Sometimes in life things seem as clear as anything I'm not sure I can really understand that at the moment though I'm sure I felt that way a day or two ago I mean don't get the impression I am saying I am unhappy this is not a feeling a long those lines by any means It is just the realisation that things aren't exactly clear at this moment in time I am not dissatisfied or wishing for change merely saying that as I sit here alone my brain races in a way which will not allow me time to myself I think I might be waiting for something but then again probably not Like I implied at the beginning of this letter things can be clear at times not in a big way not in a way that I know I am going in the right direction in my life or I have any real feeling about the future But the feeling of being in a situation which is right for a specific time Fleeting moments moments easily broken precious parts of my life things which no matter how much I long to repeat are impossible to recreate even in memory Slacking off in work Something I am too good at A natural daydreamer I can sit for an hour or two pretending to read quite convincingly watching the sky change colour and white sea gulls circling on a deep purple background Now that really is a good time to sit and think My thoughts come to me thick and fast e-mails and conversations are composed in my head none of this stuttering nonsense there is a curious calmness at a times like that A true story with a sad ending I was on a train going home sitting watching the scenery change thinking thoughts and looking at my fellow passengers wondering if any them have certain tune running through their head I was calm with a certain contradictory restlessness I had a day off... the sun was bright as I sat in a carriage by myself but was wanting more from this moment The landscape had been decorated by a thick covering off snow "fox in the snow" played in my head I was hopeful there might really be a fox to join this chocolate box picture The train filled up at the next station it all got a little noisy by the next station the train was full I no longer possessed a single connected thought At the height of the disorder both within the train and deep in my head I looked down at the track to see a trace of brown fur speckled by snow For some reason things were clear and still at that moment _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+