hi everyone. i wish i could come up with some witty greeting, i just dont have it in me right now i suppose. hmm. at any rate, i was listening to my mp3's on shuffle this morning whilst getting ready for work. all the sudden "beautiful" by our beloveds came on. this got me to thinking of a post from a couple of months back. perhaps you remember it to;let me synopsise for you. this girl posted about her family and how the song beautiful reminded her of herself and her relationships and the like. her family had a difficult time understanding where she was coming from to the point that they decided to medicate her and now she is just this numb being. i remember when i read it it made me cry. this morning when thinking of her it made me cry again. i cant recall who it was that posted it,i dont think it was a "regular". anyway, if you are reading this, i hope you are feeling better :o) what else? ah yes. boys. well its funny really. there have been a couple of posts recently about "why dont i have someone? i dont look like a toad and im not into recreational cannibalism?" reminds me a bit of me. i dont really want a boyfriend mind you. in fact i say no to 99% of the people that ask me out so i really have no room to complain. its just funny. i went to get a manicure a few weeks ago with a friend of mine, sharon is her name. we walked into the salon and there stood my archrival from high school. oh how i loathed her. she was one of those know it all types, which is annoying enough when the person is always right, but this girl was always wrong. ick. anyway. she is younger than i, i think she is 23..a year younger? i dunno, its a nonissue i suppose. she in all of her 400 pound glory was telling me how happily married she was. i mention her weight only because its nice to see people you dont like look worse than you, sort of validating in a shallow way. those of you that deny it are all lying! anyway. i was thinking: "self, perhaps we have set our standards too high? perhaps we should not only date famous musicians...esp taking into account where that has gotten us in the past." quite right. and enough of my speaking in the third person. well now i have my sights set on a fireman. he came to help me when i was in a car accident in december. i thought he was sooooo cute but then chalked it up to me being a wreck and just imagining him to be so. then a week or two ago i was at a traffic light. i looked up at the fire engine next to me and there was MY cute fireman waving at me :o) and he really is sooooooo cute. :o) so last saturday my suave self took my niece to the firestation. when i finally figured out how to get in (they have a doorbell....an invisible one i am convinced)...so i said to the man who answered to door "my niece wants to see the fire station, is that okay?" to which my niece said "but you wanted to...." thats when i interupted her and said "is this a good time?" fireman joe said that on his way down the stairs they got a call and if we could come back later that would be great. so we walked to the car. then fireman joe came running to my car explaining that another ambulance had been sent to the scene of whatever had happened so we could come in. he then said that there were only 2 guys there, as the others were out on a call with the fire engine. damn! my boy wasnt there! i was so depressed. so i keep praying ill see him again. i dont even know his name :o( reminds me of the cure song "i sometimes used to try to catch your face, but never even caught your name." its not fair. i cant even find out my cute firemans name but 400 lb becky is married. ewwwww. oh well. say la vee and all that jazz. well i have a hunch olivia (the baby i take care of) will be waking from her slumbers soon so i shall away to practice my guitar. i hope you are all toadie. if any of you love me at all youll start yourselves on fire in downers grove so i can help you and even call 911? let me know if youre game! :o) "when youre in the company of strangers, or just the strangers you call friends, you know before it starts just how its going to end." ~~stine +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+