Spurred into action by the gentle nudgings of Sir David and the Llew, I return. There are explanations for my protracted absence, but they're boring and self-indulgent and reflect badly on me, so I shan't go into it here. Suffice to say, I finished my degree and have started real grown-up work of the full-time nine-to-five variety. And I have limited internet access at work and a full office of women who, though kindly, would not appreciate me emailing you legion of bedsit saddos when I should be working. Work is an interesting affair, though no more interesting than it is tiresome and dull, sadly. It's not that I actively dislike it, it's more that I find it so annoying because it prevents me from doing what I really want to do. Don't people realise how much lying down and reading I could be doing if it weren't for all those pesky phone calls and enquiries? How can they not see how much they're holding me back from my life? Life has now become something that I fit in in the evenings if I'm not too weary, or do at the weekends if I'm not too hungover. And work is also turning me into one of those people who moans about work all the time, and I hate that.... Romance appears to be in the Sinister air, and big congratulations are shouted out to the other side of the world to Mrs and Mr Julie and David Bulk. Getting married looks like a right laugh. I do hope their wedding will be like the one I attended the other weekend. Actually, I didn't attend the wedding because my girl reckoned it would be dull, so we jetted up to the North East for the reception. The bride looked wonderful, just as she should. She spend the evening flinging her frock around, dancing to Nutbush City Limits by Tina Turner, while the groom kept sloping off for sneaky cigarettes where his Mam and Dad couldn't see him. Surely, if you've got a three year old child and you've just got hitched, isn't it time that your folks know you smoke? They sure as hell know you had pre-marital sex. I have missed many Sinister activities in the past year or so, and now I have to miss the next one. Dash it all. I have promised my mate Scottish Stu that I'll go to his party on Saturday, so I can't come down to London to twist the night away at Tigermilking. Once, Scottish Stu got angry and hit someone so hard he broke his own finger. He's not the kind of chap I like to turn down. Also, I've heard that at his last party there was a guest who got so drunk he wet his pants. I hate this particular man with the fire of a thousand suns, so must attend in the hopes that I can see the slack-jawed fucker lying in a pool of his own urine. I'm sure you all understand. Another thing that I am sad about is the fact that I shan't have the chance to go on one of my bizarre caravanning holidays this year. Regular readers may remember my jaunts in both Buxton and Boston. The high points of these trips were, respectively, eating hummous in the park, and a day trip to Skegness. Now that I'm a wage slave, I am far too busy swanning around to meetings, sometimes travelling as far as Coalville (smallest gene pool in Britain apparently. Oh man, does it show....) and Market Harborough, I can't take off to the wilds of anywhere that's within a two hour drive. Instead, I'm settling for a week in North Wales. It's female, three-generational fun! My mother, sister and grandma and I are taking off, so that we can have arguments in a new environment. Best New Bossy Susan quote: "Now you, our Mads, look like Drew Barrymore if she'd had reverse lipsuction. You know, with the fat put in...? Smoochey wet kisses to all of you, Madeleine _________________________________________________________________ On the move? Get Hotmail on your mobile phone http://www.msn.co.uk/msnmobile +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+