Dear List, Please don't read this, if you don't like smuty and sweary content, or if you're Stephen Pastel. OK? Fine. Stephen Pastel has a new club in Glasgow called "salute", as in "I salute you, sir". But what does that wee thug actually know about saluting? Has he ever been in the army? No. But he was in The Army of Christ (well he thought he was). Read on, my daring chums...... The Army Of Christ ================== One Day Stephen Pastel grew weary of his evil ways. The stench of drink, fags, whores, lovely heroin and cockfighting sickened him. His withered frame was that of a malnourished 10 year old, not a 50 year man. "SHITE!", he said " would you look at the FUCKING STATE of me. I'm gonna join the FUCKING Army of Christ!". There was a poof of smoke, and a wee fox appeared. "Oh Swephen", said the fox, "I'm swo swo gwad you have decided to tuwn away from this tewiblle wife you wead. I will intwoduce you to the Awmy of Chwist, as I wove the wittle baby jesus! Fowwow me!!" The little fox led Stephen Pastel to his woodland clearing. "This is FUCKING LOVELY, ya wee BASTARD", shouted Stephen ecstatically. The fox stopped in his tracks. "Swephen, if you weally weally want to join the Awmy of Chwist, you'll weally have to twy and stop sweawing!". "Aye, ok, sorry an that", Stephen gulped, "I'll try". He held his breath for a minute. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, and his buttocks clenched. He turned a funny purple, like Jim Robinson in Neighbours before he died, and started shaking violently until he couldn't hold it in any longer. "BASTARD! I CANNAE FUCKING DO IT!!!". "Don't wowwy Swephen, I have just the wight wemedy for you", the fox said while reaching deep down into his trousers pocket. Much to Stephen's surprise the little fox whipped out his chap, and proceeded to do a wee-wee on Stephen's leg, "YA FUCKER!!!", shouted the irate Pop Pastel. The fox lent back and redirected his potent streamy towards Stephens head. "Aye, ok, ok, stop pishing on me. I'm not swearing any more!". "And I'm not weally in the Awmy of Chwist", laughed the silly fox as he skipped away, happy with his days work. "Tomowwow", he sang, "I'm going to wee wee alllllll over that fellow from My Gad Dad". Yours, Chrys Lynyrd =================================== Visit the Sleeka Sounds Corporation http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~calnd/sleeka/ ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the reborn Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail "sinister@majordomo.net". To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to "majordomo@majordomo.net". WWW: http://www.majordomo.net/sinister +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students" +-+ +-+ "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list" +-+ +-+ "jelly-filled danishes" +-+ +----------------------------------------------------------------------+