Watching fans only has made me think a bit. Think a bit about the past mainly. It has made me remember an obscure little band that very few people knew about to be. An isolated kind of thing where we'd shut the curtains late at night and put on some CDs and drink some wine. I remember the night we punched the air and screamed in amazement as we watched the Brit awards. Actually believing that the people upstairs might understand why we were so excited. It was at that point that it seemed that the whole world knew our well-kept secret. It was the first time I'd seen anyone from the band. We laughed at how surprised we felt and how surprised they must have felt, then punched the air and screamed some more. And later I remember the days before we moved. The end of an era. The days when I first heard Lazy Line Painter Jane. I remember dancing around the kitchen of the upstairs flat swotting the flies that had made homes for themselves that hot sweaty summer. Packing up all our worldly belongings preparing for the big move north. I remember the feeling of excitement too and the pride I felt that I shared the surname with the singer, not to mention the fear and the regret. It was the beginning of something. Sometimes I feel that I have never really moved on from that time, that things will never be quite as good as they were then. I look around myself and I'm not completely sure how I ended up here. Other times of course, I know that they have. Moved on that is. I just need to look around myself at, the friends I've made, and the things I've doing and have done to prove that to myself. Maybe I still don't talk to people quite as much I'd like, but now I know places where I can go find people who 'll smile. And I'll remember picnics and gigs and trips to Belfast. And I'll remember that THIS is the beginning of something. Take Care Rachel ************* If you're any sort of hero, you'll be fighting for what you believe in. You'll get tired, and worn down by the world. There's always somebody to tell you you're wrong....You can't always save the world. But you're a hero, so that won't stop you trying. http://www.friendsoftheheroes.co.uk ***************** +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-+ Snipp snapp snut, sa var sagan slut! +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+