Yesterday a waitress gave me a mango. Inspired by said waitress and said mango I decided to have a go at working out the lyrics to Dear Catastrophe Waitress. Dear Catastrophe Waitress +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Waitress, I love your knees, Your earl grey teas, Your chintz and gingham charms. When I wanted spaghetti, You came over to serve me, Carrying plates all up your arms. <<10-minute maracas solo>> I thought, thought that you loved me, When you gave me extra hot water with my pot of tea, But what came next was a catastrophe: You didn't give me spaghetti, no, You gave me a shepherd's pie instead, Yeah, a shepherd's pie instead. <<Stuart reads a passage from 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe', over the sound of a dog being dipped into a bucket of paint>> Dear catastrophe waitress, I don't love you anymore, Dear catastrophe waitress, I want a refund. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I think this will be my favourite song on the album. Not so sure about that maracas solo, though. I blame Trevor Horn. r x ps: Today is Stuart Lee Murdoch's birthday. I've decided to bake him a cake and send it to him in an envelope. He'll love that. I think it must be sinister's birthday soon. Maybe we could have a party and hire a naked lady to jump out of a big cake. _________________________________________________________________ On the move? Get Hotmail on your mobile phone http://www.msn.co.uk/msnmobile +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+