Alright! For some time I have longed to "leak" something to sinister, and now I have a burst pipe you might find of interest. Pay attention: this is good stuff. When I first heard the mysterious word "sha-la-la" I felt the kind of thrill that can toast your eyebrows. As a seasoned "hipster" I like to keep a beady eye out for "the Next Big Thing". Turn your back for a moment, take your eye of the bouncing ball that is POP for a moment and you find that the "Next Big Thing" has hit you upside the head like a can of tuna thrown by the paperboy. This leaves you in the mud on your knees, seeing little cartoon birds and needing to take your brand new black Muji corduroys to the dry cleaners, during which time the "Next Big Thing" has become "Old Hat". Bah! Committed to keeping my finger firmly on the throbbing vein of POP, I resolved to get on Sha-la-la by any means necessary. But how??? I own many records by Men With Beards. Some of these records contain guitar solos that could uncurl the hair in Brad's afro. Quite a few of them refer to relations with girls that extend beyond holding hands. As we know, all these things are strictly VERBOTTEN by the obergruppenfuhrers of Twee. Curses. I knew I would have to devise a fiendish plan... I arranged to meet my good buddy, the metrosexual gadabout and heir to the MB Games millions, Jasper Buckaroo. As readers if Meg Matthews' scintillating Sunday Times Diary will know, Jasper is strictly A-List. Nary a celebrity Fondue Party in Peckham passes without an appearance from the famed Illegible Batchelor. It is whispered along the corridors of power that Jasper's failure to attend the launch party for "Young and Foolish" is the reason for the books otherwise unaccountable absence from the best-sellers list. Settling down on the expansive futon chez Buckaroo, I explained my dilemma. Jasper, as always, was the very model of accommodation. Booting up his lime and fuschia executive Imac, we fired off an enquiry to the mysterious headquarters of Sha-la-la. Within seconds Jasper's in-box was bulging. "Not for the first time, deary", he quipped with the characteristic wit that has seen him dubbed the Charles Hawtrey de nos jours. And lo! there was the invitation to join the list that is quite literally on everyone's lips: "Dear Mr Buckaroo Thankyou for joining the Sha-la-la digest. During your stay please can you respect the list rules at all times: NO RUNNING NO BOMBING NO PETTING NO LAUGHING NO GIRLS hugs and kissies Neily-Weely xxooxxxooo" Success! I rubbed my hands in sublime satisfaction. Little did I realise the Pandora's Box I was opening. What fresh hell had we here? TOMORROW: I BLOW THE LID ON THE SHADOWY CARTEL WHO RUN POP Stevie Trousers _______________ PS: Listees of the pachydermal persuasion will remember the smoking quiz I set some time in the 17th century. Winners will be announced tomorrow. +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". For list archives and searching, list rules, FAQ, poor jokes etc, see http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +---+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" +---+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+