i have been having a hard time posting lately, especially since reading will's post and others that have made me think quite a bit...and i'll write something and reread it to discover that it is silly and just delete it. i'm sure this will be silly, too. one thing that has been on my mind is the idea that everywhere i can think of that i would rather be than here, there are people who are wishing they were somewhere else. i've thought about being in elementary school, when every day at recess i would wander off the schoolyard to a little wood across the road. one day i was feeling quite brave and trudged through the wood a bit to discover that it opened into a vast field. from then on, every recess was spent sitting on a stump at the edge of the field staring across to the horizon, feeling that if i could only make it all the way to the other side of that field, i would find myself someplace better. a few times i even started walking, but then i would always hear the schoolbell and lose my nerve and turn back. it's funny to think of, now that i've crossed borders and oceans...i even went back and crossed the field a couple of years ago. it was wonderfully liberating until i ran into the interstate and had to turn back again. for years i thought i was just bored, so i did quite a few unwise things in vain attempts to break the monotony...going to the home of a random man i met at the 7 eleven in the middle of the night and getting drunk talking about the bible, nudists and a communal rutabaga farm, for example. or thumbing a ride from a retired deadhead in a camaro. stupid things i'm embarassed i was naive enough to do, and which i would never do again. but those are times when i was truly happy. the rest of the time i'm just staring at the wall wishing i were anywhere but here. this is all making sense in my head but maybe not so much in writing, and if anyone is reading this they're probably scratching their dear heads right now, so i apologize. let's see, what else....last night corin and i witnessed the kickoff of a weekend festival in muskego, where we saw scads of scantily-clad middle-aged women clutching a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, methodically shaking denim-clad asses to the stirring rhythms of lynyrd skynyrd. wandering off from the beer tent for a moment, we found ourselves strolling along a midway lined by shifty-eyed carnies gorging themselves on fried cheese and enticing us to play silly games to win creepy stuffed animals. one game required the player to hurl beanbag frogs at plastic ducks to win real live bunnies. this, my friends, is why i need to get out of wisconsin. xoxo kirsten oh yeah...um, ken chu Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+