On Saturday night I went down the Fizgig n Firkin on the old Iron Bridge, and after a couple of pints plucked up the courage to ask the man with the white face and the red eyes if I could score "Some of the good stuff". He punched me square on the nose and said "BOO" and made me cry. It was at this point that I realised it was Halloween and I had made another of my terrible schoolboy errors. I decided to make the most of my mistake and join in the fun. so I went home with my tears and dressed up as Stuart Murdoch. On returning to the Firkin, I made my way to the bar for another pint of brainrot. The bar area was jam-packed with witches and ghosts and just plain weird cross-dressing sorts and I was amazed at how easily I got to the bar. At was at this point I realised all the boys had run a mile and the barman flatly refused to serve me because "I didn't look eighteen". I told him "I hadn't looked eighteen for twenty-seven years now" and that he "Could stick his pint up his fat arse". He told me to "Stop being such a clever c***" and punched me square on the nose. It was at this point I realised that this was the man I had earlier asked for class A drugs. I decided to cut my losses and went home to nurse my injuries. No sooner had I walked through the door than the doorbell rang and there were half-a-dozen mini-witches/ghosts/skelebones stood on the doorstep shouting trick or treat. Now being the kind natured soul I am I usually just give the kids some poisoned sweets or maggot-filled apples, but due to my ill-fortune that night I was not in the giving mood. I thought momentarily then asked "You can have the goodies if you can reel off ten four-letter naughty words in 90 seconds...You're moment of truth starts now". They couldn't have been more than six years old I tell you...24 rude words...and called me a "Poof" for good measure. I went upstairs and sang songs to Andrew Lloyd Webber in the bath and he tossed me off whilst eating a tobleronesque baked-Alaska. I don't have any morals so there probably isn't one attached to this story, besides which Honey doesn't like attachments being sent to the list...boom boom. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+