My heart was warmed by the delightful comments made about my last humble offering, but that only increases my anxiety now. I have just arrived home after a night visiting friends, which undoubtedly means I should keep my lips sealed and my vision blurred, but I have decided to do neither, and try and muse about John Hughes, amongst others. I can't just sit mutely by while Duckie's fate at the end of Pretty in Pink and the Ally Sheedy makeover are discussed. I must say something. So, since people can be masters of their own destiny, I will. First off all, the secretary in Ferris Bueller's Day Off was also in a Cheech and Chong film (I don't remember which one. They're all the same, so I suppose it doesn't particularly matter). Her acting abilities were stretched almost beyond the realm of human capability, certainly into a region Stanislavski never envisioned, by performing as a twee Midwestern housewife with a nasal voice. She got stoned with Cheech and Chong, drove around in a Rolls Royce, and went to see a Pee Wee Herman show. It was all crap. While I have nothing but fondness for John Hughes and his 80's films, let us not forget that he is also the man responsible for Home Alone and, more obscurely yet not less unforgiveably, Curly Sue. Also, is there not something slightly dubious about a man well into his thirties spending his time surrounded by a crop of adolescent actors and actresses who quickly slid into a miasma of booze and wanton sex? No wonder Anthony Michael Hall became and alcoholic and Ally Sheedy a neurotic anorexic. Nevertheless, his films a super. And yes, Ally Sheedy's make-over was a travesty. When I first watched the film, having gradually become fixated on her (I even wrote her a letter in my capricious and ludicrous youth), it felt like a knife was plunged into my heart as I saw her coming out of the office where that little minx Clare had performed her evil deed. Forcing the shaggy haired girl to conform, to go out with the stupidest character in the whole film, leaving poor Brian Johnson (not Rogers) standing in the library on his own! But enough of all that: what about Weird Science? It may have taken John Hughes only two days to write, but it's still a bit, only a small bit, you understand, of a classic. Kelly le Brock's hair alone is worth noting; it's like a great big teased fountain spurting from the crown of her head, levitating above her scalp. And what about Sixteen Candles? Finally - I will say no more on this subject, I promise, although my record of keeping promises is not good - I need to mention The Wild Life. It's sort of the Las Vegas of teen films - absolutely awful, but triumphant on the grounds of shamelessness alone. It has Rick Moranis, Chris Penn, Ilan Mitchell-Smith (who seems to have vanished off the face of the planet, which is probably, bless his little inept actor heart, for the best), and Lea "Calvin...he's a dream-boat" Thompson. Could a film need anything more? Could the world, in fact, need anything more? 5 paragraphs on 80's teen films is probably enough to last a lifetime. I am ashamed; after all the talk of being low-brow, I have outdone myself. I should probably go and read a biography on David Beckham now, or simply slit my wrists. I will put them in hot water to stop the blood from clotting, and no one will find me until morning. I will be drained and pale like I always wanted to be, with a little note at my side blaming it all on Don't You Forget About Me by The Simple Minds. That was all a bit morbid, wasn't it? Instead, perhaps I should go upstairs, eat some food, recollect myself, and read a bit of Baudelaire. Yes, I think that would be entirely the more sapient choice. Or perhaps watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High...... Ruvi. +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+