I've been getting up far to early lately, my body's well up for getting out of bed and walking about but the brainpower needed to perform such a task is still in the land of Zzzzzz . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .... . . . .. . . Like last night/this morning I woke up in the dark, I put my trousers on but "where the f**k is the zip", it's not there. I wonder if perhaps these are my sisters jeans? Then I saw the time, (quarter to five!!!) "oh no I can't be doing with getting up now" and I took off the jeans noticing that I'd put them on the wrong way round and went back to bed. Now at some point between then and half eight I had a dream about the jeans being Levi's and that all I needed to do was twist the rest of my body round to match the jeans. (to much telly does this to you) Then of couse as I wake up this morning I'm in a bit of a state cos I think that last night I'd been in The Exorcist (spinning body parts etc..). It sounds so silly now I think about it but at the time I was well spooked. and this is not the end, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs which turn out to be Sally the dog, after trying to climb in bed with me she got bored and wandered off into my sisters room. a few minutes later she came back to show me a hairbrush she'd stolen, she looked quite proud of herself and found it hard to tell her off and put the teethmarked brush back. Then I fell asleep I woke up again soon after cos Sally licking my arm, it felt really strange, not like normal dog tongue/slober/hot breath but all rough and hard instead. I looked down at her and the thought "what a mess", she looked like she'd eaten some make-up or something and had like strands of white foaming dribble hanging out her mouth and into a puddle on the carpet before her. I went into my Sisters room and the same mess was spread about in there so I clambered over the bomb-hit that is her room and on the other side there was tube with a leak, it appeared to be moisturiser , turns out it wasn't a tube of moisturiser but of "Homebase double action", me and you would call it superglue and thats why I'm typing with hardened fingertips and Sally's got a soap in her mouth. What really amazes me is that the lumps of glue that are hardest to get off are the bits on her tongue, I wouldn't have thought it would stick there very well with it being so wet. ,,,,,,,,,................///////////////ppppppp I think the crescendo of fuck up's has just reached it's peak, about a minute ago. I'm here telling you lot about this morning's events and I've just spilt Swiss Style Alpen all down the keyboard. Stupid, stupid, stupid.......(repeat to fade) Check out the animal art.... (( ' ' )) 'jj' Elephant If you've read this FAR you're an absolute STAR! James. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+