I've just moved into a new flat. Actually the flat is old, but I'm new to it. Once the flat and I had been introduced and I had been invited in, I started started to wonder about the nature of relationships with flats. When one is in a relationship with a person (preferably human), I'm sure there are some rules written somewhere (these may be the infamous "unwritten rules" from which many quotes are taken but proof never found of their validity...yes Helen...that means you) telling of minimum times of singledomb between stints and when in a relationship to discuss with your opposite number the concept of love. If only boys would stop and ask for directions, then perhaps these rules might just be uncovered someday. As for flats, I feel that similar rules apply. surely there must be some sort of bond formed between a person and the dwellings that support them in times of need (or sleep, whichever comes first). For instance, is it possible to have a one night stand with a flat? Would that infact be a one week stand? What if "things just aren't working out between us"? Is there a minimum time that one should wait before shacking up with another abode? I see a niche market for real estate therapists. Helping people overcome difficulties they have in their relationship with their abode. Thankfully though, places of residence rarely stoop to the same lows that are often reached by others. For example, when was the last time you were chatted up by a drunken, sleazy flat? And how many times have you heard the sweet sounds of break-up lines such as "It's not you, it's me..."? Oh well, maybe I should find myself a nice single bedsit, then get married and settle down with a family home. I suppose I could now discuss the links between renting out your house to pimping out your daughter (not that I have experience in either), but that's another story for another day. Jeremy ps. for those of you that replied to my last feeble post with encouragement...it's your own fault. pps. for those that wish they hadn't replied to my last feeble post with encouragement...it's not my fault. ppps. I read The Basic Eight this week and it made me want to die. But I did like it lots too. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+