The woman smiled fondly but sadly at the her daughter. They had been talking in the kitchen. The girl stood against the radiator looking down. Not daring to look up. "I wish I could give you the confidence you deserve" The girl bit her lip and didn't say anything. She wished that too, she wished there was a way to have corrective surgery and come away with enhanced self confidence. But then the girl wasn't sure she really deserved anymore confidence anyway. The girl often wondered what it would feel like to have more confidence. Would she feel like other people then? Or did other people have as little confidence as her and they disguised it in different ways. She really didn't know. It seemed like a nice thing though, to have more confidence. The idea that she would be able to walk in to a room and feel as good as anyone else in there, it seemed good. It would certainly beat walking into a room feeling inferior to everyone else in it.But then the girl started to doubt herself again. "Maybe I feel that way because I'm not as good as everyone else. " She looked at her mother as she spoke. She already knew that her mother would disagree and tell her what a lovely person she was. The girl knew that she would listen feeling a little better but all the while not quite believing it. The girl wondered why there were people who seemed to want to knock any shred of confidence out of her. She could understand them disliking her but why did they want to put her down? People who had got to know her, people who she had once trusted and people who she had told all of her secrets to. She wondered why they had suddenly started using them against her. She was having her worst insecurities thrown at her by someone she used to trust. Her self confidence was battered and could slip away completely if she wasn't careful. But she was careful, not about to give in, and she was lucky. Some people have kind hearts they are caring and don't want to take you confidence away to build up their own. They stop you becoming cynical and stop you giving up on everyone. They allow you to believe that there are some things worth placing your trust in. The girl was lucky because she knew some of these people. And their kindness kept her going. She thought about this for a second, slouched against the radiator. She smiled. The girl felt she had the confidence to get through all of this. ******* Take Care Rachel _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+