I have just been sitting out in the glorious summer sun drinking chamomile tea with my friends Catherine (who works at the Maidment) and Ben (who doesn't) having a jolly old time, talking about philosophy and chocolate rolls and unrequited crushes on local rock stars. That is not what I wanted to write to y'all about, though. Oh, no. It is only tangentally important to this epistle. You see, Catherine is someone I recently lent "Tigermilk" to, and she has become a convert; a Sinistereen-by-proxy, if you will. Her (and my) favourite song just happens to be My Wandering Days Are Over. So, that is the content of the subject line, you may be thinking. Big deal, I hear you mutter. Rightly, pehaps, if that were it. Oh, no. Not that. Not that at all. The real _content_ of this email is a somewhat startling revelation. While we were in the middle of our discussion about Deleuze and Wittgenstein, she suddenly broke into song-My Wandering Days Are Over, from the top. So? I hear you ask. Well, what makes that so startling is that her and Ben did not just _sing_ MWDAO... They also did _actions_ to it. Yes, that's right! MWDAO is a veritable ACTION SONG, like the Hokey Pokey or the Time Warp. And I never noticed. Not once. This is an attempt at transcribing the actions as they relate to the lyrics. Try them, and you'll see what I mean (you'll need to view this in a fix-width font, or it won't make sense.) My Wandering Days Are Over You know my wandering days are over <point to audience><finger to nose><point to self><walking fingers><big wave> Or does that mean that I'm getting boring? <on the other hand><finger to nose> <point to self><stretch and yawn> You tell me <point to audience><point to self> I'm tired of listening to myself, <point to self><stretch and yawn><cup hand behind ear><point to self> yeah <point to audience, shake bum> I'm tired of fixing things for Michael and <stretch and yawn><fiddle fingers> <thumb over shoulder> the rest of them <point to audience left, middle, right, shake bum> You know my bip-bopping days are <point to audience><finger to nose><point to self><stationary boogie> over <big wave> I hung my boots up and then retired from the <point to self><take off boots, hang them up><big wave> disco floor <stationary boogie> The centre of my so-called being is <point to tummy> <on the other hand> The space between your bed and <fingers together, moving apart><point to audience><left arm out> wardrobe with the louvre doors <right arm out> <draw louvre lines with right finger, shake bum> With the louvre doors <draw louvres with finger, shake bum> You know my celibate days are <point to audience><finger to nose><point to self><hands cover crotch> over <hands out wide> You put me straight on the finer points of <point to audience><point to self><draw horizontal line><poke air with finger> my speech rehearsed <point to self><look at palm> In the mirror of a steamy bathroom <wax on, wax off, shake bum> Where the lino tells a sorry story in a mono logue <point to floor> <cry> <wanking gesture><point to floor> In a mono logue <wanking gesture><point to floor> Six months on, the winter's gone <six fingers> <shiver> <big wave> The disenchanted pony <shoulders slump><ride the pony> Left the town with the circus boy <big wave> <twirl the lasso> The circus boy got lonely <twirl the lasso><cry> It's summer and it's sister's song's <wipe forehead> thumb over shoulder><hand up like a diva> Been written for the lonely <write in the air><cry> The circus boy is feeling melancholy... <twirl the lasso> <cry> There's more, but you get the idea. Right-o, that's me. Cunning Andre +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+