hello lovelies, it's been a wee while,i guess. so much has happened, so. I was indeed part of the lovely dundee group just before christmas consisting of mr william gneissy,zozefina and of course the adorable if slightly bossy rachel.the last dundee picnic,which was wonderful, consisted of only four people so was this another unofficial picnic,i wonder. we ate fajiti's and drank sangria,and lot's was said,and lot's was not said too.a lovely time. I've had the flu through most of christmas,i managed to make it to the B&S gig though but i was quite delirious through most of it though,which wasn't fun and can remember very very little of it. the christmas period was fun indeed,mostly spent with alan and ryan.Hearts were broken and drink was consumed and hearts where mended a little and hearts changed hands and some stars were allowed to shine brighter in the sky as some fell.Oh did i mention drink was consumed,i guess maybe a little too much,or maybe not enough.i....me,well i did what i always try to do.i strived for the future,the one where i get what i truly want,regardless of proposals from ex's and ex friend girls,who i really wish would just leave me alone to be.be me,be complete. yes friend-girls and ex's. the ex never leaves me alone,but it seems the friend-girl she only ever wants me when i don't need her,when i have someone else,when i have the chance to be happy,she crawls out of the woodwork and tries to do everything she possibly can to throw the proverbial spanners in the machinery,but she didn't,i didn't let her.for once.and i don't intend to ever.i have hope. i met the adorable kirsten marie kenyon who it seemed was just as much the fun queen in the flesh as she is on our very own wee sinister,although this was only from five minutes as the poor wee soul was shattered from travelling et al. she gave me saltine crackers from someone,not someone random,someone in particular.my baker.bakers usually make bread not crackers,this baker is special. I have talked with a few of my friends about nirvana recently,i'm not sure why actually,but yes,i used to really like them,now i don't.very little anyway.anyway,yes theres something that draws me back to them very infrequently when i feel a certain way and here it is. Kurt's voice,the groaning,the screaming,the shouting.this is undeniable but there is something there,right at the centre, a touch of honey,of sugar of sweetness. i like to think of this as hope.That although he feels so much pain as evidenced by the lyrics and the screaming and the actions et al.he had this tiny core of hope,that coated his voice and in some ways made him beautiful.his honey centre,his hope.i'd like to think he believed that maybe it would all get better,that the world and his life would become beautiful for him. I have this hope now,i had it locked away tight inside of me for a long time but now someone has let it free and it radiates all around me making me glow in a way i have never felt before,i hope.for life.for more. Mr Cobain couldn't keep this hope and nurture it and become whole again i hope.we all can. i love lou,i mean you......i mean take care your danny xxx _________________________________________________________________ Join the worlds largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail. http://www.hotmail.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+