What do you do when New Years resolutions decide to break themselves? I mean, when you have the best intentions in the world to keep them and you really honestly intend to keep them; but some malignant force, call it fate, call it chance, strikes at you like you're a character out of a Thomas Hardy novel, leaving you to stare at the stars and the sky and scream out loud, "God bless pathetic fallacy." "So why the pessimism now Miss Cola-Cube?" I hear you all cry. I have my reasons.and I find them to be pretty damn valid considering the situation I am currently finding myself in. I'm having problems at the moment and they're akin to being hit in the gut with a sledgehammer, or at least that is what it feels like to me. I don't want to go into much detail, as I've never been one of those people to want to load her woes onto a thousand or so people. I don't know you and you don't know me so why should many of you hear the collected woes of a woman living (to many of you) thousands of miles away? So please enlighten me as to what to do when the one resolution you really wished that fate would let you keep.i.e. being happy and for those around you to be happy, no matter what the situation, are smashed right in front of your face? When words are said and the only thing you can think is "Oh my God, what am I going to do?" and the only emotion you feel is an icy current running through your blood and settling right at the base of your stomach that no warmth can thaw. I'm sure Miss Llew would have a gloriously witty Dorothy Parker-ism to alleviate the storm clouds in situations like these, or Mr. Chu would have a pun to bring a smile when your expression feels carved in stone. Then again, I only got 30% in his personality test so maybe I don't know him as well as I thought I did. (I got 0% in Gneissy's, but that's my fault for not knowing that he can fit into size 10 dresses.) I can only say to those on this who know the situation that I'm currently in and for all their kind words, smiles and phone calls leading them to get locked out of their workplace a big thank you. You know who you are, and you know I'm grateful. As to the lovely (and seriously mushy!) Ben Apps, tank choo for the sweeties. They're going to come in useful. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Isn't it nice when your gig is promoted without you even having to breathe a word about the forthcoming event? I was going to bore you all with the details and death threats of "Be there or I'll kidnap your teddy bear and send it back to your in stuffing-ridden pieces," but thanks to the lovely combined efforts of Mr. Carsmile and Mr. Apps, my stage has already been set, so I'll enter stage left. My gig is on the 11th (That's a MONDAY, not a TUESDAY) somewhere in Oxford.Mr. Carsmile and the lovely Matt Wilson (who is also on the list but lurks I the shadows like the wee lurky thing he is) know more about the venue than I, because I'm merely a London girly and therefore ignorant about all things outside Zone 6. But yes; do come. It will be fun! My band are called the EndlessCityLights and we sound like what the Velvet Underground, Mogwai and The Shang-gri-las would sound like if they all held hands, kissed in public, got drunk and indulged in illicit insemination with only a turkey baster and a rather glamorous young girl with a clarinet (that being me). Support comes from Welsh shang-a-lang drunken wonders "The Loves" who not only have the fact that one of my best friends is their guitarist in their favour, but also the fact that they're on Track and Field records which can only ever be a good thing. Main act are Delicate AWOL, post-rock lushness with a bitter aftertaste. And there should be a club afterwards and stuff too with me, Matt and some of our friends' dj'ing. I don't usually shamelessly promote things via the Internet.but this one involves me and it's just after the Brighton Weekender too (which I shall be gracing with my presence. ) and it's only £2 and it should be immense fun. Oh, and everyone should go to Carsmile's night too because that should be fun-filled-frolics galore. I've been listening to too much old Elliot Smith recently. My lovely friend Marianne leant me nearly all of his old albums, so I've been sat here back at home in the sunshine, relishing the fact that I have nice food, a clean kitchen and lovely parents to indulge in and listening to songs which shimmer in the sun like beautiful, poisonous flowers. Apologies for the self-indulgence before, but whilst I'm on a roll I may as well add to my tally. Dammit, everywhere I go all I see are people holding hands and being all couply in the Winter Sun. I either want a Sinister romance or more people to be bitter with, as me and my friends are getting a bit fed up with being the only ones now. Even Saint Peter seems to be on a bit of a roll now, and he's a bloody archangel. Any takers for either position? Right. This is perhaps the most self-indulgent post I've ever sent so I'll bow out with a blush and the shuffling of my feet. Oh but LIST CONTENT!! Jordi-If on the Benicassim Belle and Sebastian show you hear a mad English girl and boy jumping up and down and singing rather loudly.that'll be me and the boy in the tree. I can only hope and pray they've not broadcast my interview with MTV yet. Love and Fizzy Love-hearts, Cay Cola-Cube xXx "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your Revolution..." -Emma Goldman +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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