This email isn't from me; I'm forwarding it to the list at the request of ex-sinisterine Gary Maher. Enjoy. I did. _______________________________________________ The Dynamics of the Extra Belle & Sebastian Ticket - NYC 10 Nov 2003 It's always interesting when you show up with an extra ticket for a concert, but the dynamics of an extra ticket for a Belle & Sebastian concert have the potential to create even more interest. Of course, I was disappointed when my wife decided her cold was so severe as to preclude her attendance. It was ok, I told her, because we have tickets for the following night's show, and because I was sure I could find something to do with her ticket. So I set off for the wilds of New York City with my extra 10th row ticket. My plan to arrive early to dispose of the ticket quickly evaporated (as all my plans to arrive early seem to do), and I walked up to the front of the Town Hall theater at precisely 8:00 p.m. I briefly canvassed the scene: There was no line at the ticket window, but the show was not sold out. It appeared that I was the only one who had come there alone everyone else was in groups of two or four or eight or more. Worse, everybody seemed to already have a ticket! My only option seemed to be to station myself outside the box office and wait for the right person to come along. At about that time, the first disturbing thought of the night entered my head: Just who was the right person I was waiting for? I mean of course what TYPE of person was it? Obviously someone alone without a ticket, or possibly someone without a ticket accompanied by friends with tickets. But beyond that, who? Perhaps a tall, shapely woman with model looks? Too obvious. Plus, I'm very happily married, so whatever would I do with one of those? (She didn't come around, anyway. Probably better that way.) How about a short, shy, homely thing who was almost too afraid to venture out of the house but was propelled to the show by her obsession with Stuart (or was it Sarah)? Shouldn't be any shortage of those at a B&S show, right? (Just teasing; you are all beautiful and I love each and every one of you. XO.) I dunno, I just didn't feel that charitable. I mean, this person was going to be sitting next to me, and I kinda wanted someone I could relate to a little bit. I was there alone, after all. A guy, then? But what if he assumes that I am as shallow as the next person (I'm actually as shallow as the guy standing behind the next person, over his left shoulder, with his internet browser permanently tuned to ratemyface.com) and decides that I'm only giving him the ticket because I find him attractive. Otherwise, why wouldn't I give the ticket to the tall, shapely woman with model looks? (He obviously doesn't realize that she has other plans tonight.) If he's gay (unlikely at a B&S show, he snarled sarcastically), that could make things uncomfortable. (Remember, he's sitting right next to me all night.) If he's straight, and he thinks I'm interested in him, it could be even worse! (We straight people are so closedminded!) OK then, it's going to be a girl somewhere between model gorgeous and butt ugly. That narrows the field. It's 8:05. I can hear through the doors that the opening act, My Favorite, is playing. I really wanted to catch their set, but I have this ticket to deal with. So I wait. There's a girl approaching alone oh wait, there's her girlfriend. What about that one? Oh, she's with two guys. They all have tickets anyway. Isn't this thing sold out yet? I check at the window. They still have 10 tickets. Sigh. I make a mental note to remember not to give the ticket to anybody without first making sure that they are a fan and not a ticket scalper. I have wasted extra tickets before by giving them to someone I thought would use them, only to find somebody different sitting next to me once I got inside who undoubtedly paid $100 apiece for them. But how am I to make this crucial assessment? Should I ask her to name a member of the band? Too hard, I think. Are any of their names even on the first three records? Better make it a song title. Ask her favorite, that'll do. 8:10 and I strike up a conversation with this girl who is wandering around in front, thinking she might need a ticket. Turns out she also has an extra ticket, which she is trying to sell. I tell her I was going to give mine away rather than sell it, because my sister's friends were tackled by the police outside a U2 show at Madison Square Garden because the cops thought they were selling their own tickets, and they missed the show because they spent the night at the police station. (True story, although I've often wondered if they actually had some contraband in their possession and told the ticket story to avoid parental wrath.) I briefly consider asking her to sell both of her tickets, split the money with me and come sit with me in the 10th row, but how can I ask her to do that after the story I just told? We exchange good luck wishes and go our separate ways. At about 8:15, disturbing thought number two occurs to me. In a flash of evil brilliance, I come up with the deranged scheme of finding a couple without tickets and offering them my ticket, but only if the girl will ditch the guy and sit next to me. Kind of like that movie Indecent Proposal, only without Demi Moore and all the money. I laugh at my own diabolicalness and dismiss the idea as impractical. How would I enforce it? What if she engaged in the selfless act of turning the ticket over to her guy? Then I've got this guy sitting next to me after I tried to entice his girl away from him. Awkward, and potentially painful! 8:20, still tickets left at the box office. I'm obviously going to miss most of the My Favorite set. I briefly consider giving the ticket to a scalper just so I can get it over with and go inside, but I can't bring myself to do it because it will mean that some fan will have to pay some outrageous price for the ticket. I shouldn't let my laziness cause such an inequitable result. Maybe I should just give up and walk inside with the extra ticket, putting it to death. It would be nice to have someplace to put my coat. Aargh I can't do that either! I derive all of my power tonight from this little scrap of paper in my pocket and I can't murder it! At about 8:25, I return to the box office to see if the show is sold out. They are down to the last couple of tickets. In a bold move, a scalper is actually in the box office trying to peddle a couple of $25 tickets for $50 each. I'm standing next to him listening to him make his pitch to these two girls. They hesitate, so he turns to me and asks if I need a ticket. I tell him he doesn't want me to answer that right now. He asks why not, and I tell him he'll have to trust me. He persists, so I tell him in a loud voice "Because I have an extra ticket I'm trying to give away for nothing!" A girl on the other side of the box office hears this and comes over. She appears perfect for the ticket female, unaccompanied, and somewhere between model gorgeous and butt ugly, more towards the former end of the spectrum. "Are you serious," she asks. "Sure. Do you need a ticket?" "Yeah, I came down without one hoping I could get in," she replies. "OK, here you go." I hand her the ticket. "Really?" she asks. "Yes," I say. "Enjoy the show!" And then I remember my litmus test: I forgot to ask her her favorite B&S song. So I literally grab the ticket back from her hand and say, "Wait a second. What's your favorite Belle & Sebastian song?" By now, we've drawn a little crowd, and they are now oohing and laughing over my question. The girl stammers for a good while and I start to fear maybe I have the wrong person. She finally manages to blurt out "The Boy with the Arab Strap". Relieved, I stick the ticket back in her hand and say "Have fun." As I'm walking out triumphantly, she tracks me down, introduces herself (Michelle), asks my name, and thanks me profusely. Which triggers disturbing thought number three: What strange sort of relationship have I just created? Does she think I now expect something of her, having bestowed this gift upon her? And do I indeed expect something of her? OK, I'm going to have to watch that, as we are going to be sitting together, and be careful not to send the wrong message. We enter the theater together and she heads off to the restroom. I grab the new My Favorite CD and find my seat. I catch their last two songs, which are very good. They're somewhere near the intersection of Joy Division, Echo and the Bunnymen and The Smiths, with a pretty girl singer. (There's much more to them than that, but that's what I heard in those two songs. I told you I was shallow.) At the intermission, I pick up a few B&S stickers and check out the old theater, legendary for its jazz shows, many of which have been released on record. I make my way back to my seat. Michelle is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps she thinks I expect something of her and is uncomfortable sitting next to me. That would be a shame. A little while later, this guy comes up to me and says he thinks I'm sitting in his seat. I look at his ticket and tell him he's in the same seat, but in the next section. A minute later, Michelle appears. She was in the other guy's seat by mistake! I tell her she could have named any B&S song and she would have gotten the ticket. We talk about how we don't know the names of songs anymore the way we used to when we were younger and had time to read all of the liner notes. We speak briefly about our appreciation for B&S. She was introduced to them not too long ago by someone at work. I've been into them since 1998 and missed them the first three times since then that they came to NYC, so I'm seeing them three times this year. I start to tell her about the Brooklyn show, and the lights go down. This show was even better than Brooklyn, which I didn't think was possible. The new stuff is just incredible live, the vocals are breathtaking. There were plenty of oldies for us old people. Stuart brought this wonderful girl Debbie up from the crowd to sing. She chose Lazy Line Painter Jane, and she was so amazing that she brought the house down. She also cajoled us into rising from our seats and dancing for the first time all night. We were all so very proud of her, even though we didn't know her, because she was up there for all of us. (If they pick me tomorrow night, I will make them sing Little Red Book the Love arrangement. And I have to remember to tell my wife Dana "Happy Anniversary" from the stage, as November 11th is the 9th anniversary of our wedding.) About an hour and a quarter into the show, Michelle's cell phone rang, and she said she had to go because she "got a call". She again thanked me profusely. We hadn't chatted much, probably due to our mutual concern over sending the wrong message, but she definitely seemed to enjoy the show, thankfully, so it seems the dynamics of the extra Belle & Sebastian ticket all worked together in perfect harmony to bring about a happy ending for all concerned. If this were a hollywood movie, the final song tonight would have been The Boy with the Arab Strap. (Remember that was Michelle's favorite song.) Instead, it was Get Me Away, I'm Dying my favorite B&S song. Karma? You decide. Gary ------------------ Here's what they played tonight, 10 Nov 2003 (NOT IN ORDER EXCEPT AS NOTED): 1. Slow Graffiti Step Into My Office Travellin' Light (as spelled on the set list) If She Wants Me Piazza Asleep on a Sunbeam You Don't Send Me Wrapped Up in Books Stay Loose (GREAT!!) I'm Waking Up To Us Seeing Other People Lazy Line Painter Jane (introducing Debbie on vocals!) Dog On Wheels Expectations You're Just a Baby DD#2 Beautiful Roy Walker Enc #1 - Sleep the Clock Around Enc #2 - Get Me Away, I'm Dying Gary _____________________________________________ p.s. http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?Rhoda&1 ________________________________________________________________________ Want to chat instantly with your online friends? Get the FREE Yahoo! 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