from out of the shadow i step to face all those before . . people i have gotten to know, but do not know me. is it some kind of perverse voyeurism we lurker hold that able us to observe for so long without saying a word. i am not sure, maybe that or shyness, the fear of rejection, all these enter into my mind as i unveil myself before you. as i wonder what your re action will be? my days of shadow were driven from me by the insessant curiousity as to what happens once you make that great big step out into the open, and make yourself known. i wonder how fast you will delete me from you screen. for once i do not have to control to do just that very thing. cause to be honest i do, all the posts the seem like they don't have any worth go down the tube, good bye, see ya never, soon to be forgotten. maybe that is another great appel to lurking, in sense you have the god like ability to tell who is important, what needs to be heard and what is pure shite. so here i sit opening myself to the delete button, wondering why you haven't even pressed it now. and my need for acceptance goes, and hope no one is too angry by my post. but it does have some B&S content if you will just bare with me. figure it out, cause no one can tell you the sins of your heart. and now you are left to consider what is left. do so and leave. 'Their conversation had been good. Too good. But it was time for her to leave. "You're losing me ya know." Her only reponse was his continued silence. "It's not from lack of me trying." She looked to him for a response and only got his dodging eyes. She got up to leave and mummbled softly to him as she circled the couch. ". . .and it all makes me wonder why I even bothered." She wonders if he will understand but deep down in her heart she knows he had forgotten, forgotten like everything else that was special between them. Taking a deep breath, hugging herself tightly, she turns her back and walks out. All that was left was to go home sleep and listen to 'belle and sebastian'.' Once so many things, now, nothing more than anyone else, so many names, yet none seem to fit at all, just call me girl . . .and I think we will be even. -before i can survive you, i must first survive myself- -marynard- +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+