Well hello everyone, The exploits of Steve will live on, I have evidence that he still lives, great news huh? To continue the saga, Steve was last seen in a club in Fulham, having a really great time I have to add, I woke the next day with no sign of my piscean friend anywhere, so I presumed him dead, I have been in mourning ever since. And then came a phone call, late last night, now I know what your going to say and I won't worry because I've translated Steve's transcript in English, Steve : Hi is Vince there? Vince : Speaking S : Hi Vince, it's Steve! V : Steve? Is this some sort of joke? S : No, it's me Steve the Fish V : I thought you'd...you know...passed on S : No no, when you left I was getting passionate with a girl called Susie from Worcester V : What? S : She was really nice...and...well...we've decided to get married and tour the world V : WHAT!!!! S : I'm sorry if this is a bit of a shock to you, but... V : Bloody right it's a shock, you're a fish! S : Racist bastard! V : What? How am I racist? S : Well, you said I couldn't travel the world because i'm a fish! V : An inflatable fish I might add S : Look, I called to see if you were all right with this but I can see i'm wasting my... V : Steve, Steve, look, i'm sorry, i'm just really surprised, and i'll like...you know...miss you S : I'll be back, and don't worry i'll write to you V : When do you leave? S : Tonight V : Take care Steve, say Hi to Susie for me S : Bye Vince. V : <sob> Bye Steve <sob> <sob> So Steve has gone, but has not died, to all those on the list who live outside the UK, if you see Steve say Hi from me, he's a good guy, and according to Steve's brother, Jonathan, Susie's a great girl also. And me? i'll be fine, I have my eye on a very nice small plastic hedgehog called Andrea. Bye for now, Vince. ----- Original Message ----- From: Martin Robinson <martin@send.demon.co.uk> To: <sinister@Majordomo.net> Sent: Friday, October 08, 1999 12:57 PM Subject: Sinister: The gas man and the inflatable cod
Dear all,
I'm afraid I bring bad news to all those admirers and followers of Steve the inflatable fish. He is missing presumed dead after having several drinks and then being passed round the dancefloor, a bit like Owen Meany in Sunday school, of a small club in trendy Fulham. Rumours of an inflatable Crimewatch special, as of yet, are unfounded. The Wake is presently being delayed in case his deflated remains are found. The saddest part of it all is that I never got the chance to tell him that I loved him really.
Anyway, at the absence of anything constructive to say and not wishing to extend the heated Richard Stilgoe debate to the highlights of the career of the amusingly spectacled Cristopher Biggins I shall just continue pointlessly and say: I think Mr Casarotto's spiel on Mr Ken Kesey was more than a bit harsh
What a grade A cunt that Ken Kesey must be! And Pete's letter just made me spit bile - his account of Kesey's experiments is all the evidence I need for the introduction of compulsory lobotomies for anyone who thinks any thoughts they have while tripping are worth foisting on anyone else. Very big and clever you sad old men.
Wasn't Kesey was paid by the American government to take LSD? As they had no idea what effect it had. He then, being of an open mind, began experimenting with it and passing it on to all his mates. LSD had no history at this point, so they weren't to know that it would be responsible for a load of hippies walking round going "Wow man!". So in conclusion everything is the fault of the American government, quelle surprise, and it is probably they who are the "grade A cunt"'s.
Aren't gassy men a pain? The bloke came to replace the pump on my central heating yesterday and then in the evening I get water coming through the kitchen. Apparently he damaged the gas cylinder making it leak, so they drained that and now have to replace to it. Consequently I have no hot water and the only thing heated in my abode was the conversation I had with the gas board to get it fixed quickly. What a bunch of "grade A cunt"'s they are (I can use this nasty word all the time now and just say I'm quoting that foul mouthed fouler Casarotto). Anyway can I start a new list of recommended domestic heating service providers? Go electric kids you won't regret it.
Time to conclude this tedium as there's a pint with my name on it.
Te ra,
Martin
ear confection recordings (http://www.send.demon.co.uk)
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