This is my first posthumous post. That's right, i died sometime last week, but i'll still try to remain part of the group. They say you can only become truly famous after you're dead, so i try not to be sad because now it's gonna happen. A thousand mourners line the streets, waving colored tail-feathers at the funeral motorcade. Their hero is back, coffin-sized. My last words were something like: "Milos, I badly miscalculated the counter-spin. I have fallen from the altar of love!!" What does Bukowski say about all this? "Love is all right for those who can handle the psychic overload. It's like trying to carry a full garbage can on your back over a rushing river of piss." Okay then. Since i failed to jump on the bandwagon when we were making dirty versions of B&S song titles, here's my contribution: "Ease Your Meat Into The She" And if that wasn't content enough, i figure anything relating to Scotland will qualify. So: TOP TEN PUNCHLINES TO SCOTTISH DIRTY JOKES: 10. It took me a fortnight to remove the thistles 9. I didn't know you could also get wool from them! 8. It's not a bagpipe, but don't stop playing 7. What made you think I was talking about golf? 6. I've heard of comin' through the rye-- but this is ridiculous! 5. Of course she's served millions-- she's a McDonald 4. Oh, so YOU'RE Wade Boggs 3. Care to shake hands with the Loch Ness monster? 2. Who's burning argyles? 1. She's in the distillery making Johnnie Walker Red And today was so warm & sunny, it was truly like summer. So i was riding my Vespa around, singing "I Know Where The Summer Goes". And nothing evokes the feeling of summer like that song. Try singing "when your underarm smells and your kitchen looks like hell" on a beautiful hot day and you'll see what i mean. Even "if you're scraping a pot and your head is hot" does it. Amazing. I guess i just miss everything i ever had. Know what i mean? Why can't things stay the same? I mean i REALLY MISS EVERYTHING I EVER HAD. This includes the bad too, but mostly the good. Just living until you die is hard work. Posthumously yours, Brier +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named +-+ +-+ Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+