Hello darlings, You know, yesterday I had a really good idea for what I was going to write if I posted to Sinister. It was such a good idea. Orange, it was. I put it in a box under the sofa, where marauding Vikings wouldn't find it. Unfortunately, marauding Vikings must be more perceptive than I thought, because I can't find it today. But I wanted to say hello. So, hello. Just a post, then. No gimmicks. Is that possible? Today, I was feeling bored, so I disguised myself as a GIANT BANANA and snuck into 80s pop sensation ALISON MOYET's house. She is so elegant at home. She lounges around all day, on a delightful chaise-longue, and sips cocktails that are so sophisticated they don't even have NAMES yet. She even has a SERVANT to pick her nose. I left, though. Got pissed off with her, and her sophistication. It was FUCKING BORING. Who wants to see an 80s pop sensation lounging around, crooning "love-letters" to herself all day as she swanks her way through a cosmopolitan-yet-tasteful record collection when you can go home, wank, and stare at the wall? I think Dimitra Daisy once said that.. Well, of course that's all a lie. Dimitra Daisy would NEVER say something like that. She'd be more likely to say "music is like the beautiful flower of the universe, it feeds on the nourishment of our minds, and makes our head a pretty garden". Yes, I can definitely imagine Dimitra saying that. And the bit about Alison Moyet was a lie too. I got bored of stalking her years ago. She's not so posh, really. In fact, last time I saw her, she was slumped outside Woolies with a bag of chips, an old copy of Take a Break and a plastic bag full of string, swigging something white and cider-ish, and screaming "you took your time to come back this time, the grass has grown under your feet" to anyone that would listen. I gave her a tic-tac, telling her it was only 3 calories, and 3 hours of freshness, but she didn't seem to appreciate the beauty of that. So - what WAS I going to say? Oh, there was some clever stuff, but that's for another post. In slightly different news, there was a very good turnout at the SINISTER TALLINN PICNIC, an event which set the standard frighteningly high for picnics to come... I'm not going to say any more than that, except that there are lovely listees in Northern climes, and it was very nice to meet them.. Also, some people have POSTED on the list, and they weren't talking about CLUB NIGHTS or anything! Well, some of them were, but they cleverly snuck it in among other things.. Jo Perry talked about finding B&S as friends again, and as I read it, I was listening to Tigermilk, and thinking how old, and familiar, and warming those songs sounded, songs that once sounded new, and exciting, and yet still strangely familiar. I guess this is where I put some sort of barb about how they now feel more like the New Tall (and cold) Elegant Rich Kids than the familiar shy outsiders. It makes me wonder whether they were celebrating the awkwardness and shyness and t***ness, like I once thought. And whether I still celebrate awkwardness and shyness, or whether I'd rather be an elegant rich kid too. Dimitra talked about where Sinister has taken us.. well, its true, isn't it? I've burbled on about this at length. There's so many branches I've followed as a result. I wonder if some sort of ROCK FAMILY TREE would be exciting. Possibly not. Ken's club night sounded blooming wonderful, and made me wish I'd been able to go. Are you doing any more, Ken? Also, I would like to hear more tales of your blooming relationship with Faith, do share. Stacey talked about loads of interesting charity stuff and made me wish I was more organised to actually do something. Except I'm not, right now. But if YOU want to organise an indie-schmindie night in Birmingham, that'd be nice. Are any of you out there from Birmingham these days? Remember the BIRMINGHAM SINISTER MASSIV? No? Nor do I. Finally, Gayle Anderson posted LOADS. Which is good, because somebody should. And there was one called "I Am The Fucking Best". Unfortunately, she didn't say what she was best at, so I think we should have a COMPETITION to guess what it might be. I think it involves licking the back of stamps to just the right level of moisture, so they adhere without being overly sloppy and peeling at the edges. Which is a great talent to have, isn't it? Equally, I suppose, I have proclaimed that I'm worth it, and haven't said what I'm worth. I don't know, really. Hopefully something. More than a bag of sprouts, maybe. Possibly three bags, even. Hopefully more than some manky make-up that is tested on animals: http://www.liberation-mag.org.uk/loreal2.htm http://www.naturewatch.org/shoppingguide/loreal_facts.asp and how nice it is that they now own the Body Shop. Cruelty without Beauty, for sure. This e-mail might not be worth much. Then again, it might be worth something. You decide. Perhaps even reply, that'd be FAR OUT. I'd like to finish with some rude thoughts, because I have been talking to certain listees about rudeness lately, and I know how they like it. COCKS, COCK, COCK, COCKING one day, a tiny priest, felching Sir Robin Day in an elevator spandex* rah, rah, Rasputin, LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN!! It was a shame how he carried on. Whispering "sluts" to birds. Thank you to the rude person who inspired some of the above. Have a lovely day, children. Smile at someone you don't know. Hug someone you do. xx Ian *yeah, yeah, I know, but it SOUNDS LIKE it should be rude. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+