its raining again and there is a parrot on my windowsill. its sheltered there, so i suppose its not too strange. my cat seems quite interested in the goings-on... they're eyeing each other suspiciously through the old fashioned crank-out window. he's meowing to be let out, but i want the bird to stay. at least long enough to show me what to do next. is he here to help me decipher late-night whispers about trust and permanence? will he help me figure out what "the long haul" really means? this boy i know promised me he'd never let me leave, and that means something. perhaps this bird will bring clarity..? the cat is catnapping now, aware but indifferent. the bird is winking at me "you know what to do"; he ruffles and flies off. and it does indeed become clearer. because i know, deep inside, that i won the fight. i am content in the knowledge that i have won. all the happiness and bunny-rabbit finger puppets in the world are mine. that boy laid the world out open in front of me, and i am finally ready to accept it. as my own. "Somebody's Song" This is what i vow: He shall have my heart to keep; Sweetly will we stir and sleep, All the years, as now. Swift the measured sands may run; Love like this is never done; He and i are welded one; This is what i vow. This is what i pray: Keep him by me tenderly; Keep him sweet in pride of me, Ever and a day; Keep me from the old distress; Let me, for our happiness, Be the one to love the less: This is what i pray. This is what i know: Lovers' oaths are thin as rain; Love's a harbinger of pain- Would it were not so! Ever is my heart a-thirst, Ever is my love accurst; He is neither last nor first; This is what i know. -Dorothy Parker -------------------------------------------------------- now on constant repeat: "wild is the wind"- catpower "don't cry"- mogwai +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+