*---* HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINISTER BABIES *---* Yes, I have decided to purchase a bike. I have decided that the time I fell off the tramps bike after the picnic and banged my head was just a blip in my cycling career. Anyhow I demonstrated my roadworthiness to everyone after the Salako thing by taking my turn to cycle to the end of the road and back on this bicycle someone had left for our entertainment. I managed not to put my feet on the ground, and was timed by steady Mike's stopwatch, coming in at an impressive 1 minute 5 seconds. I was beaten into second place only by Trousers because of his mean, streamlined aerodynamic shirt. Which you unfortunately can't see his nipples in, although it is rather tight. Like a psychadelic Tour de France yellow jersey. Only not yellow. Anyway I have bought a bicycle because people fancy you more on a bike. No, they do! It gives you a certain something, makes you look sort of bookish and interesting, a cycling free-spirit. I found this contraption in Loot for £20, so anticipating a bargain as usual, I bought it. Only the chain came off on my way back, half way down Stoke Newington high street and sent me carreeing into a lady with a pram on a zebra crossing. But I survived. The mother and baby however are receiving vital lifesaving surgery at Guy's. No, but I am telling the truth about the chain, actually the gears don't work either. It's a heap of shit, but at least it won't get nicked. But my dilemma is whether to helmet, or not to helmet. See, I have this idea that a helmet makes you look like a spoon, but I reckon if you go the whole hog and wear a smog mask too you look like a cool urban warrior type and can then pull at 'Reclaim the Streets!' and save trees too. Bike to the future! Susannah. xxx +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +---+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+