i haven't had much to write about lately. i went out and bought a new composition book today and sat down with a pen, and nothing came. it's a pity to have a brand-new notebook and nothing to write. i'm afraid that speaks volumes about my very existence in this city...opportunity without motivation. and rooms full of potentially-interesting people i'm too shy to meet, their numbers nearly matched by the dozens of interesting people i've met who, for one reason another, i never call. one thing that's interesting about this place is that nearly everyone makes eye-contact as they pass, only for a moment, making me wonder what they're thinking and what they've been doing to keep themselves entertained all day. probably just drugs. drugs, studies, and music seem to be the dominant uniting factors among people my age. i don't do drugs, and my half-hearted attempts at independent study hardly make for quality conversation in that realm. and music...being far too poor to go about spending money on records has done its part to drain my confidence in discussing anything released after 1998. maybe these are the reasons why i always find myself engaged in lengthy conversations with middle-aged men. another possibility, of course, is that single 50-year-old men are hopelessly drawn to lone girls who, while comfortably past the minimum age requirement for "consenting adults," still look young enough to get carded every time they buy cigarettes. i've decided that another factor contributing to my lack of youthful companionship is that most people my age have made the necessary connections to obtain fake IDs, enabling them to stuff themselves into noisy, crowded "college bars" and, given the confidence provided by massive consumption of cheap beer, meet attractive strangers to politely push out the door in the morning. maybe that's not exactly "companionship," but it does seem to be a more popular past-time among 20-year-old people than sitting on a plastic chair, drinking tea and dodging a 54-year-old man persistently attempting to sell them bootlegged recordings of brahms' liebeslieder waltzes..."cheap." in any case, last night was the first time in ages i'd sat down with someone whose hair was bubble-gum pink by choice, as opposed to faintly purplish in the sun as a side effect of silver chic hairdye in a shade called "frosted twilight." it was strange...i sort of felt like her grandmother, assuming her grandmother smoke parliament lights and giggles at dirty jokes. i guess that's all. xoxo kirsten (who, regrettably, looks like neither jennifer lopez nor kirsten dunst) Care2 make the world greener! http://www.care2.com - Get your Free e-mail account that helps save Wildlife! +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+ +---+ Brought to you by the Sinister mailing list +---+ To send to the list mail sinister@missprint.org. To unsubscribe send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to majordomo@missprint.org. WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister +-+ "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper +-+ +-+ "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "peculiarly deranged fanbase" +-+ +-+ "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000 +-+ +-+ "frighteningly named Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000 +-+ +-+ "sick posse of f**ked in the head psycho-fans" - NME June 2001 +-+ +-+ Nee, nee mun pish, chan pai dee kwa +-+ +-------------------------------------------------------------------------+