Two posts from me in one day? Now you can't say you didn't get lucky on Valentine's Day. Someone on this list said after reading Mr. Thorniley's hilarious post, they felt as if they should be trying to "get in my pants." James, I think we need to discuss the frequency of your posts. You're what - half my age? If you didn't speak English and only had three days left in the country before you had to leave to never return due to Visa problems, you would be exactly what I'm looking for in a guy. Yeah, I've given up on going weak in the knees for witty literary b&s and pixie loving boys. Oh wait - what is that I hear? Rush Limbaugh and Bill Clinton just sprouted wings and are taking flight?* /me sees Vel & Chrstiaan giving me disapproving looks with their arms crossed and one foot tapping. Um, I mean - Ewwwww boys. Guys are icky. I find it humorous that Archel would call me a heartthrob when I didn't get a DANG THING for Valentine's Day. Well, except for a super cute ecard from Vel & one from Ken - the latter of which he probably sent to all the girls in hopes they'd discover what a witty, charming, and irresistible boy he is. However, I made lots of Valentines as usual. A couple of years ago I even made some and gave them out at a nursing home. All my friends made fun of me and, of course, wouldn't come with me but it was still pretty fun. Somehow, I resisted the temptation to write on any of them, "I've fallen for you ... and I can't get up." However, there was one that was a train and said "I choo choo choose you as my Valentine." Since I don't have a love life I suppose I should talk about B&S. Or maybe I'll just talk about their love lives instead. I don't know why we keep 'beating around the bush. We all know why no one liked the new album as much as their prior releases. There's not one single masturbation reference at all!! I guess since Sebastian was getting it AWN with Belle, he was too good for himself. Mmm, this is mildly smutty. Should I continue? YES! The other day I couldn't figure out how to spell 'boudoir.' I kept getting the ou and oi confused. It was frustrating me and so I finally had to resort to typing in Alexander Borgia's name on the yahoo search page and TA-DA there it was. "A sensual boudoir for the romantic pleasures of women." Ahahaha. Alex, baby, if you're still on the list - I'm not laughing at you - I'm laughing far (far) away from you. If I remember correctly, he called me a tart. According to thespark.com, he is so wrong. Why I'm as pure as a Mountain Stream. Yup! "Basically, love flows from you like fresh, clean water from a Rocky mountain stream. Be careful, because some guy might combine you with only the choicest hops and turn you into a beer." I'm mistaken for beer quite a lot which might be why I like going to baseball games so much. ----------- Then I realized that I was just in my bra and a guy whose name I didn't even know was peppering my stomach with kisses. And wait - how did my hair turn blonde?** ----------- Lethally Loquacious Lusty Laura Llew Leisurely Lisped:
In our next edition of Laura Llew's Ramblings -- # Sinister: Satan's Chatroom or The Land of Milk(maids) & Honey
Ooh, that's the first time I've ever quoted myself before. I think I like it - I figure with all the new people toddling in I can start recycling my old posts in hopes I'll get more responses the second time around. Like my idea of a program to adopt poor struggling youngns like myself and help them on the right path by donating mix tapes or money to buy them cds. For the costs of filling your car up with gas, you can sponsor a girl so that she might have decent music to listen to. Poor impoverished Laura is stuck in a dank dim world filled with drab radio stations that only play backstreet boys and broccoli spears. Add light and enlightenment to her life by helping her so that her life might become a cornucopia of wonderful musical endeavors and happiness that will feel her very soul (yes, she even has a soul!). Every week you will receive a letter from your adoptee (me) telling of how your donation has enriched my life. I'll even send you doe eyed pictures of me snuggling up to my new treasures that will melt your heart (if you have one. which can only be proven if you participate in this program that is the highest echelon of charity). Well, that or I'll have Vu draw something for me to send. I know you are all tempted (to delete this letter. Go ahead. Shatter all my dreams...) I digress (which IS easy to do when one is as impoverished as I am.) # Sinister Saved My Life. AuntSadie is having Chris Lampien's Luv Child I've always felt like a content goldilocks in North Carolina. It's not too hot in the summer and never too cold in the winter. However, this winter things have gone awry and we've had lots of snow. I like snow - as long as I'm inside sipping on hot chocolate and looking out on it saying, "Oooh pretty." Actually, I even like being out in snow as long as I'm not in a vehicle, not on the curvy mountain road that I drive every day, and not having to dodge a large truck as it slides down sideways. So, I've found myself fretting about driving in the powdery white often this winter and one day I even got driving tips from Starfire Dave while in #sinister. For New Years, I went on a roadtrip to the deep south since rumor has it that Jack Frost never visits there. Remember children, rumors are usually lies! I got stuck driving in snow in Mississippi which was ok until I came across a pothole which I did not see until too late since it was covered by the white stuff. It sent my car sliding all over the road. Have I mentioned yet that the on the right side there was no shoulder but only a steep drop? My car starts spinning in circles and I'm about to go off the road when I suddenly thought, "Starfire said to steer into the slide." (Would you look at that? Crisis situation and my thoughts exemplify alliteration. That, my friends, is talent). I don't even know what that means but I did it. And my hokey - it worked! I have now have a new hero! Dave, if we ever meet I owe you a big hug and no - that's not exchangeable for money. I just hope that it stays dry at the end of this month when I wander up to north to NJ and NY. I hope we keep the talk about Twin Peaks, children's books, and midgets on ponies up on this list. I'm a fan of all three. Jer and Mike are now on my list of Sinisterines who I adore just for mentioning TP. Along with Julie who is at the top of the list because she thought of me while reading Virginia Woolf. I know she didn't mean it in that way but it's probably the best compliment I've ever gotten. Oh and Kittenmouse Andrea because she dressed up as the log lady for Halloween one year. That's ace. As far as Blake and The Giving Tree, how could anyone *not* cry upon reading that book. I have both Silverstein and a Little Prince prints up in my room and I usually spend each Saturday morning squirreled away in the children's section of the bookstore reading kiddy books. With Silverstein, Seuss, the Little Prince, the Selfish Giant, Cloudy with a chance of meatballs, Goodnight Moon, and Tuesdays -you can't go wrong! What???? There's been no talk of Midgets On Ponies?!?! Why do I even bother? Laura "meeting all of your Laura Llew needs since 1977" *sorry Big Stu - you made me do it ** http://www.missprint.org/sinister/sillustrations/ (No 1) -- Just helping you out, Vu Search This! AuntSadie's Luv child; masturbation; midgets on ponies; getting lucky ---- "Just go on the internet and you'll find plenty of guys there. Of course, they will all be as crazy as bedbugs." -- my mom _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+