Dear Sinister, For a long time now Ive wondered just how it comes to pass that one grey morning youll wake up and suddenly youre all growed up. I never could and still cant picture myself as some middle-aged old guy. They just seem so indifferent about everything. Like they dont FEEL or CARE about things. Like theyve given up and just let the days come and go, slipping through their fingers. I cant see myself alive after thirty, especially if things carry on as they are now. But maybe now Ive found that its possible I could turn into such a person. Ive found the missing link. Studying at a university you obviously encounter quite a lot of people, perhaps one too many. Today on the train I overheard some guys talking, when it suddenly struck me. They were just sitting there, all apathetic, maybe a bit down cause of the weather. But the things they were talking about! Work and essays and exams and how this other guy failed his last exam or how another guy had to nail his next to pa! ss the course, or whatever. Despite the occasional half-hearted smile they really didnt seem to care one way or the other. You see, this is the kind of thing you turn to when you dont have anything to talk about. You dont because you dont really know each other. Recently Ive done pretty much the same thing myself. Ive met many people, but you just talk and smile at each other. Youll consider it being friends, and some people I really, really enjoy the company of. But there seems to be this invisible line that is very hard to cross. Its hard to get to know the person beneath the surface, and surfaces are always kind of the same. Perhaps this is why relationships with other people seem so much smother now than they were when you were younger and in school. You wont get hurt anymore, but simultaneously the really close friends dont grow on trees. People feel and think so much when theyre young. I mean, I could sit on bus for an hour just pondering my life, without a! care for all the time wasted on doing nothing. But nowadays I f! ind mys tting my thoughts show. And then after twenty years or so more, youve gotten so used to it you just put your mind on standby. Thats when youre as good as dead, I spose. Well, thats enough of me ranting on about the same thing. Btw, dont you find it strange that nowadays Struans so busy he doesnt even have time to talk to people like you or me? How busy can you be when you dont have to get up at 6 am to go to work? love, Chris xx -- ______________________________________________ Check out the latest SMS services @ http://www.linuxmail.org This allows you to send and receive SMS through your mailbox. Powered by Outblaze +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+