The last hello was affecting in the extreme. The night before that I saw the Kaiser. Kaiser, I told him, I mentioned you on sinister. He considered this inadequate. - But Pinefox, quoth he, no-one knows who 'the Kaiser' is. Still - he knows his foot. ball. But he doesn't even believe in my name. For a while there I thought I was actually going to stop at Tottenham Hale, which is more than I ever managed in the 1980s. Suspect package at Liverpool Street. Perhaps it contained the leopard from Lime Street? But heave on, train, OK! magazine and all. The magazine calls every actress �beautiful�, which is almost true. Martine McCutcheon, it was later agreed, was cherubically lovely. The boozer was full like a tin of new potatoes. It was relevant to YOU, just about. Here was Tom Ewing, helpfully warning me: you�re too late to sing. I might warn him � and you � in return: The Beard Is Back. Here was Nick Dastoor, whom you won�t remember. He�d had one or two, in the gear he won for playing in an international footy tourney in the early 80s. And as he�s not reading this, I don�t mind telling you he looked gorgeous. There was much of the supermodel about him. Ewing duetted with Edna Welthorpe � who sucks and is dumb, as reported last time � on the Pet Shop Boys. She thought we hadn't heard her. Could we hear her? I'm afraid so. The Carsmile had fulfilled a Lamacq role, singing Carter USM covers, while looking like a cross between the usual Mark E. Smith and the unusual Robert Redford. Captain the Marvel had his song stolen. If anyone's seen it, don't bring it back, for the reasons the Kaiser has already explained. It's time for the Captain to move on and conquer another Irish tune. Dmrita said Kenneth Chu was everyone's favourite listee. In the interests of balance, I feel it incumbent on me to say the Chu is by no means and in no way my favourite listee, and it would take a holocaust of certain other listees to make him so. Someone mentioned South Bend, Indiana. If I'm not mistaken, James Stewart mentions it in The Philadelphia Story, and the parodic Hepburn responds magnificently, - Why, that sounds like *dancing*! Meanwhile, Colonel Moore was back from the summit, proclaiming that a square deal for Britain had been attained, though not obtained, pending discussion at medium spirit level. That reminds me, Elena99 said 'JD' was her song of the summer: which is handy, because it is certainly not mine. Back to Mooro. I shall not comment on his ability to bring a certain energy, a certain bonhomie, a certain enthusiasm to a scene, for that would sound as sycophantic as he reputedly does on his record of Stuart Murdoch falling on top of him. Suffice to say, he was barrelling down the highway again this morning, and back again - the A12, come to think of it - doing motorway services to the world. This reminds me of what constitutes something like an event in sinister world, namely the arrival of Geneva Convention Wesley Harding. Many others have rattled on about her in the past, but I fear I have not always understood her posts, because they were written in Candadian. Yet unlike so many others, she actually managed to live up to her billing. Not for GW the half-assed, whining blend of bitchery and obscurantism that with irregular frequency passes through this town. Such fashionable vices are not hers; instead the simple virtues: honesty, modesty, openness, humour, interest. I'm not kidding - this kind of thing is a pleasant shock these days, in my dotage, my decline, my curmudgeon's century. I missed the Lloyd Cole Night that Edna organized back at the branch, but will Report Back nonetheless. Debates were held on where to begin with Lloyd. Edna and I agreed that you might as well go with Rattlesenakes, if you like Tigermilk. But we think that The Collection doesn't lack shrewdness, qua virgin acquisition. B&S were played, and people said they were great. It's a good thing I wasn't there, I might have had to find a way to disagree. Biff Bang Pow, Orange Juice and Felt were successfully dispatched, or despatched - yes, that's the man, I think - as Overrated. A Canadian university has been running courses on Archetypes in The Little Mermaid. So far three Archetypes have been identified. 1. The Mermaid (little). 2. The Fish. 3. The Octopus. More to follow after marine research. Meanwhile, a course has been analyzing the Breakdown of the Critical Essay. My editor and I held a rival summit meeting of our own, somewhere not at the very top of Ludgate Hill, and agreed to blame Roland Barthes' fragmentary methods. It was reported that The Care Bear had gone for a job by telephone interview. But *did she dress up for the occasion?* We don't know. White socks in perry-boy comeback. To the Mayflower, on what was a summer afternoon withal, Mooro brought along a gorgeous green and yellow CD. His copy had Times on it, which is more than I can say for mine (there just wasn't Time). 8:49 for Stansted, not to be confused with Paddington. I heard that Honey had said something about my tummy. I wish I could remember *why*. Reports Back on Cookie's Kilt will have to wait for the return of those who have seen beneath it. __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Send instant messages & get email alerts with Yahoo! Messenger. http://im.yahoo.com/ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. 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