so, the other day i visited the doctor. she told me to return when i was no longer in my Woman's Season for a pelvic exam. she is sort of like the american-woman-doctor version of the crocodile hunter, except she is mellow and looks for "ovarian cysts" instead of "wild crocs." same difference. i am very very nervous about having tools shoved up my uteral cavity. actually, i am very very very nervous. i keep imagining that i get there, spread 'em, and the following occurs. DOC: (in a horrible austrailian accent) Holy crap! Would you take a look at that one! (she reaches in (up?), and pulls.) SHANNY: Ow. DOC: Well... ummm... SHANNY: . DOC: I think we're gonna have to remove it. SHANNY: ...is it really that bad? DOC: Well. Umm. Yes. (pulls out a chainsaw. that's okay, though, because it's Pink and says "Gentle" on it.) SHANNY: !!!! DOC: (Pulls chainsaw cord.) CHAINSAW: Vroooooom! SHANNY!: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHAINSAW: <the sound of chainsaw breaking metal pipes> SHANNY!!!: @!!!!!!!!!!^!!!%#&)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!### DOC: There we go! (Turns off chainsaw...) CHAINSAW: awww... (gentle) DOC: (...reaches into my cavity. pulls out a Tricylcle.) SHANNY: >!< DOC: (nonchalantly) That'll do it! No wonder you felt strange! SHANNY: (a bit sore) (rides tricycle home, dinging the little bell all the way.) i am not a healthy girl. poo poo. love, shanny jean _________________________________________________________________ Join the worlds largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+