dearest sinister, i have not posted in a while, so i am not even sure if i have been forgetten yet. i think that last i wrote was that i was going to leave california and see belle and sebastian in atlanta. well, the show was beautiful. and so was matthew (henderson). i must admit that i have been reclusing myself. as someone else's post brought rachel fruitloop out of lurking, her's has brought me out. i am so happy for rachel and ben that her post made me cry. after i read it, i was encouraged to not think about how much things suck right now. the whole depression thing. it's such a constant struggle for me that i find myself feeling good about myself and the way that my life is going, but then i let someone get to me and it's back to being sad again. i'm sure that my train to thought is not making any sense as it isn't even in my head...so i apologize...but i missed you guys. i had to write, even if it wasn't going to be rubbish. why do i let people get to me? why do things that people say and do get me in such a state that i start to doubt my existence? it's all pathetic really. family that i constantly disappoint. friends that are too far away. a trail of broken hearts that i can't let go of. at least i always have my sad songs and my pillow... __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+