Caution: This post may cause drowsiness. Alcohol will intensify effect. Use care when operating 'heavy machinery'. "Students whose parents had the big bucks to afford it. Holly and Wanda had little bucks." This is an excerpt from Brittany Spears latest work of fiction (fiction referring to writing here - not to her chest size). After reading the stylistically beautiful melodramatic prose which Brittany weaves, with the help of her mommy, I find myself wondering how I could even begin to think of even writing a grocery list out with the knowledge that I shall always be literarily inferior. Somehow, I shall find the inner strength to move forward and write a post to Sinister. As much as I like Sexy Steve's posts, I must say - Enough with the Pynchon talk already!! It only makes me feel guiltier about that copy of GR sitting in the back window of my car. (I didn't want it to get lonely so I got the Gravity's Rainbow Reader's Companion to accompany it. Now they can be unread together. See, I'm nice to my books.) We could talk of Proust since I've made it halfway through Remembrance of Things Past. I once heard the pinefox proclaim that he wished he could cuddled up with a volume of Proust's work, sipping a cup of tea, and having a madeline or two..... right in front of a fire - so he would have something to throw the book into. Tsk, tsk. Not to like such a work! (I *adore* the first part of Swann's Way.) Mr. Fox, should I send you the new graphic novel of this classic which just came out? Calm down! When I say *graphic* I mean as in comics. Maybe you'd like it better if there were lots of purty pictures. You can't blame the pinefox if he's drawn to the visual. I heard that PF likes to fancy himself as the next Chi-Chi Rodriguez so he can go around simpering and saucily saying, "Why I got more legs than a bucket of chicken!" I fully approve. I think PF looks much better in short frilly skirts than he would in Trousers. ***STORYTIME*** Now, Miss Laura Llew is going to tell you about her dream from the other night! Doesn't it involve Belle and Sebastian, the Sinister list, or anyone you care about? Not a chance! Are you still excited? You should be! I had been on one of those "reality" TV shows like they have on MTV which is odd since nothing on that channel is real. (Please refer to previous allusion about Broccoli Spear's chest). The show I had been on had already finished and I was at a reunion special where all the cast members were sitting around in a circle talking about how life had changed since the show. One of the males was saying how disappointed he was to discover all the girls he had sex with during that season who he thought were beautiful were really Joyce Carol Oates ugly once he was sober enough to see straight. I replied with, "If you think that's bad, all the girls I slept with were so ugly that when I woke up the next morning they were males." Well, at least none of them looked like anyone on the front of the new single cover. Scary! (Notice the sly attempt to try and fake like this is content. Go Laura Go!) Today I discovered that the site of last year's Southern picnic, Big Witch Gap, wasn't named for a witch but after Tskilegwa who was the last of the Cherokee Eagle Killers. (They consider Eagles sacred and their feathers are used for various festivals and dances so only someone proscribed in the methods and procedures was allowed to kill the eagle.) After consulting with my multiple personalities, it was decided that this year's picnic would take place at the same spot and whenever I find my copy of B&S's last album with a recording of their performance at the Bowlie on the other side. Featured author has not yet been decided. I'm glad I don't live in London where I would have to pretend that I like picnics with lots of attendees. I'm glad I don't live near large phallic symbols in New York's Central Park which annually draws hordes of Sinisterines each year. I can sit here in Western Carolina, pouting, and pretending that I feel as if I were missing out just because I can't go to any B&S concerts in Scotland. It must be awfully hard to have to shout with glee at every opportunity, "I have tickets to see Belle and Sebastian!" Does your throat get sore? Do your fingers tire typing it? I know that b&s could never sound better than when I listen to them in my bed. If I ever decide to 'field test' this theory, I'll let y'all know. Laura 'meeting all dem der Laura Llew needs since 1977' A rough translation of "Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa" in Southern is: This ratcheer sho sounds like a sorry Leonard Skynrd cover so I reckon I'll be a gittin gone. _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+