depressions. was a nerd who never went out on a date in highschool. was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder in college. sometimes skipped weeks of classes because of it. needless to say, i didnt do as well as i needed to to get a job in college. i got a 3.0 gpa. just graduated with a degree in agriculture and biological engineering. am unemployed. am rejected from all graduate programs i applied too. mainly because they were all psychology programs. eventhough my work in the field of visual search is soon to be published! eh, what can you do. i just think its funny that this person above wrote this email. disclaimer 2) amnesiac = good stoned disclaimer 3)if you are under the age of 18 and NOT jenowl, all of this email is not true. disclaimer 4)if you are llaura llew. the part about me having a girlfriend is not true. goodnight. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+