...to get revenge. My twatmate is still being a tosser. Which isn't good. Especially the night before my exam, insulting my family, insulting me (hey, whats new....) and leaving me in a bad mood. Its as if something snapped. I actually said something quite sharp to him. For a change. Rather than leaving it with him getting the last word. Imagine living with Steven Wells... with an attitude problem towards YOU constantly. And add a dash of extra ugliness, nastiness and pure undiluted evil bastard qualities to it. Season it with anal retentiveness, and serve up with arrogance and ingorance to bring out the flavours. Do that for a year. Have no real escape mechnism. Have no chance of getting out of that ugly little flat, with its uglier flatmates. Have nobody to help you. Have the support and sympathy of people, but still be stuck with the same situation, night after night. And try to stop yourself making some comment about his mother and her lack of birth control by the end of it. I won't tell you all the gory details, but you can believe that I felt a little aggrieved. I didn't need extra grief the night of my exam. So I phoned a few friends. Two were on student radio, and played me a song to cheer me up. Unfortunately, it was in hudderfield, but that didn't matter. Then I sat playing my guitar for a bit, making angry mogwai noises with the amp turned up and feeling quite inspired to feel angry. When I eventually went to bed, I dreamt I was being kicked repeatedly. I think its something to do with how powerless I felt. I just need to get out of the house, get out of that room, and get away from him. As soon as possible really. Came into uni exrta early. Nobody about, it was 7am, so I sat on the steps and read a story in Danish about wolves being found a new place to live, when people think they can be domesticated. It was quite a nice story, and it helped me with my revision. When I remembered I had a twenty four hour computer access card, I went and logged on, and chatted away to people on the internet I'd never spoken to before. Its amazing how sympathetic people can be when you're just another anonymous face. It made me feel good. Oh, and my revenge wasn't very nice thing to do, but it was discrete, it was perfect, and it gave me a little piece of satisfaction. If you want to know what it is, you'll have to mail me. ;) My exam went alright, actually, the danish was the easiest. Maybe it was because it was taken from the story I had been reading before. The invigilator warned us not to cheat, and if we had any notes could we hand them in now. Sensing the tension in the air, one of my classmates spoke up and said he had some notes, and suddenly wanted to hand them in, because she made him feel guilty. It wasn't true of course, but I had to refrain from giggling. Almost the minute I walked out the door I wanted to go and check when the resits are. I did badly, but right now, it doesn't matter. I have other things on my mind. Pressure does funny things to my mind some times. I have one exam on Saturday, but I'm not too worried about it. Its in English, which makes me relax. Its about Scandinavia, politics, welfare state, culture, UN, history in the 20th century... that sort of thing. But my teacher made it a good class, so i don't mind taking the exam. Then I'm off to see my boyfriend straight after. I'll spend about ten days with him, relaxing in a calm atmosphere where I feel happy, and secure and I'm really really looking forward to it. I've asked my parents to get here as soon as possible to pick me up, and all my belongings, to get me out of that house as soon as I can. technically, I have less than two weeks left in his company, but that seems all too much. I think it hurt less when I had my belly button pierced. Its like being ill on a ship, or waiting in a queue to see someone important about something bad. It takes so long to pass. You just want to be on the other side, out of the wait. But until then, until Saturday at least, It will just have to be heads down (thumbs up?). grr. ===== http://www.geocities.com/idleberry __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send instant messages & get email alerts with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com/ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. 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