Hello again. I haven't posted for a while, but not much has been going on. I thought of something I'd like to write today, but it got a little long in the writing. Unless you're in a kind and indulgent mood then please don't read past the barrier, which is made up of three *s, instead just move on to whatever comes next in your life. Content(?): How do you all feel Jonathan David compares to Legal Man. One of my friends who loves legal man sent me a message yesterday saying that he'd heard the new offering and (to quote him) 'oh dear'. Now not that I didn't like Legalman, but personally I think Jonathan David is far better... It also has better B-sides. I think I could agree with idleberry on this one, as I might even prefer the B-sides to the single. [Hey, is it small 'i' when it's idleberry and large when it's Idles?, or should I not pay attention to such things?] Christians: Is it me or are they bad at grammar. One of my friends assures me that WWJD stands for 'What Would Jesus Do'... why, he'd use a question mark, that's what he'd do. She let me tippex a question mark onto her bracelet (thingy) but it went wrong and ended up as a bit of a blob instead. I'm not sure she was too impressed. Perhaps it should stand for 'We Whistle Jonathan David' or something. Thanks muchly for the gig reviews... they've been cheering me up. On with the stuff... Love (gift-wrapped, with a card and on your doorstep when you get home). Jonny. *** You might think me mad... but today I had a conversation witth a weed, and then I did my best to kill it. I'm not proud of this, this isn't me going "Hey look at me, I'm hard, I can kill plants", in fact it's quite the opposite, it's a sort-of-confession thing. Before I begin, I'd like to write a little (just a little) on talking to weeds. This isn't something I've done before, it wasn't even something I expected to do, it just sort of happened. Several theories have been suggested... perhaps I'm ging mad, perhaps I was just a little bored, or perhaps I really did talk to the plant. Of course these theories have come only from me; I'll be damned if I'm going to be telling any people who I have real-life contact with anything like that. The weed was loitering with intent outside my new place of work (a well known DIY store) in my home town of H-. It had hanging about there for a while, it looked fairly menacing. I clearly wasn't the only person who'd noticed it because my boss mentioned it. "J-." He said "I'd like you to get rid of the weeds around the carpark". So, I pulled on my armour of gardening gloves, picked up my trusty trowel and marched into battle. As I dispatched the weeds one by one, I noticed one little fellow trying to grow out of the concrete, between the road and the wall. This of course isn't the best place for a weed to grow... it doesn't provide much soil or water, and I felt quite sorry for the little guy. 'Little weed' I thought to myself 'Why do you grow there, in such a horrible place? Surely you'd be better growing somewhere else.' Then to my utmost surprise I heard him answer. 'Why, but it isn't horrible, it's my home'. 'Yes, but little weed, If you grow there I shall have to pick you. Then, if you grow back, next week I'll have to pick you again. Doesn't that make it a silly place to grow?' I suggested mentally. 'A silly place indeed' the plant replied 'but you see, I have no choice but to grow here, this is where my roots have settled, and I'm utterly incapable of moving. I will die if I leave here' Now I realised that we were at an impass. 'Oh, but I have no choice either. I have been told to pick you, and pick you I must. If I don't then I shall lose my job'. Then I plucked the little weed (or as much of it as I could) out of the ground (his wee roots remained). As I did this the weed said one last thing. 'Really? So will you die if you don't pick me?' and he said it with total bitterness, which was a surprise as his tone had been very polite before. I realised later that the weed was right. I wouldn't have died if I hadn't picked him... in fact I doubt my boss would have minded just the one stray weed. More importantly... He isn't a weed in his own eyes. He's only a weed to us, because we don't like him and don't want him to be there. Is it really his fault that we decided to put a DIY store there? Perhaps in his mind we're the weeds. I looked into the plastic bag I was carrying (now a cemetary of dead weeds) and resolved that if a little weed grows back in that spot (where his roots remain even now) then I shall not kill him, for he has no choice. As for the others, I know it won't kill me to not pick them, but I really would like to keep my job. Besides, I'm not entirely sure that any of them have feelings like that other little weed. Perhaps I could ask for someone else to do the gardening next time. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+