This is a thing on the web called the Dialiectizer, which is funny, I decided to run through the little piece of text on the programme for Belle and Sebastian's concert at the Moir Hall a while back through it, on the "jive" setting, and this is what it comes up with... First the original... Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to out little evenings entertainment in the plush municipal surrounds of the Mitchell Library. Im certain Mr.Mitchell would turn in his book-lined grave if he knew what we were doing here tonight. We are privileged to have Falkirks Arab Strap playing with us tonight. They will open with a short set of acoustic observations. They are good, but quite rude, so it is suggested that you position your hands over the ears of small children in readiness. Next come Belle and Sebastian. Recording on the Jeepster label, this group (all active members of the T.A.) will play songs from the record If Youre Feeling Sinister. In fact, they will play the whole record in sequence. This is the sort of indulgence that gives rock a bad name. To give you something to do while you listen to ten songs which you probably dont know, we have provided a handy checklist opposite. The band have stuck the encore onto the end of the set, so you can be assured that there will be no ugly surprises to come between you and your Saturday gins. And then run through the "dialiectizer" Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome t'out little evenin's entertainment in de plush municipal surrounds uh de Mitchell Library. Slap mah fro! I'm certain Mr. Ah be baaad...Mitchell would turn in his scribblin'-lined grave if he knowed whut we wuz hangin' here tonight. Man! We is privileged t'have Falkirk's Arab Strap playin' wid us tonight. Man! Dey gots'ta jimmey wid some sho't set uh acoustic observashuns. Dey is baaaad, but quite rude, so's it be suggested dat ya' posishun yo' hands upside de ears uh small children in eyeballiness. Next mosey on down Belle and Sebastian. 'S coo', bro. Reco'din' on de Jeepsta' label, dis group (all active members uh de T.A.) gots'ta play beats fum de reco'd If Youse Feelin' Sinister. Ah be baaad... In fact, dey gots'ta play de whole reco'd in sequence. Dis be de radical indulgence dat gives rock some baaaad dojigger. To cut ya' sump'n t'do while ya' listen t'ten beats which ya' probably duzn't know, we gots provided some handy checklist opposite. De band gots stuck de enco'e onto de end uh de set, so's ya' kin be assho' mand dat dere gots'ta be no ugly surprises t'come between ya' and yo' Saturday gins. Cheers, Keith. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- . This message was brought to you by the Sinister mailing list. . To send to the list please mail "sinister@majordomo.net". . For subscribing, unsubscribing and other list information please see . http://www.majordomo.net/sinister . For questions about how the list works mail owner-sinister@majordomo.net . Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa -----------------------------------------------------------------------