Helloooooooo Sinister! I was going through my mailbox that was bursting at the seams with love notes and Sinister posts and guess what I found? The rest of JANUARY'S POSTS!!!! So, I have picked out my favorite bits to chew up and feed back to you like some doting mother bird! Only the best for you, babies! 'specially Rachel Grapenut and Jason The Cat's PJ's (this one's dedicated to the 2 of you!) I don't think I've mentioned it lately, but that hannah girl really is such an intelligent and witty young thing! On Friday night, I got a message on my mobile phone. It had the comedic stylings of my favorite Sinister dream team on it, and they were *drunk* and giggling. To protect their identity, we'll call one B. Apps. No that's too obvious, Ben A. And Ken C. was speaking in a Scottish accent on his bit. I laughed really hard... it was so funny! It got my weekend off to such a nice start! *****WELCOME***** Welcome to Aruni, and Baker, Baker and Stewie-Louie Ratatouille and Lazy Line David, and Craig Rowson and Chris Mahoney and Steven Rhodes and BusStopper Sara... I know there were more of you who have posted for the first time in the last few weeks!! Welcome to you lot, too! Hello Elsa Chiao! *****GIGS***** So, I suppose Carsmile Steve and Cola Cube Cay had their gigs in Oxford... I hope that it went well for both of you, and that someone (hint hint) tells me more about it! Grainne wrote about the Belfast gig: "I have photos of the gig which will hopefully end up on the web sometime next week, if you're interested." I'm interested! Me! Me! Did you put any pics up yet? Hey... remember when they announced that B&S would go to Sweden and Astrid posted all giddy and excited about it? Awwww, I want to hug her and dance around with her! *****SOME STUFF WE MADE UP***** Michael Grant wrote: "i had the mental image of stuart murdoch sitting on a branch ('Up A Tree', if you will!) with a dictaphone trying to record the birds himself." When I read this, I pictured Crispin Glover up a tree in Back To The Future, spying on Lea Thompson undressing. 'cept our Stu wouldn't do anything as smarmy as that! He's too twee(t), recording birdy chirps instead!! I'm smiley! Robin Stout wrote: "Belle and Sebastian could play Lego instruments and wear Lego hair and Struan could smash up his Lego guitar then put it back together again. They'd all ride onto the stage in a big Lego car, playing I Love my mecCarno I love my meccano I love my lego my technic and my duplo I could even find it in my heart to love K'Nex" This one made me laugh out loud at my desk!! SO CLEVER! I want a Belle & Seb Lego playset! And a Lego jet to take them to their Lego tourbus and a Lego boat for Isobel! And MailBen wrote:"Lego gives us well established boundaries to our imagination, but real dreamers use fuzzy felt (with scissors if anarchy is your bag)!" This one just reminds me of my favorite pick up line!! heh! Mark C. rewrote the lyrics to "Creeque Alley" to fit Belle & Seb, and it was sooooooooo fuckin' cute (that's right Mark, I'm swearing just for you!) Alan Whyte wrote a tale of Aunt Sadie's day out and worked in a whole bunch of people's nicknames from Sinister!!! So clever! I got all excited when I read "fruitloop"! Yay! And then, Mark C, Lord of SMUT wrote: "Hannah, use your polaroid to take pictures of fucking. That's what they're for, you know." I think i am going to move to london and live with hannah, she seems like so much fun! Liz Daplyn wrote: "A tip for lads: when a girl discusses her hair with you, she either likes the way you use your walk or thinks you�re gay, or frequently both in my case, which is yet one more reason it�s difficult to find boyfriends." *ahem* I am guilty of discussing my hair with boys for both reasons frequently, well, in the past, anyway. Now it would just be for reason number two. Matt Henderson wrote: "There hasn't been any talk about haircuts of recent." Not that I think you're all gay, but my hair is looking GOOD lately! I'm sad to report, Ken, that I no longer have a "red bowl" haircut, but a nifty purple and black bowl haircut (Laura Llew might be pleased to know that the style is referred to as an "Isadora"). But I am happy to report that I love my hair! See, for those of you who may not know/don't care and have forgotten, I work at a professional haircare product company and therefore am practically a professional guinnea pig (dare I say it, the perfect profession for me!) Sophia Katrina wrote: "I'm fundamentally a lazy perfectionist. Can other lazy-no-more perfectionists share the solution to this problem?" My solution comes via procrastination and then "binge working" and the results are usually good, plus you get to enjoy the "frenzy" of it all! I like to work on projects throughout the night and revel in the thoughts that just magically appear in my mind like "hannah really does rule the school!" but that could just be the sleep deprivation talking! Speaking of sleep, Robyn Fadden wrote: "anyone who has ever had a proper duvet cannot go back to 'blankets' and 'comforters' or 'sleeping bags opened up in imitation of a blanket'. i implore you: duvet today." I agree. They are the best thing since sliced bed! ****LOVE AND UNLIKE AND UNLIKELY LOVE***** David Stankin' Cooter wrote: "I�ve been back home for a little over a week, with loads of things to talk about for once, and found myself quite lost for words, and for the first time with you lot worrying that I�ll say too much." I am *SO* happy that your trip was fun and that you shared your story with us! I felt that same overwhelming feeling after Ben Apps came to stay. It seemed like anything I would say about it would be too much to too little and so it left me quite speechless! I think Kirsten Kenyon might have experienced it a bit herself after her trip, although she claims that it isn't coyness, it's discretion. I have no discretion, however, so I quite like it when I can read other people's tales of travels and/or love. LindseyLou wrote: "i realized that people are just people, and we meet and pass. and if we are lucky, we catch the hands of a few passers-by for a while, and hang on long enough to realize that we don't need the hands to hold us up." Woah, that is so true and so beautiful, I thought I'd just post it again here for y'all to read! I think... I meet certain people in my life that I just *know* will be in it forever. Like my best friend Vicky. Or my best friend Annie. I didn't talk to Annie for 3 years and then one day I went to see her at work and it was like we'd never been apart. And Ben definitely fits into that category, too. And then there are the middle people that I know will be important in my life but how long they sustain that role is questionable, for varying reasons, such as coworkers or people I know through other friends. Or some boys. Because things have a way of getting too screwed up with all of that sexual attraction and behavior to surpass the bounds of here and now. Kyla wrote a beautiful post about being mystified by her grandfather or great uncle's (sorry I can't remember specifically!) stories and way of life: "how do you say please tell me every story you have about being a cowboy cinematographer." Ohhhh, that was such a lovely post!! It reminded me of talking to my Great Grandmother Leona about thngs she used to do in the '20's (cos I'm obsessed by "Flappers" you know!) and I wish that I had been a bit older before she died (I was 13 or 14) so I could have really asked all of the questions that I have about that era now. I think it is so wonderful that you appreciate the stories that your cowboy cinematographer has to share with you, and the story of hearing his stories made a grate post! Robyn Fadden wrote: "it's a sad love, kyla's. like when you fall in love with a character in a book. and you dream about them and generally walk around in a daze for a while until you realize the futility of it all. but for some awful reason you still want to read the book again and again." The first book I remember reading and feeling that way about was when I was about 8 or so... the book was 'The Great Brain'. Anyone remember that one? Baker, Baker wrote: "i'm really happiest when i'm alone with your love letters, you see -- i love the torn spiral edge of the paper and your handwriting on the blue and pink lines. i love how the letters smell as they get old in my drawer. i think, too, that i would love being alone with your body and your voice... the torn edges of your syllables, the blue and pink veins running beneath the skin of your arms and your neck. it's when i'm actually around you -- around any people at all -- and you or those people are not allowing me to be alone... i'm too hungry for your like and your love." This post was another one that *killed* me! It's too beautiful! How perfectly that describes being in love WITH LOVE more than being in love. I think that love is a weird thing. I honestly believe that people don't find love until they are in a place in their life that allows room for it. You kitties know how messed up I've been and how I've struggled on the medication, etc. but somewhere along the line I got better and stopped seeing every failed attempt in love as being due to the fact that I'm fat or ugly or weird. As soon as I felt better about myself then I didn't crave love as much and I guess I must seem more loveable now. I even got a Valentine in the mail from a very special Sinister girl! (You know who you are! Kisses to you! And watch your mailbox!) Amy Rachel Applejacks Longcore wrote: "Anywhere you go, even yr own bedroom, you've got a lot to live up to. Take all the good and wrap it up and hold it,just keep the bad past arm length. That's my cryptic way of telling some of you to keep a chin up." I second that emotion! It's sooooo amazing how positive thinking will improve things (this coming from the most pessimistic person I know--myself!) I hope things are going better for you now, Marianna! Matt Henderson wrote: "I have nothing to think about, nothing to fight for, nothing cry about, nothing to pine for. I just feel empty. This must be the worst kind of depression. Not even music can pull me out of this." yuck. This is familiar to me, Matt. I didn't listen to music for a good 8 months. I felt flat and empty, too. I was afraid that if I listened to music in the state that I was in, it would just drive that thrill I used to feel whilst listening further and further down until I would never be able to even REMEMBER what it felt like to shiver when I heard a certain part of a particular song. That sort of depression is the worst because even hate is a form of passion but when you just don't care there is nothing. I guess this happens to people sometimes because of a gap. I see life as being a series of scenes in a movie and maybe the union rules say that your crew has to take a break now, or something along those lines... I hope things pick up for you soon, though. Will Salt wrote: "If I get drunk and start referring to myself as a girl, that's because that's what's written in my brain somewhere. Don't take photographs, because I don't look like this on the inside." That got me thinking about what it would be like to feel like a boy... and how hard it would be to feel alright if your outside appearance didn't match who you are inside. It made me love Will's post even more because, sheesh, I freak out if I have a spot or a bad hair day and people try to take my picture but what if every day was a bad gender day? That's got to be tough! *****WAKING UP TO US***** Sara BusStopper wrote: "reading the posts is like looking at someone's eyes." I would have to agree, on most levels. Because a lot of posts include words that may remain unspoken, but if you were to look in a person's eyes, you sometimes could see what they feel... Danny the cutiepie Farrell wrote: "everyone should go,everyone on the whole planet.well planet sinister anyway.sometimes i wished i lived on planet sinister,but then i remember.i don't." I think that I live on planet Sinister most of the time... well, "am I playing in your movie? you're in my magazine..." Kieran wrote: "Sinister is becoming a kind of tawdry autobiography for me at the moment." and he wrote a story about working at a newspaper and taking a call about a story that he never wrote up or tried to get in the paper. I liked the story. It revealed something about Kieran that I can really identify with regarding my job. At the end of the day, it's just shampoo bottles, you know. This was a brilliant post, though. But then, I always love Kieran's posts. Dimitra wrote 4 giant diary posts about her travels that were amazing! Here's one of my favorite bits: "part of what Sinister is to me is taking a train to a city, meeting someone you haven't met before and spending the day with them -almost all the days end in pubs somehow! And I am each time a little surprised of how I can have a good time with all those different people, who I haven't even met before. And how it is really more than just having a good time, how each of these days has something great in it. And what is the glue that binds us. Whatever makes us so gosh-darned compatible, as Stacey said once." I have noticed this as well, although I have only met a handful of you! BUT... I will be in London with Mr. Ben Apps around March 14th - 23 so I expect you kitties to meet up with me!!! The Feather Boa wrote: "i met a lot of people in the summer, so it's kind of weird, because sinister changes when you *actually* know people who are on it, instead of just knowing them via email, it is really weird, knowing people off sinister...." Hmmm, I can see what you mean FB. But I guess my experience is a bit different because I met people off of Sinister pretty much right when I joined. And the people who have met me can tell you that I am a fairly good likeness of myself in my posts: what you read is what you get! Zoe wrote: "Dimitra's post made me think of how being in Sinister it's all about who you know, like in real life. It is real life I suppose. I think I will regret writing all this but hey, you won't notice will you?" and she also said that she had started to write about the elitist nature of Sinister... Zoe also said "i was really sad and i didn't want to hurt anybody ..just ignore it..." I can't ignore this Zoe, it really made me sad when I read it. I think because I don't know what it's like to be far away from everyone, I can't really say I understand. There are a lot of Sinister people in L.A., but I don't meet up with them all that often, although we could (like walking to Sara's house for some "exercise!" hee!) I like seeing everyone in person. But there is something about reading what everyone writes that I LOVE more than meeting up. I like the romanticism of the written word. I read every single post, you know. I feel a real connection with all of you. I understand that so many of us are living paycheck to paycheck or are too young to travel. But I have to say that making a sacrifice to follow Suede across America *twice* between the ages of 19-22 was the best thing I have ever done and probably will ever do. I met a lot of my pen pals on those trips and saw SO many things, including the humanity behind this band that I worshipped so intensely, and it changed everything. I used to hear all the time "you're so lucky" and I'll tell you, it had nothing to do with luck. I wanted the adventure and it was scary and difficult and risky as hell, but I was so focused and driven to get out there and live the dream that I wasn't going to let anything stop me. So, my point is, if you want to travel, try to make a plan. Sacrifice. Do it. If this town's your sinking ship, then you know where to jump. A public service announcement brought to you by Rachel fruitloop and B&S! Miss Maple wrote about her pot-head knomes and said this: "anyways, i figure no one reads my emails cus u know...well if i was u i'd delete them." The knome thing made me laugh soooo hard! I want some knomes for my front yard!! I think your post was grate and I'm glad I read it! Then Jeff Arrived and wrote: "I also often think that no one reads my emails. but i know for a fact that at least one person on this list reads them (and she rocks the hiz-house). and that's good enough for me." YEAH! I don't know who you meant, Jeffy, but if you post it, I'll read it, too!! I'm not fibbing when I say I read every single one! Melmoz wrote: "Just want to announce that there will be a Sinister Round-Up in Texas coming up very soon!!!!!" YAY!!! And Belle & Sebastian are playing in AUSTIN!!!!! Austin is such a *grate* town!!! We're having a LOS ANGELES MEETUP on Saturday February 23rd!! E-mail me for more info! *****RACHELISMS***** Ken Chu wrote: ""BEN APPS ARE YOU SURE YOU BE AWAKE AT 8AM TOMORROW FOR BREAKFAST?" and receiving an affirmative reply, therefore after seeing Mr Tweedle (pronounced Twed-dle) off to work I phoned up Apps Ben (Mr. B) a few times and to my surprise there was no replies." HAHAHAHAH! I have converted Ben over to my ways of sleeping in! And Although I am a LAZY HORRIBLE girlfriend, just for the record, Ben will receive his Valentine presents in about 4 days! Oh, the public humiliation! Cola Cube Cay wrote: "After Mr. "I'm a supervisor at work now and therefore older and wiser (no honest) than you two wee scallywags and so I'm not going to sit around and get drunk but go home and read a training manual instead" Apps returned to his little palace known as "The Bappsy Trotwood" (Thank you Ken Chu!)me and Hatchback sat around drinking yummy Tia Maria, listening to John Peel and forming out own little theory about life and Sinister." I have a secret: Ben didn't go home and read his training manual, he went home and talked to me on the phone for several hours instead! And that Ken Chu sure is clever!! I am anxious to hear your theory on life and Sinister, Ms. Cola Cube and Mr. Dancin' Hatchback! Stine signed a post like this: "rachel ~stine **im not really a rachel of course, but i sometimes feel as though i am the only non-rachel on the list :o) ta" Awwww, Stine! You can be an honourary Rachel, too! Perhaps Stine "Rachel Doughnut" or "Rachel Sausage" would be a good name for ya! Stewie Louie wrote: "I guess I should have expected this as the one thing we all have in common is a band with not one but two Stuarts (though I don't think they spell it right). Does this ever happen to people called Rachel?" Yeah, I always think people are talking about me, though. I'm so vain, I'll bet I think this post is about me! I almost thought that Max loved me when he posted "I love you Rachel", and even though he meant Grapenut, I still got a little thrill from seeing it in writing! That's why the breakfast nicknames are helpful. I figure, the more honourary and real Rachels, the better! You know, I never really knew many other Rachels before... it's funny that there are so many of us on Sinister! And Stewie, I'll bet you have "arms of sex" just like Mr. Murdoch does! Well, I think I have dug up enough stuff from the Sinister past for now. Sorry for talking about mesself so much!! I hope you all have/ had a good VD and remember that I, for one, love you all! (extra hugs and kisses for Benny Apps!) love, Rachel (the fruity looper) *****FAVORITE QUOTES***** "Ahoy there landlubbers"--Carsmile Steve "My heroine doesn't need a 21st century prince, she only needs her guitar. And her record player."--Idleberry "sometimes it's just as difficult being in love as falling in it in the first place."--Archel Toast "sometimes i wish i could stop caring but i'm too caring to stop."--Danny Farrell "i don't mind fear... what i cannot forgive is cowardness..."--Velocity Girl "don't forget the victory dance"--Paisley Tie "I heart symbol Gneissy."--Dirty Vicar "I don't, like, think: everything is about me. I don't. but that I DO kinda think: why ISN'T IT? y'know."--Richard Gillanders "Enough of this tomfoolery, i think i'm going to puke"--Teeny Tiny Hannah Brown __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send FREE Valentine eCards with Yahoo! Greetings! http://greetings.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+