Ha! He`s in the bath and for once I`ve managed to get my hands on his `laptop`. Apparently, all you fools are taken in by his pathetic cocky swagger, and so, as his flatmate of 18 *long* months (I'M NOT GAY), I feel it is my duty to tell the whole disgusting truth about the boy Robert. 1 FRAUD: He always goes on about how he is half Scottish,but he neglects to mention that he is also half Stoke-ish.And he was born in Birmingham. 2 MIDGET: He takes size 4 (FOUR) shoes and has to buy them from the childrens department.Yuk. Not to mention the hideous ginger hair. Twat. 3 POOF: He supports Manchester City, not for the love of the team,but because blue is his favourite colour. 4 WANKER: Sometimes,when I`m late leaving the house for work,he surprises me by still being in the living room and shouts joyfully `Alright Squire?!` 5 EXHIBITIONIST: When he has a bath, he always leaves the door open, hoping that I`ll walk in on him soaping himself (and his sinister feet) in his Body Shop Strawberry Body Balm. 6 HARINGAY: To make more `friends` on the list, he contemplated calling himself `The Earl of Chorltonville`. 7 STUDENT: He has a picture of Steve Lamacq on the living room wall-and refuses to remove it. 8 DEVIANT: He really fancies Emmy-Kate from Kenickie and Manda-Rin from Bis. He is also partial to hairy armpits and sweat. So there`s still hope for all you `lovely ladies`out there (if you don`t mind a slight itch for a while.) 9 CHILD: He insists on using words like `boobs` and `willy` when any real man uses words like 'tits' and 'cock'. 10 DAILY MAIL READER: He really loves `gentle` sit-coms of a sunday evening,like `You rang M`Lud` and `Oh, Dr. Beeching`. 11 IRRITATING: I can hear him snore from 3 rooms away, and sometimes it even wakes me up. 12 LANDLORD: He charges me £35 rent a week, although, after this, I don`t think I`ll need to worry about that anymore. Bye, Julian.(The one who played The Sea Urchins.) xxx ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister@majordomo.net . We're all happy bunnies humming happy bunny tunes. Aren't we? -----------------------------------------------------------------------